*Sighs* Okay. I've never done anything like this, before. This is sort of going to be a poem/rant about things going on around me and in my head, so...just bear with me, okay? Okay.
Thank you 😌.

-X

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I swear. In my 16 years of existence, I have never felt so misunderstood and just plain...missing.

I'm missing some things, within. The things that are there, I don't want.

I want to be as pure as (humanly) possible, but I feel bad because I'm eating unhealthy poison daily not being true to what I claim to be.

I don't know what I am.

Another thing: where in the universe has my mind gone? I mean, it's gone. It's not the same, anymore. My head is just nothing but fog.

I can't think properly, anymore.
I store a thought in my head. The next day (or next minute) it's gone. It just vanishes.
I can remember some things, but I forget important things.
I end up looking really stupid, as if I'm not trying hard enough, because I can remember some things...but not everything.

God forbid if I feel under pressure or under stress. I say to myself:

"Okay, X. You need to remember. No more mistakes, right now. You don't need to go blank. You don't need to drop anything or do anything clumsy. Just focus."

And what happens?

I can't think. My mind is frozen. The only thing I still feel is the pressure. The stress. Just over something small. A matter as small as time.

What happened to me? I was never like this.

Why does everyone feel the need to view me as untrustworthy?

You know you can't trust me,but you haven't tried, yet.

Yet...you can trust the adults of the dumb that you chose to latch on to.

But, I'm guessing that if you trust me,

what you see is what you'll receive from me.

I have better to offer...I just don't know what happened.

My mind is gone.

I feel like I am a mental slave of old routine and stale problems that water my tired garden, excessively.

There was more, but I've forgotten what else I wanted to write about.

I'm stuck. I can't think about it.

It's not coming to me.