I have the urge to go on a spree, but my readers are behind, hence I'm posting even slower. 😔

Please get Chapters 314, 315 and this one, to 450+ stars, to show you're catching up. This will allow me to update quickly for you all with a peace of mind. 

I would love your inline comments on this part too!

Chapter title is a lyric from the song Eraser by Ed Sheeran. 

--

He called her Sampoorna Maa. 

Maa. 

Yet, it felt like she didn't understand him. 

Anirudh didn't even expect her to. She was younger than him. She wasn't in any position to be his mother. First and foremost, when Anirudh came to know about her, Sampoorna had been Sourabh's wife. He had vowed to take Sampoorna's responsibility, for his best friend's sake after his death... yet, her marrying his Baba was a situation that he never expected. 

The barrister never held it against her -- whatever decision his Baba and Sampoorna took was their choice. He had no problem with it, unless anything happened without consent. 

Anirudh didn't know if Sampoorna was happy. She seemed to have made a place in this haveli. Her own place. A place where she got some respect -- even Kaka seemed to speak decently with her these days. But from Anirudh, she always had respect. 

The only time, his respect for her vanished, was when she used to play with Bondita's emotions. The time that Sampoorna had scared Bondita when she had first gotten her period, was something that he could have never easily forgiven. However, time passed, and Sampoorna changed. 

Perhaps, Sashwati had awoken her motherly instincts... but Anirudh truly felt a mother's touch from her, the night she took care of him when he was sick. 

Even though he didn't expect anything from her (and why should he? Since Bondita had fulfilled even that role of a mother for him, and left him with no room to desire for anyone else), he still thought at the very least Sampoorna could understand him. 

Yet, he was raising his voice, to a person who hurt him not only in her lack of understanding, but the accusations which filled him with deep guilt inside.

"Bondita speaks to you in what way?" Anirudh demanded, glaring at Sampoorna now, as he stood up from his chair to face her, "If she stands up for herself, for her rights, and you're taking offense to that, then that's your problem. Not hers. Nor mine!" 

Although what Sampoorna said caused him pain and hurt him, he wouldn't hear a word against Bondita's tarks from anyone else. The arguments that were so precious to Anirudh... he would never let anyone shut them down!

"Anirudh, this is the problem! You get defensive! You think you are handling Bondita in the best way, not realizing that you don't know everything!" Sampoorna accused coldly to him. 

Anirudh took a deep breath, trying very hard not to get affected by her words. He was scratching at his palms, making a huge effort to divert his focus from the pain that was building within his chest. 

"S - Sampoorna Maa, since you're talking anyways. What do you want?" he asked. The faster she blamed him, then the faster she would get out of here and leave him alone. 

"Pull Bondita out of school!" Sampoorna ordered. 

Anirudh looked at her with shock. 

"Huh?" he asked, expecting way worse than this. 

However, the worst was yet to come.

"She's pregnant! I thought you finally did the right thing by not letting her go to school, but you sent her back the very next day. Do you think that she can study in such a state? I told you to stop pressuring her Anirudh, but you still are doing it!" 

"I... I didn't pressure her," Anirudh said, sounding broken, "She herself... wanted to... go." 

"And you let her?" 

Anirudh looked at Sampoorna and said, with a heavy voice, "M - Maybe I'm wrong to send her. If... she shouldn't go, then I will pull her out first. Her health... is most important to me. B - but Sampoorna Maa, I don't want to hurt her. Why... why do you keep accusing me of those things?"

Sampoorna looked into Anirudh's wounded eyes, feeling her own heart get heavy. She had warmed up to Anirudh a lot in her time in this haveli. However, as the matter was about her sister, it wasn't so easy... especially after what she had witnessed! 

From the time that she came into this haveli, Anirudh had always claimed that Bondita was his zimmedari. A responsibility. At that time, it made Sampoorna so happy, because it meant that Anirudh and Bondita wouldn't have sexual relations, and beat her in giving this haveli a waaris.

However, over time, Anirudh stopped calling Bondita that. Her Jethji even believed that they showed fake affection towards each other! But Sampoorna was well aware, that a man's instincts couldn't be fake.

Bondita had grown up, grown more beautiful. She had all the curves that a lady had. On top of that, Anirudh shared a bedroom with her. How could a man resist?  

Sampoorna had her own experience. Even though she had full intentions to seduce Binoy, the truth was that regardless of whether she wanted to or not... he had been a man. And being in the same bedroom as her itself had awoken his desires. It didn't take long for her to warm his bed in that manner. 

How could Binoy's son not be the same, especially when the matter was about a beautiful young girl? 

