This is quite a long chapter! Enjoy. 

Also, thanks for your support on the last chapter as well - 200+ votes again. Your support fills me with warmth. 😍

--

Was the thud of his heart a symbol of fear? 

Was it dread?

Was it doubt? 

Doubt in his Bondita's faith?

Or was it love... pure love for her that hated to see her go through the pain that she would inevitably go through?

As Bondita stood there, her eyes on Saudamini, who was against Anirudh, her mouth not too far from his, all Anirudh could do was grab Mini's arms and push her off. 

Saudamini looked at him with shock and then turned to Bondita. She gaped at her for a few seconds, as Bondita just stared, her expression undetectable.

What was she feeling?

"Who are you? And how dare you come into our room?" Saudamini just hissed at her, "Anirudh, who is she?"

Anirudh looked into Bondita's eyes, an overwhelming amount of guilt and heartbreak filling up his insides, as he saw the dead expression in her eyes. 

It wasn't neutral. Her expression. 

It was dead.

Bondita looked at Anirudh, feeling like her whole world didn't make sense. 

Saudamini... was here...

With her Pati Babu... 

In their bedroom... 

So close to him... 

And claiming this was their room... 

Her Pati Babu had asked her to live separately... 

He hadn't spoken to her for a month... 

And she had no idea... no idea at all, that Saudamini was here. She had no idea at all that her Pati Babu shared the room... with... Saudamini... 

How was she supposed to make sense of this? 

She was in such a state of disbelief, that she didn't feel the fear that would have normally poured through her veins if she saw Saudamini, due to her past trauma. 

It was like the trauma of this sight was just greater than that of the whole past. 

But no... 

No, no, no... 

Her Pati Babu couldn't. He wasn't like that. 

Bondita knew that well. 

There had to be an explanation, a reason.

So she just held in her tears, choked back the unspoken words, and looked at him, waiting for him to say the first word. 

Anirudh just stared back, silent. 

It was Saudamini who broke the silence by tugging on his hand and demanding, "Why aren't you saying anything to her Anirudh? Why aren't you reprimanding her for coming into our room?"

Bondita tried to not let her eyes water, but the result was her throat choking up as she saw this. 

She could witness anything. Anything at all. But not this - not the person who tried to kill her, holding hands with her Pati Babu and him treating her like a stranger. Not the person who was his ex in this state... like this, as if nothing ever happened.

Anirudh always told Bondita she was his world... she was, right?

Yes... of course she was. Bondita knew what she meant to her Pati Babu. 

Something was the matter... 

Was... Saudamini blackmailing him? 

Yes, yes that must be it! 

No way would her Pati Babu leave her otherwise! 

Her knees trembled, as she remembered the time she was a child, getting kidnapped and nearly murdered by Saudamini. 

But still, she stepped forward, keeping her eyes intense as she stared at her. 

"Y - You," Bondita's voice shook, her knees trembling, her hands sweaty. "You - you b - blackmailed - right?"

Anirudh mustered up the courage himself, and looked at Bondita, taking a deep breath. 

"P -please go downstairs. I'll meet you downstairs," he told her, his voice dangerously cold, as if he was hiding the warmth of their relationship. 

Bondita just looked at him with a heartbroken expression. 

"P - please," he said hoarsely now. 

And Bondita just nodded, and turned around, her knees weak. She felt like she could fall over at any point now.

Anirudh watched with concern, and pulled his hand away from Saudamini's as Bondita stumbled towards the door. 

"B - be careful. On your way down... the s - stairs," he managed to say. 

Bondita sniffled, and didn't turn back, as she left the room. 

"Anirudh what was that all about?" Saudamini demanded, turning to look at him. 

"I have to go," Anirudh just said. 

"What, why? Who is she?" Mini demanded. "How did she have the guts to come to our bedroom?"

"Mini she... she's... a... a client," Anirudh lied, his own words catching in his throat. 

"Client? That lady? She looks young - is she pregnant too? What happened?" Mini asked. 

"I... I'll tell you later," Anirudh said, looking away, his heart hammering fast. 

"Why? Tell me now!" Mini demanded, "You're always saving the world Anirudh, but you give no time to your wife!"

Anirudh turned to glare at Saudamini now, blood rushing to his head. 

"HER HUSBAND LEFT HER SAUDAMINI," Anirudh screamed at her, "HE LEFT HER IN THAT PREGNANT STATE. THAT JERK OF A HUSBAND..."

