“My biggest fear is
That eventually
You will see me
The way I see myself ”

Two days earlier

*** Fourth POV ***

I had nothing better to do that evening, so I went for a walk outside the Institute.  We don't usually live here permanently, we also have our own houses or apartments in the non-magical world.  I also have a small apartment close to my agency that I work for.  I am an actor purely as a hobby, although I have always dreamed of becoming a racing driver.  Saying goodbye to this dream was really painful for me, but I quickly realized that life rarely gives us what we want or even need.  We don't get opportunities that could help us fulfill our dreams.  It's true that my cousin, P'First Kanaphan, says that you have to create your own opportunities.

Well... I don't know how I could become a racing driver without money and family support.

I don't have parents, I don't even know, I don't remember what they were like.  Me and Tu live in a foster family.  Even though we are both adults, Tu still helps our adoptive parents.

And that's what I was thinking about that evening as I leisurely strolled through the streets of Bangkok.  Even though it was a huge city, I knew my neighborhood perfectly.  Professor Earth secretly gave me a stele with which, in case of danger, I could draw the appropriate rune on my hand to summon someone from the Institute to help.  P'Earth forbade me to tell anyone about this.  This was a clear violation of the rules, students who had not undergone the ceremony of awarding runes and being officially accepted into the Order of the Knights of Light had no right to use the stele.

I smiled, glad that none of my friends saw me.  I looked around and then I saw him. Usually I don't smile, especially when someone could see me. That's how I've been taught: not laugh, not cry, pretend to always agree with whatever others say, respect elders even these who don't deserve it just because they're older than you... Yeah, but it didn't bother me too much. It costs nothing to be nice.

I wasn't particularly looking out for him, I didn't really care about him, and I ignored my friends' stupid jokes, but it was hard not to notice him.  He is tall, often taller than most ordinary people, and he has this aura around him that, despite his mean nature, attracts people to him.  I won't be surprised if, by some twist of fate, the Knights of Light end up voting for him.  He is rude, yes, but I know he would fight for his people and defend them.

I didn't hesitate too long and followed him, wondering where he was going in such a hurry.

Gemini walking in front of me suddenly stopped and looked around.  I turned my back so he wouldn't see me, and I guess it worked, because when I looked at him again a moment later, he was still walking forward.

A few minutes later we arrived.  When I realized where Gem had led me (due to my own stupidity and curiosity), I wanted to turn back, but I was already standing in a line of young people eager to get inside the building.

Gemini had already passed through the gate, greeting the security guard, and I had no choice but to blend in with the crowd and continue to watch him.  Fortunately, I was wearing my favorite, comfortable outfit, a white T-shirt with some print and dark jeans with holes, as well as an earring with a snake only in my right ear and a silver chain with a pendant made of amber, in which a small insect had been sunk thousands of years ago.

Apparently I somehow fit in with the people who frequented this place, because the black-suited security guard just glanced at me and let me in without a word.

When I crossed the threshold, it turned out that this place must have been one of those more expensive bars where you can drink good drinks, dance with strangers, or even...

No, I didn't even want to think about that.

Finding Norawit wasn't difficult.

He was sitting comfortably on a large, dark blue plush sofa, sipping a drink until a moment later, when a woman with dyed blonde hair joined him and started touching him in a way that I didn't like at all.  I knew from the look on Gemini's face that he must have felt just as terrible about this, and the drink he was sipping was probably intended to help him not feel anything.

I remembered Phuwin's story.

Gemini never had it easy, and his arrogance and coldness were his defense shields.  And yet, as I looked at him from a safe distance, he seemed much more fragile and vulnerable.  Here he couldn't oppose anyone.  Here he was just a pawn.  Apparently, living in the non-magical world wasn't serving him well.

I wanted to go up to him, I wanted to grab his hand and lead him out of here and ask him what the hell he was doing?

