“Sometimes I just wish
To not see, not remember, not feel anything.
Just let the days pass until the day of death.
With no joy but also no pain.
I wish this was possible”.

After a long day, an even longer evening came. This time, Gemini didn't care at all about how he looked. He didn't even look at his reflection in the mirror as he left the room to head to his favorite bar. He left Fourth under the relatively safe supervision of Phuwin and Dunk, who would later be replaced by Chokun and Aungpao. Doctor WanDee went to the office of his boss, P'Off, to tell him everything. Doctor Jimmy, just in case, checked Fourth's body temperature twice, who was hooked up to devices that Gemini didn't even know how to use. One of them registered the steady and much calmer heartbeat of the young Knights of Light Academy adept.

Fourth was sleeping soundly after Doctor Jimmy gave him a potion of peaceful sleep.

“Sleep is the best medicine for him now, don't worry, we will do everything we can to help you”, P'Jimmy tried to comfort the worried Gemini.

Norawit hoped it would be a little easier if he told someone. Someone who wouldn't use it against him. And Gemini only knew two other people like that: P'Boun and P'Sammy.

«I'll go there, I need to tell this to someone who doesn't know Fourth better than they know me, who won't take his side and won't judge me and can tell me something useful but what if...? Why is this so freaking difficult?! As if my life wasn't already complicated! I didn't need this! Fuck, how could I be so stupid and so naive? This never happened to me before, never! I swear I'm the one who is made to be a king but now I feel that if they choose me, I'll fail and disappoint them. And Fourth can be pregnant... What if...? My dreams... Maybe my dreams are about this? What if in that other life when Evie died we did or said something and now Evie will come back us our daughter again? If that's the case I must protect them. Last time Evie died, I won't let this happen again, I can't let this happen again!»

He thought as he was walking towards his friends' bar.

An hour later, Gem didn't feel any better.

“Come on, Sammy, you know I'm not like that”. He tried to explain but his friend knew better. As always. He was tired of this. He wanted someone to understand him, someone who will be by his side and he believed that Sammy can be that person. Yet, when he told his story, he was meet with bitter disappointment.

“Seriously? But think about it. If you didn't want to fuck him, you wouldn't have. This is simple. You wanted to, you can't deny it, I know you, you're a stubborn ass, if you say 'no' it means 'no' and that's it, and you did it, we have it in black and white”.

Sammy earned a murderous look for that statement. Gemini thought that at this moment he wanted to kill Sammy. It didn't matter to him anymore that she was one of the closest friends, what she said didn't fit to what he wanted to hear.

“Okay, okay, I'll say no more, but let me ask you one last question”.

“Ask, I guess I don’t have much left to lose anyway. In any case, I lost my self-respect a long time ago. Feel free to ask.”

Gemini was playing with the almost empty glass of alcohol. The tea-colored liquid rippled as he moved the glass, and he stared at the phenomenon, fascinated. He had come here to escape from his problems, from his thoughts and memories, but they caught up with him even here. He felt an unbearable weight on his heart, which did not decrease with each subsequent sip of alcohol or sentence he uttered.

“Does this mean that... you know... Fourth will... Fourth will have a child?”

“We don’t know that. It’s too early. Doctor WanDee says that the earliest we will know is in about two weeks, I have to wait long fucking two weeks! It's gonna kill me before I kill you for what you said before.”

“Oh fuck, so it’s possible?” Sammy’s eyes lit up, as if it was very exciting news.

He didn’t answer. He drank the remaining alcohol in the glass in one go. He felt uncomfortable. Suddenly his world turned upside down.  Everything changed, his plans went to hell. His promise to himself that he would stay away from Fourth and hate him in order to protect him was broken.

“I lost, P'Sammy. I hate losing, you know? It's a shitty feeling. He's a Ferrari fan, not that shitty Alpine, but still... I let myself be led astray like some stupid greenhorn, like a rookie in Formula 1 and on top of that I couldn't protect the person I was entrusted with, maybe everyone is right and someone like me shouldn't be king...”

“Gem... What if I told you it wasn't your fault?”

“I won't believe it. I was the one who insisted on him going with me. Gasly wanted me, I shouldn't have let Nattawat go with me. And I shouldn't have gotten drunk.”

“You know you shouldn't get drunk and you still drink?”

“What else can I do? I drink to forget, but the more I drink, the more pain I feel. It doesn't help at all. And what if Fourth is pregnant? And what if that's... No... I don't want to think about it! It's just... The problem is, I can't stop thinking about it!”

Gemini began pulling at his own hair. Gemini hit his head hard on the table, worrying P'Sammy. He lifted his head, looked at his friend, his vision was very blurry. P'Boun, standing behind the bar, shook his thick, dyed blond hair and decided to approach them.