Saudamini's eyes widened, fear reaching her face at his sudden shift in personality. Anirudh hadn't even been so close to her in this last month, that she could hear him scream like this. 

"Wow, you're still the same Anirudh I know," Saudamini said with a small smile now. But then her expression fell, "But why did her husband leave her? Did he find someone else?"

Anirudh just glared hard at Saudamini and he hissed, "All I know is that her husband should be shot dead."

Then he pushed past her to go downstairs. 

To meet Bondita. 

His Bondita.

--

She was in the study, holding the wall, and taking deep breaths to calm the panic that was inside of her. She was afraid. So afraid. 

What did this mean? 

What did her eyes show her? 

She shook her head. No... no, she trusted her Pati Babu through thick and thin. She trusted him through everything in the world. 

They had gone through so much together. She knew. She knew his love for her. 

She wouldn't doubt his love for her. 

Her eyes could lie, but her Pati Babu's love was not a lie. 

Her Pati Babu was hers. 

Their mann ka rishta, their hearts, their lives, they were woven together so deeply, with the threads of fate - how could she doubt that for a moment? 

Never. 

"Ohho Bondita," she then said, smacking her forehead, "How could you let your mind waver for even a moment? It must be your pregnancy hormones --" She touched her belly, "You... you're making me doubt your Baba aren't you? Don't! He loves us very much! I'm sure he has a reason. He always does." 

She smiled. "And when he comes here, I will... I will hug him tightly and tell him how much I missed him! I won't even question him! That's how much faith I have in him..." 

Then she blushed slightly, "And maybe we will have another session in the study. Ohhh, it's been so long." 

And like that, she shoved the thoughts of Saudamini out of her mind. 

Until... 

He came inside and quietly slammed the door shut. 

Bondita's back was turned to him, and Anirudh gulped nervously, as he approached her slowly. 

"Bondita, are you okay?" he asked first, about to touch her shoulder - but he refrained. 

With what right could he touch her right now?

She probably had such ill thoughts of him... 

"Am I?" she asked, her heart hammering fast. 

It had been so long... so long since she saw him. 

She was aching to be held by him. To be loved by him. She had been aching to speak to him - have a conversation. Just sit in his presence... she wanted to watch him work. She wanted to bring him coffee. 

It had been too long. 

"You shouldn't be here," he then said. 

"Only you can c - come in the middle of the night?" she then asked, finally turning around to look at him, her eyes searching for his. 

"How... how did you..." he gulped, as she pulled her hair back and showed the lovebite on her neck. He quickly tried to come up with an excuse, "That... that..."

"Why did you leave last night?" she asked, tears rolling down her cheeks now. 

She grabbed his hand, as it trembled. He tried not to tear up too, as she brought his hand to her belly. 

"Our baby misses you," she whispered, "Our baby is growing. See... I'm big now..."

"Not that big," he murmured. 

"Bigger than before... and you're... you're missing it," she whispered tearfully. 

Anirudh caressed her belly, tears finally rolling down his cheeks. 

"Bondita, I... won't you ask me about what happened... upstairs?"

She shook her head and whispered, "I know... I know not to waste my time on useless things. On people who - who aren't important... I want to focus on you. On how much I missed you... I want to be in your arms -"

"Bondita," Anirudh just said, his heart aching, "How can you be like this?"

He kept doing things to hurt her, and here she kept trusting him. Her faith was like a piece of glass that was unbreakable. 

Absolutely firm and true. 

She stepped towards him and touched his cheeks, wiping his tears away. 

"Why are you crying Pati Babu?" she whispered. 

Anirudh sniffled, just wanting to grab her and cry against her. 

He had been dealing with so much in this last month. He wanted to let it out - all out. 

But he didn't. 

Because he couldn't fall for his emotions right now. He had to do what was right -- and that was to protect Bondita. 

Now she knew that Saudamini wasn't only out of jail, but she was with Anirudh. In their bedroom. 

Saudamini saw her - and in a way that certainly made an impact. After all, how many people would barge into a couple's room (or what Mini believed was their room)?

He couldn't let Bondita, nor the baby come in harm's way. 

"You were so afraid of her," Anirudh whispered, "When I told you she was released from jail, you were so scared..." 

"I am... I'm very scared," Bondita admitted, tears entering her eyes again, "B - but I know if I focus only on my Bhagwaan, then all the demons will fade away." 

Anirudh choked. 

Again, she was calling him her Bhagwaan. 

"A Bhagwaan should behave like one," Anirudh whispered to her. 