I didn't do that.  I lacked courage.  As usual.  Instead, I could only watch him from a distance.

At one point someone sat down next to me.  She was a girl not much older than me, with curly, dyed red hair tied in a high bun, bright, eye-catching makeup, and an outfit that definitely fit the place.

“Hi young one!”  She greeted me happily.  “I guess this is your first time here because I don't remember you.”

“Oh.  Yes, it's my first time here” I admitted truthfully.  There was no point in lying, although I was a good actor, but I was afraid that I could quickly alienate her by lying, and I didn't want that.  She seemed like a nice girl.

“Then welcome to our humble home.” She laughed cheerfully, turned to the bartender and ordered a drink whose name I can't recall, and then when the drink was ready, she served it to me.  “I'm Sammy and you are...?”

“My name is Nattawat, but everyone calls me Fourth, although I don't actually know the origins of this nickname,” I replied and felt stupid.  Why did I even say something like that?  It doesn't really matter, does it?  However, Sammy turned out to be a very nice, intelligent and entertaining girl, and she didn't blame me.

“Well, let's raise a toast to our new acquaintance,” Sammy raised her glass with some blue drink in the air, so I did the same.  Glass clinked against glass and we drank to our health.

“Do you come here often?”  I dared to ask.

“Hmmm... How should I put this... I'm here every day.  My cousin, Boun, owns this place.  It's a pity he had to go on business today, otherwise you would have met him.”

Suddenly I heard a familiar voice from near the small stage.  I turned towards it and exclaimed in surprise.

“NuNew here?!”

I knew that NuNew had to start his career somewhere, but we've never talked about it before.  NuNew wasn't particularly close to me, he was rather friends with Norawit.  Meanwhile, I heard and saw him clearly.  He was here, standing on the stage, and behind him two neon signs were glowing, one pink with the word Kirin, the other purple with the word... GEMINI?!

“GEMINI?!”

“That's the name of our bar,” Sammy explained with a smile.  I had the impression that she was always smiling.  She looked to me like a strong, brave, young woman who is not afraid of challenges and who always takes life by the horns.

“Sorry.  This surprised me because I have a friend whose name is Gemini.”  I said and she immediately understood what I meant.

“You mean that handsome guy that girls are always attracted to?  The one who is currently sitting on the couch near us?”  Sammy jerked her chin in the direction where I looked from time to time.  I nodded.  I couldn't lie.

“Actually, I came here after him.  I'm worried about him”. While I confessed that I was probably under the influence of alcohol, and when I looked at my glass, I saw that it was empty.  When did I empty it?  It didn't register in my memory.  Sammy asked for more drinks for us.  I felt my head starting to buzz.  The music became happier and the colors brighter.

“It's good to know that Gemini has a friend like you.  You know?  He is very lonely and withdrawn.  It's no wonder, he's a model and they don't have an easy life.  Many people think that if someone is beautiful or handsome, their life is easier.  Bullshit and Gemi is the best example of it.  Look at him, does he look happy to you?”

I looked and again my heart felt like it broke into a thousand pieces.

Gemini was looking straight at me, no doubt he noticed me.  However, there was no aggression or malice typical of him in his eyes.  Instead, I saw what I might even call a cry for help.

Gemini, the brave, mean, selfish and narcissistic type who repels everyone with his coldness, has disappeared.  There was only a small, scared kid sitting a few meters away from me, and it dawned on me that Gem must have been in a lot of pain.  The blonde woman next to him was trying to give him her drink.  He pushed it away with his hand.  He must have been very drunk, because when he stood up, he swayed dangerously and I thought he was going to fall, but luckily that didn't happen.

Norawit walked rather unsteadily towards me, grabbed me by the waist and lifted me up, making me get up from the high stool at the bar where Sammy and I were sitting.

“Excuse me, ladies, but I already have company for tonight,” he said loudly, and then he leaned over me and whispered in my ear: “Cooperate with me, or I will report to the boss where your legs have taken you.”

The smell of alcohol was so strong that under other circumstances it would probably have turned me off, but this time I was a bit tipsy too.  I smiled at him as sweetly as I could and kissed his neck (I must admit, it was pretty cool but where the hell did I get this idea from?!).

“Hi Gem, I was looking for you,” I replied just as loudly.  The blonde grimaced.  She looked pissed, and for some reason it made me laugh.  Norawit smiled triumphantly, as if he had won something really important.  I guess he completely forgot who we are to each other.  And we are rivals, he and I are each other's biggest enemies at the Institute.  And yet here Gemini embraced me so tightly and pulled me to him as if I were his property.  But why the hell did it feel so good?!

“Hello, troublemaker, it's nice to finally see you,” He addressed me so tenderly that shivers ran down my body.  I was completely confused.  Sammy pushed us out of the blonde girl's sight, leading us outside the building.

“Fourth, take care of Gemini for me, okay?  Will you do it for me?  Please?  I know we've known each other for a very short time, but I feel that you are important to Gem.  Swear to me that you will take care of him.”

I felt like telling her the truth, I knew I should be honest with her.  She was such a good soul who was just worried about her friend, and I lied to her so badly.  And I thought I couldn't lie.  Well, apparently I can... I was furious with myself for putting myself in such a situation, and at the same time I remembered that P'Tay had forbidden us from revealing ourselves to Non-Magic, and Sammy was apparently a Non-Magical.

I just sighed heavily, raised my hand in the air and I promised it to her.

Gem, as if he wasn't himself, hugged me.

“Take me home, Dunkie.”

So he took me for his brother... Great.

“Gem, it's me, Fourth, not Dunk,” I tried to correct, but he didn't listen to me.

“Go home!”  He screamed and started climbing on my back.  Reluctantly, I crouched down to make it easier for him.  I only sadly thought that my kind heart would one day lead to my own loss.

“Good luck boys!”  Sammy said goodbye to us, and with great difficulty and a weight on my back, I started walking forward.  I didn't know where Gemini lived in the non-magical world, so I wanted to take him to the Institute, but the problem was that we were quite far from there.  I had only one option left: my own house, or rather an apartment I rented.

As I was reaching for my phone, I felt another object in my pants pocket.  Stele.  Yeah!  I took out the stele and used it to conjure a passage rune.  It was the shortest and easiest route to the Institute, a way in which we could open a portal to our unit anywhere in the world. P'Earth for sure would be mad at me but at this point I didn't care anymore.

It was already very late, and the only person walking in the corridor on our floor was Dr. Mixxiw, who was on duty that night and was on guard, ensuring the safety of the remaining peacefully sleeping Knights of Light candidates.

“Good evening P'Mix”, I greeted politely.

P'Mix didn't seem surprised by our late arrival.

“Go straight to bed, boys, before P'Off sees you.”  He warned us.  Gemini didn't pay attention to it, he fell asleep with his head on my shoulder.  It was quite heavy.

“Thanks, doctor,” I replied quietly and quickly walked towards our assigned apartment.  I opened the door with some difficulty and then finally released myself, throwing Gem onto his bed.  Gem immediately rolled over onto his stomach and fell asleep.  He must have drank a lot of alcohol.

I sat on the floor next to his bed and started looking at him.

When he slept, he no longer looked like a mean asshole, he was much more normal.  In addition, Phuwin's words were beginning to take on a very real shape.

“What kind of hell did you go through to turn into such a bastard?”  I asked him quietly, tracing the outline of his face with my finger.  He was really handsome, but I didn't realize until now that his handsomeness was also his curse.

😭🤩😂💔🥰🤫💙😖🇵🇱

Taaadaaaaam!

New chapter!

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I wonder if you could come on IG and like my comment? So Gem would know that we are very serious about him, Fourth and other GMMTV actors having concert in Poland.