"Sis, what's wrong?"

“Fourth might be pregnant, and Gem might or might not be the father although he doesn't want it,” Sammy blurted out without thinking. That was just how she was: what was in her heart was on her tongue, always painfully honest, full of energy, entertaining and cheerful. Her cheerfulness was her personal way of dealing with problems. Gem resented her for that: he didn’t want to share this information with the whole world, and saying something like that to Sammy meant that all the regulars at the bar would know about it tomorrow. How could he forgot that P'Sammy had a lot of friends and she could tell this to everyone.

«My life just ended and Gasly it the one to blame, I knew Formula 1 is bad, I knew...» Gemini thought dramatically. He sighed heavily.

On the stage set up in the corner of the room, NuNew was just finishing his performance, for which he had been rewarded with thunderous applause. This was what NuNew liked the most: performing under the pseudonym Kirin. He put his guitar aside on a special stand, thanked his audience and left the stage. He quickly spotted Gemini and decided to go over to say hello, unaware that Norawit had stopped considering him his friend.

NuNew, smiling and cheerful, approached them. He was so happy about his new music that he couldn't wait to share it with Gemini. NuNew and Gemini in the Unit very quite close friends, although NuNew was in different class than Gemini and most of the group. NuNew was close to graduate and he already had some runes but not all of them yet. One of them was hidden under the black and red shirt he was wearing.

“Hi Gemini!  How nice of you to drop by! I've just shown the audience my new song and you don't even know how happy I am that you could listen to it! It's called "Magic Moment". Do you like it?”

Gemini got up from his stool furiously, quickly approached the vocalist, grabbed him by the clothes and punched him in the face. The blow was accurate and painful. Chawarin looked at Norawit with fear and resentment.

“Are you crazy?!”he yelled, touching his bleeding lip with his hand.

“It's your fault, you bloody idiot! It's because of you! You're such a bloody moron! Fucking musician, damn you! Did nobody taught you how to think?!”

“But what did I do to you?!”

“DON'T YOU KNOW?! OR ARE YOU PRETENDING TO BE NAIVE?! COME ON, DAMN, THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU SHOULD HAVE DONE WHEN A STRANGER OFFERED YOU A FREE PET?!” Gemini's eyes were shooting lightning towards NuNew, who was close to tears. Boun grabbed Gem from behind and began gently but firmly pulling him away from his opponent. The argument immediately caught the attention of the other guests in the bar. Sammy took NuNew by the hand and began to lead him out to the back. Boun wordlessly understood what was going on and led Gemini out as well.

Behind the door was a small room that served as a kitchen. Boun asked all of his employees to leave, giving them a moment of privacy.

“Gemini, why did you hit NuNew?” P'Boun asked, clearly bewildered.

“He deserved it”.

“Can you be more specific? How did he deserve it?”

Gemini, feeling the strong influence of alcohol, sat down with a loud slap on the stairs that led to the rooms where Sammy and Boun lived. The room was dark and gloomy, lit only by weak bulbs. The gray floor added an aura of heavy loneliness to the gloomy atmosphere.

“He brought a griffon cub to the Institute, about whose origins he knew little. But that was only the beginning. He didn't tell anyone the truth about where he got the animal. And if he did, maybe P'Mixxiw would check it out and find out that the animal had a special chip sewn under its skin, which sent information to Pierre Gasly himself”.

“Gasly? Wait... Aren't you talking about that Formula 1 driver? The muscular handsome guy who dyed his hair blond?”

“Yeah, that's him. Do you have something on him?”

“That remains to be seen. What I do know is that he was in our bar yesterday, ordered a fertility elixir and a passion potion. He was with his boyfriend, so we didn't ask too many questions, we figured they wanted it for themselves,” P'Boun explained, looking Gemini in the eye bravely but sadly. He didn't know yet, how these potions were used, he didn't hear Gem's talk with Sammy.

Gemini swallowed hard, feeling a growing lump in his throat. His friends, or rather the people he had considered trustworthy, had let him down. They had caused his defeat, whether intentionally or not, it didn't matter anymore.  There was only one question in his head: why?

“So you just sold it to them?”

“Yeah, there was no point in not trusting them. They were hugging each other, they kissed each other on the cheeks, held hands, flirted with each other in every possible way. I believed they were in love. The tall one said they wanted a child and that the shorter one, he called him Yukino, was a hybrid. They looked credible. The shorter one quickly confirmed it”.

“You dumb idiot! Did you forget that fertility potion is illegal?! How could you sell it?!”

“You ask as if you yourself weren't part of the world full of dark secrets” P'Boun just shrugged. It wasn't that important to him, he had been selling various substances illegally for a long time, and people from the Knights of Light Institute were often his clients themselves. How was he supposed to know what the elixirs he sold would be used for?