"Do you know how a Bhagwaan behaves?" Bondita asked softly. "It's beyond the comprehension of our human minds. They're above this place... way above... their thinking is far, much further than we can think. And you? Your thinking is like that Pati Babu." 

"Bondita, you... you are... you are being too positive... Bondita," Anirudh said hoarsely. 

"I know that you love me Pati Babu so I'll never be insecure!" Bondita said with full determination. 

"What if you're wrong Bondita?" Anirudh asked, his heart breaking. "What if, you should understand this... what if you really... really lost your Pati Babu?"

He saw the expression on Bondita's face - it was like he was joking. 

"Please Pati Babu, don't play pranks. I know what must have happened. Buri Didi left jail and she remembered her long lost love. Then she came here and is acting like a psycho, claiming our bedroom as yours and hers! Maybe jail made her mentally unwell," Bondita theorized. "I know you probably just tried to push her away all along and instead kept me separately so she wouldn't hurt me."

Anirudh was impressed. Bondita was smart. So smart that she almost had it right. 

However, it wasn't completely correct. 

"Saudamini lost her memory," Anirudh said to her, "She doesn't remember what she did to you... she doesn't remember what she did to Sourabh. She only remembers me. And..." 

Anirudh took a deep breath and said, "She remembers our time together, and..." 

What was he doing?

The thought suddenly struck his head. 

If he was honest with Bondita... completely honest about Bhoumik Babu's condition, Bondita would understand. 

But she wouldn't leave his side. 

She would face Saudamini head-on. She would even face Bhoumik Babu. 

And... if Bhoumik actually ruined the rights of all those women? If everything he worked hard for got ruined? If the lives of all those girls got ruined because he was too attached to his Bondita? 

No... 

No, he had promised his life to this nation. He had promised his world to his fitoor. 

He already made that decision. 

He couldn't go back. 

And this was best anyways. Saudamini could turn dangerous again if Bondita confronted her. He had to move around the matter delicately. 

Then... there may be a chance to save even Saudamini from committing the same evil she once committed. 

And a chance to save his Bondita too... as well as his baby. 

He didn't trust Saudamini or Bhoumik. Not one bit. 

He had to keep Bondita away for the time being. He just had to. 

Until he figured out a way to get Saudamini to leave him on her own without doing anything psychotic. 

Bondita touched his hand... almost distracting him. 

"It's okay Pati Babu, you don't have to explain it to me. I have full faith in you. I know you won't disappoint me," she told him with a smile. "And you never can! We're one Pati Babu!"

Then she leaned towards him and rested her head against his chest, feeling in bliss. 

She missed him. 

Anirudh squeezed his eyes shut, desperately wanting to hold her against him. 

But... he couldn't. He couldn't. He just couldn't do the wrong thing right now. 

"Bondita, you are wrong," Anirudh suddenly said, his voice turning cold as he let Bondita rest against him, one of her hands clasping his. "Although Saudamini lost her memory and only remembers me, I also remembered something important... I also remembered my old feelings." 

He hated saying it. 

He cursed himself a million times over for saying it, in fact.

Bondita smiled against his chest. 

"What feelings? Of disgust?" Bondita questioned, hugging him tighter, this time, her arms wrapping around him. 

Anirudh darkly said, "No Bondita. Not disgust. The... love..." 

Bondita pretended she didn't hear it. 

If she did, she'd have to let go of him. 

She didn't want to. 

Instead, she turned her face slightly upwards and pressed her lips into his neck, feeling his skin. 

"Didn't you hear me?" he hissed. "I remembered how I loved her once... and I couldn't let go of her. T - that's why I left you. That's why I sent you there."

"Liar," Bondita just said, hugging him even more tightly. 

She didn't believe it one bit! 

"What? You couldn't have expected me to leave you on the streets? Not with my child in your belly."

Bondita shook her head and slightly pulled away, glancing into his intense, dark eyes. 

"I always thought you looked so hot like this," she whispered, "But today... you feel so cold. You won't even hug me."

Bondita brought her hand up to his cheek and said, "I love you. Very much. And I know you love me too. Our relationship was never so superficial."

Anirudh brought his hand up to hers on his cheek and whispered, gently rolling his face closer to hers. 

"You're right Bondita. It wasn't superficial. It was only misunderstood. You were so close to me, that I misunderstood our relationship myself."

He whispered, "I was only ever your teacher - and you, my student. I was only ever your friend, and you? You filled the void of the best friend I lost.  You were a replacement for me... a replacement for my mother who I lost, a replacement for my best friend who I lost and..."

