‘...’ – speech in wolf form

“...” – speech in human form

Chapter 8

   A year had passed by so quickly that I only really realised it when the ground, one morning, was blanketed with snow. The trees were bare around us and there weren’t as many birds to be heard up in the branches. The shallower parts of the river that flowed through the woods were iced over and the chilliness of it was not welcoming when we needed to drink.

   Sani was now twice the size she was when she first met the pack and the top of her head just brushed my thigh if ever she walked beside me. She had become a proper member of the pack by now and she knew her family a lot better, though she still held an air of wariness if ever she came close to Kai or Jared but she was no longer scared of them as she once was.

   Just as Blake said, I too had regained my former normality of being a pack member and was once again enjoying the company of my family around me; it had taken a little longer than expected but when I began to realise that Blake was finding it easier than me, I began to force myself to mingle among the other wolves I knew so well.

   One thing I was still finding difficult was working my way up to the ranks of the pack; being an Alpha’s daughter isn’t enough to make an individual high ranking straight away. You always had to make your own way up whether by fighting or some other means. Fighting was the best way of doing it, but there’s always out hunting someone or whatever way you can think of.

   This wasn’t made easy by the fact that both packs being together had caused a commotion in the ranking; as it stood there was twice as many wolves taking up the higher ranks as there should be. The Beta of my half had been taken up by my uncle since Tyson was forced out whereas Blake’s half also had a Beta, although this wasn’t as much of a problem since there were two Alphas but it became an issue when things needed sorting or arguments needed to be stopped then it would involve more individuals than necessary.

   Though these fallouts and moments did allow me to see even further into the way that Blake’s pack worked; he himself, I noticed, was rather high up but he never used that around me or ever had since I met first ever him. When I had noticed this, I smiled to myself and thought maybe that would help things in the future (but not for myself). I didn’t ask him about this as it wasn’t a priority to me, I still had to find my own place and I was still very busy keeping an eye on what Sani was up to half of the time.

   We were safely in the protection of the woods that ran along the southern border and also joined the pack territories. However, we weren’t in a camp with caves, instead we were in the openness of a clearing. Kai and Jared had agreed on this, though I never got involved in these discussions as it would mean more on my mind, however I didn’t understand how any of these negotiations worked.

   Kai had led us all off from the plains to the woods where we had now remained for the winter to keep away from as much of the cold as possible. I was moderately used to this yet I kept from saying anything as it meant I got to be even closer to my mate and daughter through the nights.

   I was talking to Jasper as he was free from playing with Sani and was resting with his head on a log; I sat beside him and watched the pack casually as he spoke to me. ‘I was starting to wonder when you’d show up,’ he said, referring to my disappearance. ‘And if you had left it about another month I probably would have left and come looking for you. Even Samson was starting to worry; we get on a lot you know,’ he pointed out.

   Bobbing my head, I turned to him. ‘Yes, I have noticed. But you are very much alike in the way you are but you’re also similar to Blake in some ways.’

   Not liking that, his ears rolled back on his head and he lifted up his head to frown at me slightly. ‘I am nothing like your mate, Lay, and I’d prefer it if you didn’t say things like that.’

   I growled to myself and flicked my tail in annoyance. ‘But you are. Look at the way me and Lexi are with each other; our dads are Alphas and we both have younger brothers, and now we’re even more alike now that I have Sani. Yes, Lex might be older than me but that doesn’t make much difference in the way our families all seem to be a copy. And you know I wouldn’t have been impressed if you or Samson came looking for us,’ I added continuing from his previous statement.

   ‘That may be the case but like I said, I am nothing like Blake. Well, even dad began worrying about you; only that was a few days before you came back so nothing came of it. And I have no idea about Kai; he’s very secretive, more than dad is so it’s hard to ever read anything from his reactions.’

   I smiled and confirmed what he had just said. ‘Yes, I know what you mean. But even when you’ve known someone your whole life they can still surprise you.’ He looked at me and I grinned at him (as best I could) and tilted my head little. ‘I mean, you’ve changed but I am just realising it’s because you’re growing up. I only knew you while you were younger and then I got pushed away, so I’m finding it slightly weird to see you behave the way you do sometimes.’

   ‘Whereas you’ve hardly changed at all, from when you were kicked out. Uh, do we have to talk about that? I mean, I don’t like remembering my life without you around; it may not have been an awfully long time but it was long enough for me to completely loath Tyson while you were away.’

   That was all news to me; in all the time I had been with my pack after meeting Blake as well as now, I had never asked about anything to do with how my brother or family or anyone felt with me gone and Tyson still in charge. On rare occasions, when I was still with him (Tyson), I wondered if I was the only reason he never turned on anyone (not necessarily my family) or whether he ever really wanted to be different to what he was.

   In any case, I never found out and would never know, but I could at least ask some things. ‘Jasper, I’ve never asked but what were things like after I was turned out?’ I asked rather slowly and cautiously yet hoping he would still answer.

