Sorry my dears, as indicated on my profile announcement, I had a migraine and it still hasn't gone away fully. I still managed to write the chapter despite it.

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-- 

He couldn't process anything. 

Anirudh was shaking, as Thakumaa continued over the phone, "Jamai Babu, a father! Baba!" 

Tears were threatening to spill from his eyes all over again, and he just crashed onto the floor, sliding himself back against the wall, his body shivering and shaking. 

He couldn't even hear Thakumaa anymore. 

He couldn't hear anything. 

Not even his own thoughts. 

All he could do was feel.

With every passing moment, the ache was getting stronger, the pain getting worse. His face was matted with sweat, his hand coated with blood, his body shaking as he pulled his knees up to his chest, tears and sweat mixing all over his face. 

Breathing had become difficult, and being aware of his surroundings had become impossible. 

This... was what... Bondita wanted to tell him... 

This... 

This? 

Somewhere, he was praying that this was a dream. A terrifying moment that would only pass away as a forgotten nightmare. 

When Thakumaa said he would be a father... a Baba... there was a strange warmth in the deepest layers of him, that he could hardly detect... but it was there. 

It was like somewhere deep within, there was a desire to be a father too... but how could he ever indulge in such things, when Bondita was at risk? 

Her future, her body, her life... 

Now was not the time. It was not the age. 

He would never ever want to be a father by putting his Bondita through this mental and physical agony. 

Anirudh brought his hands up to his face, gripping his cheeks hard, trying to wipe away the sweat and tears that had accumulated there, but he just broke down all over again. 

Abortion... Kaka's words had even confirmed that Bondita truly tried to go for one... and if Chandrachur was right, if she really went to the black market for a coat hanger abortion, Anirudh didn't think he would be able to handle this. 

"You hid this from me Bondita?" Anirudh sobbed, his voice heavy, his throat aching, "This?"

He managed to stand up, rage suddenly filling his system. 

He was angry at himself. His own self. 

Just like Sampoorna Maa said, he used her. He used her for pleasure. Why else would he give in? Why else would he not wait, despite her demands? Why else would he not secure her future first? Their intimacy could have come later. Way later.  

Why did they rush? Why did they do this? 

It was his fault. It was all his fault. 

Sampoorna Maa's words kept on playing in his mind... She had snapped, "You won't let her become a good mother, nor will you let her become a good barrister."

The hopes of a bright future, the dreams he had seen, that they had seen together, the future they had planned with such perfection... it felt like everything was crumbling. 

He felt like dying. 

Anirudh managed to stumble to his desk, and he let out an agonized scream of pain through his tears, as he used his hands to push everything off the desk, unable to bear it, unable to handle it. 

He didn't even see the letter on top of his desk, that had For Pati Babu written in an elegant font that belonged to his Bondita. It had also fallen to the ground, along with all the other papers, all the other files, and most of the other solid objects, that were on his desk. 

All that he could think was... 

He ruined Bondita's life. 

He never should have started this. 

He should have always loved her from a distance. He should have never given in. For her bright future, he should have always stayed back. 

He had become selfish. He had wanted his own pleasure. He had wanted his own happiness, and he sacrificed her whole life in the process. 

He was the reason for this. 

He fell to the floor again, his knees coming back to his chest, as the tears flowed down endlessly. He brought his hand up to his cheek and slapped it with the blood that had dried from earlier. 

'It's your fault Anirudh Roy Choudhary. It's your fault you ruined an innocent girl's life. It's your all your fault. Sampoorna Maa is right. You used her for your own instincts. You used her to fulfill your needs and desires. And now you have destroyed everything for her.'

He raised his other hand and slapped his other cheek, not even able to feel the pain. Why couldn't he feel the pain? 

He deserved to feel every pain in the world, so why were his slaps not hard enough.

He started to slap himself over and over again, trying hard to feel the agony that he deserved. 

-- 

In the Das haveli, Thakumaa hung up the phone when Anirudh didn't respond, an anxious feeling in her heart. 

