I swear to you,

I don't have to see you.

I tried to be a good ol' Christian,

loving and forgiving.

Even if I offer my forgiveness sugar in a spoon,

you take your hand and knock it out of my grasp.

You know what?

Don't eat it.

Don't take it.

I don't know why I listened to the naive part of my heart and forgave you so many times.

I can't be a friend to you if you don't let me.

You soak my head in the river of disappointment every time.

We were doing just fine,
taking things day by day.

I tried to be more open-minded and understanding.

I'm spitting on that, right now.

Forget it.

_____________________

Maybe...it was me.

I was trying too hard.

That has always been my problem -

I try too hard and I scare people away.

Maybe a zipper will work...a zipper for my mouth.

Maybe a lock and chain will work.

A lock and chain for my heart, so no more trial and error can stab me where it hurts the most.