"Anirudh, the truth is the truth! I never wanted to hurt you, but you left me with no choice when you unleashed your manly instincts on my sister, after showing her dreams of becoming a barrister! If that was your vision all along, why did you do this? Why?" Sampoorna demanded. "Now you have ruined her life, because you couldn't hold yourself back. It's a man's nature and I understand it! But not every man wants to make his wife a barrister! You were the man that was supposed to be different! And seeing this happening -- it has disappointed me! A lot!" 

Anirudh felt a tightness in his chest again, this time tears infiltrating his eyes, as his vision got blurry. The palms he was scratching at were starting to hurt. 

If Anirudh was in the right state of mind right now, he would yell at Sampoorna that this was none of her business. It was between him and Bondita, and she was nobody to pass comments on his relationship with his wife. 

However, her words had wounded him deeply, and he wasn't in the right state of mind. 

All he knew to do was explain himself... to voice out his thoughts, not to her, but to himself... to hold on to the little hope that Bondita unleashed through her letter. He didn't want to let that ray of hope go at any cost. So everything he was saying, was not a justification to Sampoorna... but rather, a justification to his own self, before he succumbed to the same darkness that he had just gotten pulled out of. 

"I... I never wanted t - to make her p - pregnant," Anirudh whispered through his tears. "W - We had taken a - all precautions. E - every precaution... b - but the m - medicine got switched." 

Sampoorna looked absolutely shocked to hear this. Bondita had been on medication?

"You wanted to fulfil all your desires, and you put my sister on medication to do that?"

Anirudh looked at Sampoorna with tear-filled eyes and he said, "I... I was ready to wait S - Sampoorna Maa. I was ready to wait until even after she became a barrister." 

"But you didn't!" 

Anirudh's eyes held so much pain now, that it was even evident to Sampoorna. 

"Your words are hurting... a lot..." Anirudh confessed, his voice cracking, "Y - you may l - love Bondita, but I... I also love her. I also c - can't see any injustice happening with her." 

Sampoorna looked at Anirudh, an ache in her chest upon hearing the pain in his voice, but also a newfound feeling of anger building up inside her, because of how much of a hypocrite he sounded like to her. 

"If you couldn't see any injustice, you should have prevented this! And you're talking about how my words hurt? Your act has hurt me too Anirudh! The ideal man you were supposed to be, the one with a vision to change this society... made his own wife suffer in the worst way?"

Sampoorna took a breath and added, "But, my biggest concern is her going to school. You're trying to fuel your agenda once again by sending her! You want to forcefully make her a barrister and stop her from fulfilling her duties as a mother! On top of that you've brainwashed and conditioned her to believe that this is what she should want! She won't even listen to me or Jethji! She only acts like your puppet!" 

Anirudh felt so many pangs in his heart when Sampoorna called Bondita his puppet. 

Bondita was someone who he wanted to hear praises for! Praises that she was not Anirudh Roy Choudhary's follower, but rather, the one who pulled Anirudh Roy Choudhary forward. He wanted Bondita to be the best, to surpass even him! 

So when he heard that Bondita was his puppet, this was a whole other kind of pain for Anirudh. And it was a deep one. 

He squeezed his eyes shut and thought, with warm tears spilling down his cheeks: Bondita, I'm holding on to the words you've written to me. The letter you wrote... which gave me so much hope. But over and over again, Sampoorna Maa is saying words to me, that I don't even know how to defend, because I somewhere agree with her... I somewhere agree that I'm the cause for all of this. How do I navigate this Bondita? How? Only you can guide me now.  

"Just stop her from going to school!" Sampoorna went on. "She has to stay home and rest." 

Anirudh opened his eyes and looked at her, finally saying, trying to keep his voice calm through his pain, "I was only sending her to school so that she doesn't feel caged at home. So that she doesn't feel sad. All her friends are at school. Her mental health is important too, right? She will have a better time with that there... and Vikram explained --" 

"That boy?!" Sampoorna hissed, "How can you trust that boy over Bondita's pregnancy? You have seriously gone nuts Anirudh!" 

Anirudh swallowed the painful lump in his throat. Now he had enough. As if the pain of his own insults weren't enough, Sampoorna was now insulting Vikram as well... and for some reason, Anirudh couldn't hear a word against the boy!

"Sampoorna, enough!" Anirudh hissed, omitting the Maa now, and leaving Sampoorna stunned. "Just because I've listened to your words all this time, doesn't give you the right to go on and insult everyone and everything!" His volume still hadn't reached dangerous levels.

Sampoorna blinked a few times, surprised by Anirudh's sudden change of tone. 