It was good that Anirudh was finally aware of the truth. Bondita would need his support at this time. He would be the only one who could uplift Bondita's mood. 

For the health of the mother and the baby both, this kind of constant sadness and depression was not good. It could cause severe problems. 

Chandrachur came storming into the haveli, not long later, his face bloodied. 

Thakumaa looked at him and gasped, "What happened Jamai Babu?" 

"Your Jamai Babu did this to me Thakumaa!" Chandrachur complained, pointing to the wounds on his face. "See how that Barrister Babu is! Violent! A criminal! He only pretends to be good, but this is his real face!" 

Thakumaa looked at Chandrachur with shock, trying to understand what exactly was going on. 

"Why did he do this to you?" 

"Because I was so worried about Bondita! I thought that I should tell him the truth about how she's hurting herself! That couple acts like they love each other, but you know what happened when I told that Anirudh Roy Choudhary? He beat me like this and didn't believe me. He said he had faith in Bondita!" 

Thakumaa looked at Chandrachur with wide eyes, and suddenly a look of anger appeared on her face. 

"Why did you tell him?" Thakumaa asked angrily. 

"What?" Chandrachur asked, not expecting this reaction from Thakumaa. "I just told you Thakumaa, it was only out of concern for Bondita!" 

"Why are you so concerned about Bondita? I don't understand!" Thakumaa inquired, glaring at him now. 

Chandrachur spluttered, "Sh - she's my wife's sister!" 

Thakumaa continued to penetrate him with her eyes, and said, "If I wanted to tell Jamai Babu, I would have told him myself. Why did you go and interfere in this matter? You should have at least asked me. I'm very disappointed."

"D - disappointed? Thakumaa, that Anirudh Roy Choudhary beat me up! And you're disappointed in me? Look at my wounds! Look at what that moron did!" 

"Enough Jamai Babu! If you give him the news in such a way, of course he won't be able to handle it. I thought that Bondita must have told him, and he called me for confirmation. But you did? If he misbehaves with Bondita now, because of you, then I will forget that you're my son-in-law!" 

Chandrachur let out a horrified gasp when Thakumaa spoke to him like this. He was her Jamai Babu! She was blatantly favouring her other Jamai Babu, that Anirudh Roy Choudhary over him!  

Another horrified gasp also left his lips at the idea that Anirudh would misbehave with Bondita. 

I didn't save her from the black market abortion, only so that the two-faced Barrister Babu can hurt her, Chandrachur thought. Anirudh Roy Choudhary, if you even lay a hand on my Bondita, then I will come and finish you! I will end you! You won't survive! This is Chandrachur Bannerjee's word! 

-- 

Bondita had left the letter in the study room earlier, right on top of her Pati Babu's desk. When he went to his study after work, he should be able to see it first thing, as long as he sat down behind his desk. 

She was pacing back and forth in her room, not sure when he would be returning. She had managed to get some studying done, even though focusing was still quite difficult. Nevertheless, she tried, and it was an improvement from before. 

Bondita had no idea if her Pati Babu returned or not, but she decided to go downstairs to make snacks for everyone. Also, she was beginning to feel a little queasy again, so she should probably eat something. 

As she reached the staircase, she felt not so strong arms lift her up again, and she gasped. 

"Batuk!" she yelled, "Not again!" 

Batuk grinned and he started to walk down the stairs with Bondita in his arms in an unbalanced way, struggling to even walk. 

"What if you fall down the stairs Boudi? What'll happen to my nephew?" Batuk asked, finding it hard to even descend the staircase while carrying her. 

"I am more likely to fall if you do this!" Bondita retorted, furrowing her brows. 

"This Super Chachu will never let his nephew fall!" Batuk proclaimed. "Never ever!" 

Bondita sighed, knowing that there was no use arguing with the overdramatic Batuk who felt like he was some superhero for struggling with her down the staircase! 

"Why're you so heavy?" Batuk groaned. 