NuNew listened to this in silence, his fingers picking at a patch of skin on his exposed forearm. He didn't understand much of it. Gemini glanced at him briefly, but saw nothing negative in the artist's figure. NuNew was sitting almost completely straight in a chair at one of the kitchen counters, so that Gem could see mostly his side. Nu tilted his head to the side, as if to hear better. Gemini made a strange face, and then said something loudly that none of the people in the room expected to hear.

“I'm sorry. P'Nu, please, forgive this stupid boy Norawit, I didn't think. I thought it was your fault but turns out it's not. Honestly if I saw cute animal I'd probably took care of it too just like you did. I'm sorry”.

“Young master Gemini Norawit is apologizing to someone? The world is ending!” P'Sammy playfully wrung her hands, then raised them up and added, “Thank you great angels that our friend has some feelings after all.”

“It's ok, Gemini, really, it's nothing, but I think I deserve some explanation?”

“Yes, you do. I'll tell you in our way home. I think it's the time to come back. Good night P'Sammy, bye bye P'Boun”.

“Bye! Take care of yourself and your wife!”

“HE IS NOT MY WIFE”.

“Yes, sure, famous last words” P'Sammy laughed and Gemini really wanted to be mad at her but he couldn't do it, he just couldn't be mad at his friend. After all it was her who always took care of him after...

«No, Norawit, don't think about it, right now you have more important things to worry about, leave your past behind, you can't change it anyways» He heard the same voice again.

Gemini wasn't sure if he could trust NuNew at all, but he wasn't completely sober yet and maybe this was the only reason why he had told everything. He felt as if he had nothing more to lose.

“FOURTH CAN GET PREGNANT?!?!” NuNew yelled at the top of his lungs surprised and looked at Gemini with big eyes.

“Wait... You didn't know?”

“Of course I didn't know! There are some legends about hybrids that are able to get pregnant even when they're men but it doesn't happen very often, the possibility is very low, also the kid that will be born of it, can be sick. P'Jimmy told me that many kids that were born in this way that they had two dads, they had certain disabilities such as being deaf, blind, never learning to speak or walk, having damaged spines or being born with genetic defects, also the pregnancy in this case can be painful and dangerous”.

“Fuck it!” Gemini kicked some little stone that he found on his way.

“Tell me, but honestly, who was on top?”

“W-what? W-why do you want to know that?” Just this little question brought back again the memories of that night, every touch, every time Fourth moaned or screamed his name, every kiss...

“This is important. It can help me figure out who is dad. So you or... or the other guy?”, NuNew felt that it wasn't safe to say that name. He for sure didn't wanted to get slapped on the face once again.

Gemini, blushing furiously again, tried to remember and...

“Holy freaking chicken nuggets... I don't remember Gasly doing anything more than what he did at the beginning! To be honest I only remember me and Fourth...”

“Don't tell me...!”

“Yeah... It seems it was a trap! Do you remember what P'Boun said he sold them? Passion potion! So I guess they made me drink the passion potion and Fourth drank fertility potion! And then Gasly left us alone and we didn't notice because our minds went blank! I will kill him, I promise I will kill this fucking bastard! Then I will cut off and hang up his balls do everyone can see that he has no balls!”

“Let's better not do that”.

“Why?”

“Because you can get sentenced for this and trust me, if this case will be brought up to our Highest Court, Gasly will get punished for it anyways. We just have to find some proofs. I will help you. But now shhhhhh, we arrived”.

NuNew said it as they stood in front of old building that looked like abandoned and haunted for many years. They both agreed to meet next morning in Gem's room and then went separately. For some reason Gemini felt that he doesn't want anyone to see him next to NuNew. He had some unclear suspicions.

Instead of dutifully returning to his own apartment, now empty without Fourth, he went to the shooting range to let out all his anger by shooting at a target. As he shot, he imagined that the target in front of him was Pierre Gasly and Yuki Tsunoda. He couldn't stop thinking about what NuNew had told him. Pregnancy could be painful and dangerous for Fourth, and the child could be born weak, sick, or with genetic defects. Only now did he understand why the fertility elixir had been banned. The remnants of alcohol were still coursing through his veins. He mentally promised himself that he would make sure Gasly suffered as much as he was now.

☀️🤩❤️👀💖💔😭🥵🤭

I refuse to believe that My Love Mix Up is over!!! No, for me it's not, please, give me like 100 more episodes?!!!!!! Please!!!!

Ok, but about this fanfiction... How it is do far?

Honestly I don't have much time recently still so updating takes me so long.

And...

Do you like their new songs?! I'm so in love, especially with Gem's song, Someone Like Me.

Have a great day lovely Magicals ☀️

What else you want to see here?

And this is the story I'm reading now: