I wanted to
I thought about it
About a million times

And yet I listened to the voice
That told me not to
As if it was a crime 

As if reaching out
makes me weak
As if needing
Makes me desperate
As if hurting
Makes me broken

I think about all the things I haven't done
And suddenly
You feel far away

Like miles
Like oceans
Like galaxies
Away

I told you about the dreams I had
I used lots of colors
Made my heart sing
Made the world look small in its presence

And all you said in return
Was to make sure
I had a backup plan

As if all that I loved
And all that I was
Could never be enough

Something tells me
I'd feel a lot less lonely
If I didn't have to hang around myself
All the time

Trying to be all these things at once
Makes me feel like nothing at all

I'm wrapped in sheets
Engulfed in darkness
Drowning in cotton

Consumed with the thought
That maybe by now
I've been forgotten

Empty promises
To myself
Stare at me like
Running hourglasses

No matter how hard I try
I can't convince myself
The glass is half full

Why do
Praise
Gratification
& compliments
Fall through my heart
Like the hole of a pocket

While
Disappointed
Abandonment
& judgment
Weigh heavy
Like a tombstone

Fuck you
You gorgeous demon
For making
Everything I wanted
Sparkle and shine

The joke is getting old
And I know you well enough to know
The pot at the end of your rainbow
Is nothing but fool's gold

Forget me,
Forget me not
I don't think a little
Is asking for a lot.