Bondita glared at Batuk and answered, "You're just weak, I'm not heavy!" 

"WEAK?" Batuk gasped, feeling offended. "Am not!" 

"Pati Babu doesn't struggle while lifting me," Bondita retorted. 

"Of course not, he's a superhuman for you," Batuk said, rolling his eyes. 

Then a grin appeared on Batuk's lips, as he stated, "Just like I am with my nephew!" 

Bondita rolled her eyes now and said, "If someone sees you doing this, it won't look good." 

"They'll find out about my nephew soon anyways!" Batuk just said. 

"Weren't you so worried about Kakasasurji when I came to sleep in your room the other day?" Bondita pointed out, "If he sees you carrying me then --" 

"I know, he'll throw us in river Ganga!" Batuk groaned, "But what can I do? I will face that punishment to save my nephew!"

He felt like such a self-sacrificing superhero right now! 

Bondita couldn't help the smile that formed on her lips, her heart warming as Batuk nearly finished descending down the stairs. 

"By the way Boudi, if you get sprinkled with gangajaal, will my nephew be purified too my default?" Batuk gasped, "Then maybe Kaka should bathe you in it!" 

Bondita couldn't help but giggle now, feeling light for a moment, like all of her stresses and anxieties just left her. 

"It's not like a baby is tainted Batuk. The world taints them. They start off already pure!" 

That was when Somnath came to the staircase, and his eyes landed on Batuk and Bondita's strange position. 

Batuk got to the bottom of the staircase, a proud smile on his lips, as he placed Bondita down on the floor.

She still had the ghost of a smile on her lips, as she glanced up at Som Dada, who was watching the two of them with an extremely judgmental expression. 

"Som Dada, did you see my heroic act?" Batuk declared proudly. 

Bondita gulped and gave a look to Batuk, indicating not to mention anything about her pregnancy. 

"Batuk, why are you touching a married lady?" was all Somnath asked in response. 

Batuk frowned, and even Bondita did now. 

"She's our Boudi!" Batuk argued. 

"That doesn't mean you can touch Dada's wife," Som said, glaring at his younger brother, "You should know to keep to yourself and stay pure." 

Bondita blinked a couple of times, confused. How did Batuk touching her make him impure? 

Som was thinking, 'First Dada has already tainted himself by being overly close with this village girl, and now Batuk is acting up too. His class is far above Bondita's. Why is he mixing with her so much?'

"But Som Dada, I've been like this with Boudi forever! You've just been so busy with your books that you never noticed! Now just because you finished studying, you're seeing the world! It's not my fault, your head was in space all this time!" Batuk said, feeling irritated. 

Somnath's mouth nearly fell open at the insult.

"My head was not in space! It was in my medical textbooks! And even so, I never saw you being this touchy with Boudi... you were friends from a distance!" Somnath argued, "And now I'm a doctor. Soon, I'll get my certificates, and I'll work at the hospital too. What are you doing with your time Batuk, other than touching girls?" 

"As if you won't touch girls when they need a doctor!" Batuk told him, rolling his eyes, "In fact, if I got good marks, then maybe I would also want to be a doctor for that reason!" 

Somnath gasped so loud, looking horrified by his brother's response. He wanted to be a doctor to touch girls? 

Bondita glared at Batuk and smacked his arm lightly, causing him to look at Bondita and give her a heroic smile. 

"What?" he teased, "People have different reasons to choose their careers! You want to change the world, and I want to change the tensions in women!" 

"I'm going to tell Surabhi," Bondita said quietly, and the colour drained from Batuk's face. 

"No! I was only kidding, God! Don't turn into Mallika," Batuk groaned. "She used to think I was funny, and now she can't even tolerate my amazing sense of humour!" 

Somnath wanted to press his hand to his head, having a headache due to these two immature teenagers. 

Bondita just rolled her eyes and then looked at Som Dada, saying defensively, "Somnath Dada, don't misunderstand Batuk. He has been studying well. And like Batuk said, we have been like this. We're best friends...you've seen us interact many times, yourself! You must have noticed!"