Anirudh took a deep breath, the impact of her words somewhere still hurting him, before he continued, "You're right. I made a huge mistake. I shouldn't have... given in to my desires. I did desire Bondita. But I love her too... very much. She wasn't just a beautiful woman for me. But she's everything to me. It was hard to hold back that love... and I ruined her life. I agree with you...that I should have never made her my Bondita. I should have just kept her as Bondita. I am not defending myself!"

He continued, "However, all these things that you're saying to me! All of these hurtful words... they are impacting me! They're pulling me away from her! And I..." Anirudh's gaze darkened now, glaring at her, "I...refuse... I refuse to be pulled away from Bondita! Do you hear me?" He raised his volume, glaring hard at her with his fierce look, "I REFUSE."   

Sampoorna looked at Anirudh's dark gaze now, slightly frightened by the tone he was taking. 

He brought his voice back to a normal level and firmly told Sampoorna, "Whether I made a mistake or not, whether I ruined her life or not, is not the problem right now! Right now, the problem is that Bondita needs me. And I can't let the one she needs go back into a state of depression... I can't let her Pati Babu, the one who she relies on so much go back into the shell that she herself pulled him out of. So, your words. I'll hear none of it! Do you understand? You don't have the upper hand over Bondita! Your push into misery, won't affect me more than her pull out of it! She pulled me out of this already! I won't let you push me back in!" 

He wasn't done though. He added, "And do you know why I say she relies on me? Not because she isn't independent. She is self-sufficient. I made sure of it years ago! She doesn't need me! But... it's her compassion and love for me that she has bound herself to me. And I cannot let that love go in vain. The one I respect so much, the one I look up to so much... I cannot let her down!" 

Sampoorna continued to look at him, her eyes slightly widening now, seeing this state of his. 

"But --" she started. 

"ENOUGH SAMPOORNA!" Anirudh yelled, his teeth gritted now, as the palms of his hands rolled into fists. He brought his volume back down and hissed, "I'm still being polite. If I raise my voice, then you won't be spared today. I have already forgotten that I call you Sampoorna Maa... but this time I may even forget you're a woman! So don't... don't try to come in between me and Bondita. Don't try and push me into a state of misery! I won't spare you!" 

Her eyes widened even more, not expecting this turn -- never with this kind of intensity!

His eyes turned more intense, fiery, and he said in a tone heavy with emotion, "Remember that Anirudh Roy Choudhary has always been willing to sacrifice himself for Bondita... once upon a time, he had to even break his own Bondita to build her... then who are you to me Sampoorna? Do you think I'll think twice if you become a threat?"

Now Sampoorna's heart began to beat harder out of fear. She really didn't think that Anirudh would turn the tables this way. 

"I'll tell you one thing though... one thing alone. That I am guilty of all the things you accused me of. I am suffering through that pain. So y - you don't have to make me more guilty. I'm already the way you want me to be. And maybe I'll forever be guilty... because I deserve that." 

He paused for a moment and finished with, his teeth gritting between each word, "But I won't... I won't let... Bondita... get... affected... by any of this." 

Hearing Anirudh confess that he was suffering from guilt, yet hearing him talk about how he wouldn't let Bondita get affected by it, was shocking Sampoorna. She had seen their relationship, and how Anirudh was an ideal husband, but what he was saying about her sister, hinted that he wasn't just ideal, but was borderline perfect. 

But no... Sampoorna knew better. She knew that even this had something to do with his fitoori agenda. Perhaps he wanted to keep Bondita's mind safe, so that she would still be a barrister, and empower society, while her child suffered at home without their mother's undivided attention in the most crucial years of their life! 

Before she could say another word though, Anirudh had turned around, his eyes widening, as he saw Bondita at the door. 

"B - Bondita?" he gasped. 

Bondita gazed at her Pati Babu from her position in the doorway, her heart hammering hard. 

--

I hope you enjoyed this chapter! It was an intense one for me to write, but I had fun writing it. 

Please leave your thoughts! 

Again, I am in the biggest mood to go on a spree, but I need my readers to catch up. The last spree has left so many behind. Some I see are catching up, but some I am worried have stopped reading. 😔 If too many have stopped, then this story won't take long to end. So if you want this story to go on, please hit star on the chapters, to show me you're reading and interested! 

For now, please get these last 3 parts to 450+ stars for more. And do leave your inline comments on this part! I would love to hear your thoughts here. I'll try my hardest to post another chapter today or tomorrow, if 314 and 315 at least hit 450. 

Oh also, I posted a short video of myself from this afternoon by the water, on my Insta story. I know many of you were requesting to see me (as in my profile pics it hasn't been super clear)... you can see on my IG: lovebarristerbabu and it'll be there for I guess another 15 or so hours. For those of you who saw, what do you think? Did you imagine that I look like this? 🙈

Love you all! ❤️❤️❤️