His words turned ice-cold, "A replacement for the lover I lost too." 

That one stung. 

That one stung hard. 

"No Pati Babu," Bondita said, forcing a smile. 

"Now that she's back... without all the sins she committed... I want to be with her again. I want to give... give us a chance again." 

Bondita shook her head. 

"Not... not possible," she muttered, tears in her eyes. 

"It's the truth Bondita, whether you accept it or not. The truth won't change." 

I know you can handle this Bondita. I know it's going to hurt, but you will rise out of this like the Goddess that you are. 

Bondita leaned closer to him, her breath on his lips. 

"I wanted to kiss you for so long," she whispered, "Pati Babu, I wanted to feel your lips on mine... be with you - let's not... not tell lies today. Let's not waste time."

She tried to close the distance and kiss him - anything to distract him from the stupid thoughts he was having! And to distract her mind from the possibility of his words being the truth. 

But Anirudh grabbed her cheeks to stop her, their lips so close together, that they could hear each other's breaths.

"Don't you think that I should be faithful to my wife, Bondita?" 

That made her nearly collapse. 

"Saudamini is my... wife. That's why she's staying in our bedroom. Bondita, I've already moved on. I've already -" 

Wife? Had he lost it? 

Now Bondita got angry. And Anirudh could feel the heat rush to her cheeks between his fingers. 

"Then why did you come into my bedroom last night?" Bondita hissed angrily, little droplets of spit raining on his lips. "Why did you give me a lovebite? Why did you do that?"

"I guess... I lost control," Anirudh whispered, "You're... someone I got comfortable with. That's it..." 

Bondita pressed her lips together angrily, "And now? Now what do you feel?"

Anirudh glanced down at her lips. He couldn't possibly answer that honestly. 

Not could he answer it dishonestly...

"You are beautiful Bondita, I will never deny that --" 

Bondita grabbed his shirt tightly, tears rushing down her cheeks, and she gently pushed him back. 

"I don't... I don't want to kiss you!" she sobbed. "I don't want to! You're being mean to me right now Pati Babu! You're being mean to your Bondita and making up stories!"

Anirudh's heart was hurting, and he murmured, "If you want, you can ask anyone. The whole of Tulsipur knows that Mini and I are married." 

"The whole of Tulsipur is also saying that our child isn't yours!" Bondita sobbed. 

"I... I'll deal with them," Anirudh started. 

"Don't!" Bondita cried, "Because I can tolerate this rumour, but not the other one! Not the one of you and Saudamini!" 

"It's not a rumour --"

"It is! It's a lie! Everything is a lie!" Bondita screamed, now pushing him back so she could escape from him. 

"Bondita, calm down --" 

Bondita angrily rushed to his desk and pushed his folders down onto the ground, causing Anirudh to gulp. 

She was having one of those Durga Maa DJ sessions - and he was the target. 

"My own husband is pretending like he has another wife for God knows what reason!" Bondita screamed. "My own husband -- the King of ethics, the great Barrister Babu -- is trying to convince me of stupid... wrong... things!" 

Anirudh rushed over to her and anxiously said, "Don't do this, it's not good for the baby -" 

Now she was getting more upset. Her sarcasm and anger were channeling into pure rage!

"WHY DO YOU CARE?" Bondita screamed, turning to glare at him intensely. "GO AND HAVE A BABY WITH YOUR SO-CALLED NEW WIFE! YOUR FAKE WIFE!" 

Anirudh always wondered what Bondita's teenage tantrums would be like if she rebelled really badly. Was this the taste of one? 

"Bondita, now you're behaving like a child --" 

"I AM ONE! YOU MARRIED A CHILD, WHAT CAN I DO?"

"Bondita, everyone will hear --" 

"GOOD!" 

"Shh," Anirudh hissed, "If Mini hears, she won't like it --" 

"Yes, of course, you will care about her. Your ex-girlfriend, because I know she's not your WIFE! Do you think I'm a fool? Do you think I don't know you at all?"

Anirudh wanted to give up now. There was no winning against her arguments. 

But she was nowhere near done. She picked up his globe and threw it on the ground. 

"Bondita!" Anirudh groaned. 

"I CAME HERE BECAUSE I MISSED YOU! I WANTED TO HUG YOU! I WANTED TO WATCH YOU WORK! I WANTED TO MAKE YOU COFFEE! I --" her eyes welled with heavy tears, "I WANTED TO EMBRACE YOU SO TIGHTLY THAT ALL OUR DISTANCE WOULD MELT... BUT NOW..."