Somnath looked at Bondita and just said irritably, "In this state, you shouldn't get wrapped into all these troubles. You should be comfortable and not fooling around so much." If what he doubted was true anyways. 

State? 

Bondita looked at Somnath with confusion. 

Did he know something?

Batuk looked at Somnath, rolling his eyes, and he said, "Som Dada, that's exactly what I was trying to do! Make her comfortable! She shouldn't go down the stairs on her own!"

Bondita just asked, "What do you mean Som Dada?" 

"Well, I think you might be pregnant. You should get it checked by a doctor," Som informed, "I would tell Dada himself, but he's so moody, I don't know how he'd take it. What if he makes my ears fall off by yelling? So it's better you tell him. He doesn't yell at you, right?" 

Bondita's face turned red, when she realized that Doctor Somnath had decoded that she was pregnant. 

"Oh trust me, he does. He just yells in other ways," Batuk said, rolling his eyes , not even worried that Som had found out about the pregnancy. 

"Huh?" Som asked. 

"You don't want to know about the BIG D," Batuk just said elusively, emphasizing Big D. 

Bondita glared at Batuk, and then turned to Somnath, saying, "Som Dada, I'll definitely take your advice. For now, can you keep it to yourself? This doubt... that you have?" 

"I tried to tell Kaka, but he instead called me a fraud doctor," Som huffed. 

"Fraud?!" Batuk asked, and then he burst into laughter, his belly hurting. "Bloody hell! That's amazing!" 

Som glared at Batuk, as Batuk continued dying of laughter. 

Bondita was just relieved that her Kakasasurji didn't trust Somnath, otherwise things would have been way too difficult for her. 

She hoped that her Pati Babu read the letter soon... it seemed like too many people were finding out, and if it reached him in other ways, it could cause too many problems. 

That was when Kakasasurji himself arrived at the bottom of the staircase, and he asked, "What are the three of you goofing around about?"

"Fraud doctors!" Batuk laughed, still dying. 

"Oh yes, that they are," Trilochan huffed, and shot a fiery gaze at Somnath, causing him to cower slightly. 

Bondita nervously looked away from her Kakasasurji, as his eyes descended on his Bahu. 

"Anirudh seems to be very angry," Kaka pointed out. 

Bondita's eyes shot up into his when she heard this, her heart hammering hard, as she asked, "Pati Babu returned?" 

"Yes, and he was crying. His hand had blood. He threatened me and Sampoorna Bahu to leave him alone. He was throwing things in rage again."

When Bondita heard this, her heart started to bleed with pain. 

He must have read the letter. 

Why didn't he find her like she asked him to? Why was he suffering through the pain alone? 

The idea that he was crying, his hand had blood... he was throwing things... it made her feel chilled to the bone, scared... terrified, but also incredibly worried about him. 

"You should go and see what the problem is," Trilochan said, because that was what a good wife did, "Usually he simmers down with you, but today he might get angry at you too. He's in a very strange state." 

At that moment, Sampoorna appeared too, looking unhappy, and she said firmly, "No. Bondita, don't go to him."

Somnath rolled his eyes and muttered, "This family is too dramatic. I'm going to my room." Then he stormed away from there. 

Batuk on the other hand, was watching everyone, confused as well. 

"Sampoorna Bahu, how can you say she should not go to her husband?" Trilochan demanded. 

"Jethji, you saw his temper. What if he does something to Bondita out of anger?" Sampoorna demanded. 

"Then that's his right!" Trilochan said, furrowing his brows, although his heart ached too at the possibility of Anirudh raising his hand on Bondita. 

Bondita just watched this conversation, shell-shocked. 

She wanted to run to her Pati Babu, and ignore what everyone was saying... but since they were just with him, then maybe, just maybe they could give her some context about what his state was like. 

Batuk was just wondering why Sampoorna Maa and Kaka thought that his Big D would hit Boudi.

