Hi.
I'm 17 and my birthday is September 10th.
So I'm mentally ill and I will use this as my diary.
I used to have a friend group but they not good for my mental heath so I left.
Before I left, I had fight with a friend in that group. It was my fault so I couldn't blame her.
After that I have always sit alone in my class and talk to a few girl but they not my friend, we just have a small conversation
So there is a girl she understand a lot about mental health illness. I really love talking to her. But I make some mistake I think and now she doesn't talk to me and I'm so upset.
As I said, I have mental health problem, so she can't handle me. This I know and I will leave her, I don't want my friend  to get upset because of me.
I have a lot of exam and test during this week but I don't have anything inside my brain cuz I couldn't focus in class.
So I have to study real hard this week.
I feel a little bit ill right now, and I'm very sad for a lot of reason.
My mom and dad divorced last year.
And my mom really hate him and she annoying me everyday about my dad.
When Im talking to my dad on the phone, she always around to listen what I said to him. And if I stand up for myself in an argument she said she will send me to my dad as a punishment.
This make me realize just because we have happy moments with our family, doesn't mean we have a good relationship with them.
I heard what she talk about me behind my back, she said I'm the same as my dad and it's got me crying and haunted me everyday. But don't misunderstand me, my dad is good, it's just when she say that, it's mean she hate me like she hate him. And she talk about my brother as the exact same way on the phone, in front of my face.
I really need a life savor now.
So now, I'm here, dead but alive, having no friend, mental heath at risk but can't cry. Thanks.