She grabbed the collar of his shirt again and shook him, "You've gone crazy! And you shouldn't cross your baby's pregnant mother! She won't spare you!" 

If the situation wasn't so serious, Anirudh would find her so hot right now. 

"T - That's why I'm saying... take care of our baby. Go home. Don't interfere here," Anirudh told her softly, trying to grab her arms so she wouldn't cause such a commotion that people would come barging in. 

Bondita tried to free her arms from his grip and she hissed, "I won't let anything happen to our baby. I'll die, but our baby won't --" 

Anirudh glared at her when she said she'd die. 

Bondita saw the glare and challenged, "You care? I thought you loved your fake wife?"

"Of course I care," Anirudh hissed, "Didn't I tell you, that you and I always had a special bond? The bond doesn't stop being special Bondita." 

Bondita glared at him with irritation - why was he doing this? Why was he stretching it like this? Why was he saying such an obvious lie to her about Saudamini being his wife?

"Bondita, do you remember... I always gave you the choice to let me go? Even until today, I've given you that choice. That... if for whatever reason, you want to see a world outside of me, you are free to go..." he took a deep breath and said, "I, I want you to give me that choice too. I want you to let me choose my life too."

Fresh tears entered Bondita's eyes. 

"That's why Bondita... you're no longer Bondita Roy Choudhary. You'll be known to the world as Bondita Das now."

It was like a hammer hit her chest, as Anirudh stripped her of her beloved last name. 

"N - No," Bondita refused, sobbing uncontrollably now, "I  - I d - don't... I don't give you that choice. B - Because I know that you're lying. Y - You're mine. I - I know it. I just know - know! A - And D - Das? You c - can't just say that. It - it doesn't w - work like that!"

Anirudh squeezed her arms gently, trying to shake her out of it. 

"This right here, this... is called denial," he whispered painfully to her, "Bondita, we do have a special relationship. A very special one. But it... it was never the type of love that was romantic. We turned into that, but it was never that from the beginning. In fact, it was forced. Now let me... let me live the life I was supposed to live Bondita."

The life he was supposed to live?

He continued, "The happy life... I would have lived... if I didn't have to take care of you..."

Those words did it. 

The tears were endless, but now her decision was too. 

"I was a burden on you..." she gasped, her breaths heavy, "I forced you into a life you weren't ready for. It wasn't me who needed to be freed, but it was you... it was you, who was young, who was forced into marriage. Your system was shocked, and you always craved... to see the other side. The world where Bondita... Das didn't come in."

She added, "I don't know how much of this is true, but it doesn't matter a - anymore. My mind has been made." 

She took a deep, painful breath.

Anirudh looked at her, as she shrugged herself away from his grip. 

"Then listen... Pati -- Barrister Babu," she let out. Anirudh's heart ached. He hadn't heard it like this in so long. "From today, this Bondita Das... she won't chase after you. She won't beg for your attention. She won't... try to decode your lies. Even if she knows you're lying, she won't... bother you... now you won't have this Bondita Das even glancing at you." 

Bondita looked away from him. 

"She will forget this face of yours even existed."

She took a few steps forward - away from him, as Anirudh watched, the color draining from his face. 

"Now Bondita's world is her baby. Bondita's world is this life within her, who she will inevitably bring to the world, and care for."

She stepped forward again until she nearly reached the door. 

"You... enjoy, with your fake... or real lover... I won't... disturb."

Tears rolled down her cheeks, "I won't even call your name anymore. You w - won't hear me call your name, even in - in the echoes of your mind."

How could she force him? One could never force a human, let alone a God... 

And in the depths of her heart, he would always remain that for her. 

Her Bhagwaan, her Sansaar. 

Anirudh watched as she opened the door and stumbled out, not sparing him a single glance... 

... Just like she vowed. 

"Bondita, I know I hurt you very badly," he whispered, tears rolling down his cheeks as she left, his heart hammering hard because her words stung him too. "May you never forgive me. I wish you success in everything that you do."

He took a staggered breath and sobbed, "E - even though I won't come in your way anymore, you're still... my Destination, My Bondita."

Just like that, words were like swords. 

Promises and vows were curses. 

Yet, the heart never stopped beating... and it only wanted, what it wanted.

And that was how the forbidden trails of love began... 

--

Writing this one made me emotional. 

How do you feel? 

What's going to happen now? 

Who is going to communicate first?

Any other thoughts?

Are you ready for the next chapter? 

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Love you all! 😘