Maybe with love, like a spank in their romantic sessions. That was all! 

Otherwise his Big D was too protective of his Boudi to lay a hand on her! How did they not realize this? 

"Jethji, forgive me. It might be a husband's right to hit his wife, but I can't see my sister go through that. He has already crossed every limit, to give her mental torture and agony," Sampoorna said harshly. 

Trilochan turned to glare at Sampoorna when she said this. 

"Mental torture? Agony? What are you rambling about Sampoorna Bahu? You don't understand their relationship! Bahu sees him as God. It's better you focus on your own relationship!" 

Sampoorna took a deep breath and said, "The Anirudh who wanted to make Bondita a barrister --" 

Bondita looked from Sampoorna to Kaka before she interrupted, ignoring all their accusations against her Pati Babu, because she was worried about a much bigger thing right now, "Please, tell me, what happened to Pati Babu?" 

"I don't know, he got into a fight with someone," Kaka informed, "I guess some doctors. They had come to give some despicable news. Those frauds! And his hand is still bleeding. He didn't even apply the haldi that Sampoorna Bahu tried to apply for him." 

"His hand is bleeding..." Bondita repeated, her heart hurting. 

"Bondita, don't go," Sampoorna warned, "I know how much you respect him, but right now, he can do anything. Wait for him to calm down first." 

"N - no..." Bondita refused, shaking her head, her whole body shivering from the insides. 

"But what happened to Big D?" Batuk just asked, getting concerned too. "Why is his hand bleeding? Why will he do anything?"

Did he read Boudi's letter?

"Batuk, you... don't worry... I'll... I'll handle him," Bondita said to Batuk, looking at him with fearful eyes. 

"No, let me come with you. I'll explain to him --" Batuk started, sounding concerned. 

"No need Batuk!" Kaka ordered, "Only Bahu can calm Anirudh down." 

"Kaka, what if the matter is really bad?" Batuk asked, getting very worried. 

"Then Bahu can face the wrath! She will be the only one who can handle his fire. You won't be able to!" 

"That's what I'm saying Jethji, I don't want her to be tortured," Sampoorna begged, "Please Jethji. Anirudh is in a different state. He's processing some things. And by the time Bondita gets there, he would have already processed it, and he will only be getting angrier. The purpose of his whole life has gone down the drain so how do you think he will be able to control himself --" 

"The purpose of his whole life? Over some fraudulent doctors? Sampoorna Bahu, do you even hear yourself?" Kaka asked, shaking his head slowly. 

"It's not over some doctors!" Sampoorna started. 

"Sampoorna Didi... please..." Bondita begged, silently pleading with her not to tell Kakasasurji anything. 

Sampoorna turned to look at Bondita and she said, "Bondita, I was with him just now. He was in denial over the whole thing. He didn't want to believe it. But I tried... to speak on your behalf. I tried Bondita." 

She had convinced Anirudh that he was the reason that this all happened. Because he couldn't keep his instincts under control. He couldn't keep his need for pleasure to himself, and instead subjected Bondita to it, and now the result was that she was pregnant. Sampoorna had also urged him to give up their dreams, for the sake of Bondita. To not pressure her to become a mother and a barrister. 

Bondita didn't know of any of this. If Sampoorna Didi spoke on her behalf, she assumed that Sampoorna Didi had only spoken nice things. She assumed that Sampoorna Didi tried to take his pain away, just like she would. She would have never expected for Sampoorna Didi to say the things she had said to her Pati Babu. 

The things that made the insecurities inside of him rise to such a level, that perhaps it would be difficult to wash away now. 

Bondita had tears in her eyes now -- uncontrollable tears. If Sampoorna Didi spoke to him, and if he was still behaving this way... then the situation was very bad. 

She had known it. 

She knew that he was going to be a living corpse. And now he would. She knew all along! This was why she didn't want him to find out in the first place. This was why she tried very hard to undo the mistakes. 

For his sake, she tried to abort her own fetus. For his sake, she tried to suffer all the pains alone. 

And now the idea that he was suffering, that he was going through agony, was killing her the most. 

Now it was real. Too real. 

"Boudi..." Batuk said, sounding concerned, as he watched her expression. "Let me go and try..." 

"No Batuk," Bondita said, tears falling down her cheeks, "I'll... go. I have to t - try... e - even if... it doesn't work... I can at least... t... try... right?" 

Kaka was confused by all these double meaning talks. It seemed like everyone was in on something except him! 

"Bondita, no! What if he hurts you?" Sampoorna demanded. 

"Hurt?" Bondita asked, her eyes lifeless now, as she looked at her Sampoorna Didi. "Sampoorna Didi, he has full rights to hurt me. I deserve it." 

"He won't hurt Boudi!" Batuk groaned, "Why are you talking about such things Sampoorna Maa!" 

Bondita smiled at Batuk, trying to reassure him, through her lifeless eyes and she just whispered, "Batuk, he won't hurt me. You're right. Because he's going to die himself instead." 

Sampoorna shook her head and said, "Bondita, stop it! This endless respect that you have for him, will hurt you!" 

"I accept all the hurt then. All his pain. But he won't inflict it on me Sampoorna Didi. He never has... he never will... he will choose to suffer in silence... just like I did... because that's how he is," she managed to say, her lifeless eyes being coated with fresh tears, "He loves me too much... way too much... m - more than I even deserve. So don't worry Sampoorna Didi... nothing will happen to your sister..." 

Batuk looked at his Boudi, pain in his own eyes. 

What the hell was happening? Why was this so sad? 

Trilochan asked, sounding concerned too now, "Bahu... why are you speaking like this... what happened exactly?" 

"Don't worry... I'll go and talk to him... I'll try... that's all I can do... it's to try..." 

Then without another word, she started to lifelessly walk towards the study, as Sampoorna Maa, Kaka, and Batuk, all watched her go... pain in all of their eyes, for different reasons. But the same concern. 

The study door was closed when she got there. 

Bondita pressed her face to the door, trying to compose herself for a moment, but the tears just weren't stopping. 

He had read the letter... and it hadn't worked. 

How foolish must she be to think that the letter could ease him a little bit? Nothing could ease him, when this had been about their dreams, and about her life. The life of the one he loved the most. 

She tried hard not to shake, she tried hard to compose herself, to keep the fearful feeling in her body, the pain at rest so that he wouldn't see her broken... but she couldn't. It was about her Pati Babu, how could she? 

She couldn't hide this anymore. Her eyes were swollen, her heart feeling like it had slashes throughout it, the pores in her body all chilled and frightened. 

Somehow, her quivering hand managed to knock three times on the door.

And then she opened the door and entered, scared out of her wits, but brave enough to face her biggest fears, the fear of seeing him this way... just for his sake. 

It always had been for his sake. 

Anirudh looked up from his position on the floor, his eyes bloodshot, his whole body aching, his cheeks stinging and red from the torture he had inflicted upon himself. 

Even now when she walked in... she looked like an angel. 

The ethereal angel of his dreams. 

Perhaps, she should have just stayed there... in his dreams, all along, instead of him making her his reality, and binding her to him in a closeness that had such lethal consequences. 

Still, as his eyes landed on her, the beautiful angel, the ethereal Goddess, he still couldn't stop the way his heart fluttered, the way his body lit up with a faint glimmer of hope just with her mere presence. 

His Hope, His Bondita. 

Except, he should have never made her His in the way that he had.  

Not His Bondita... just Bondita. 

She should have always just been Bondita. 

-- 

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

This is all I have to say. 

I don't have it in me to say much. I cried a lot while writing this. 

I included some light moments in between. I hope they gave you some relief. 

Do let me know what you thought about the family dynamics! 

Any parts that made you smile or laugh?

And also anything that stood out to you?

What was your first thought when you read the title? 

Please leave your thoughts and comments. 

And remember to vote. 

I love you all very much. ❤️