   Sighing heavily, he dragged his head off the log and sat up and without looking at me, he replied. ‘It was strange, and I don’t just mean that Tyson was harder on everyone but he seemed to have changed somehow. He never spoke to anyone much other than give orders or ask questions. He seemed a different wolf entirely when you weren’t around, as though he wasn’t himself anymore. There were a few nights where he wandered around on his own. I’m not the only one who saw it all but I’m probably one of a few who will still talk about it or not find it hard to think about.’

   As he spoke, I could see Jasper’s eyes mist over as he thought back. Half his mind seemed to be here and his other half must have been recalling those memories from more than a year ago (it had been so long even I couldn’t remember when). Closing his eyes for a couple of seconds, he relaxed his tensed shoulders and clawed silently at the ground with his forepaws.

   Trying to create images of what he was telling me wasn’t too difficult but then again I had no idea of how I was meant to picture Tyson being harsher than he was, even with me. It was harder still, to wonder what Tyson would have been like with me if I hadn’t stood up to him and was still with the pack; all I knew from thinking of that situation was that I would never have met Blake and I most definitely would never have had a family like I do now. Although, it could have been better for my pack to not have been forced into joining with another that was just as big and protective.

   ‘Lay? Are you alright?’ Jasper’s voice trailed over to me.

   Shaking my head, I came out of my own little trance and pricked my ears up. ‘Huh? Sorry, Jasper, I was just trying to think over something. Like whether it would have been better if I hadn’t been thrown out.’

   ‘And what would have been the point in that?’ It wasn’t Jasper who spoke but Blake. I looked over my shoulder at him and felt all emotional when it occurred to me he might have been listening longer than just those few seconds. ‘You were never happy with him and you are now,’ he said, obviously, as he stepped over. Jasper remained as still as I did and he even wore a faint hint of a smile on his mouth. ‘Layla, your life is so much better now... and fuller.’ He sat right beside me and even slunk his head onto my neck but not so his weight pressed down. ‘You have me and you have Sani, that’s twice as much of a life you would ever have had with Tyson. Though I wasn’t a part of that pack, from what I’ve heard I can tell you that he and I would have had many fights. So it’s better that everything is the way it is and I, for one, wouldn’t change any of it for what I had before.’

   Jasper tilted his head, but he wouldn’t completely understand all of what Blake just said. Looking into my eyes now, Blake fell silent and watched me over in case I was about to cry, though my eyes felt tear-stricken I knew I wouldn’t and I pushed my head under his more before licking his cheek once, affectionately.

   Rolling his eyes and shaking his mane, Jasper stood on all fours. ‘You two are the strangest pair of wolves I’ve ever known and probably ever will know, but I’m glad we’re family.’

   I chuckled. ‘And you’re the strangest brother I could ever have.’

   ‘And you’re glad we’re family as well, right?’ he asked and then opened his mouth a little.

   ‘I couldn’t ask for a better brother, Jasper, you know that.’

   He huffed proudly then sauntered off.

   ‘And what about me..?’ Blake asked slowly and curiously. I hummed to myself and walked off in the opposite direction to Jasper. ‘Layla..?’ he asked darkly while stalking me just as slowly as he was speaking.

   ‘Yes..?’ I asked back while looking over my back at him.

   He growled and sunk onto his front legs; I growled back just as playfully but then sprang off in the direction of a few nearby trees. I darted neatly between a few thinner beeches before swerving and sprinting off to the left while he leapt after me and followed me almost perfectly; he wasn’t as nimble as I was so he had to look for the bigger gaps so as not to accidentally run into a trunk.

   ‘Give up, Layla, you know I can catch you,’ he taunted.

   ‘Not in here you can’t,’ I teased back with a bark. I kept running and ended up running deeper into the trees than I first intended; the trees here were a lot thicker and more densely packed together so I was finding it hard to keep my lead up as well as trying not to trip over any roots or loose twigs or branches that were strewn all over the forest floor.

   Running out of puff, I slowed down and concealed myself in a little hollow in the roots of an oak tree. Curling up, I waited for him to follow my scent and poke his head round the trunk once he had found me.

   A minute later and I was still waiting, my breathing was back to normal so I walked around the tree and went looking for him. He couldn’t be too far away so I remained walking at a steady pace picking up on any scents I came across but none of them I recognised as his.

   It was fairly dark in this section of wood and without the greenness of the light passing through the leaves, the colours and shades of everything was much colder as well. The air itself wasn’t cold but with the scenery around me being different to what I preferred, I found it more eerie to be on my own in this condensed setting.

   I turned my eyes upwards and peered at the sky I could see through the bare branches above me; the little life I could see was a few squirrels and the only noise I heard was the squawking of crows that remained concealed in their nests of the larger trees. A couple of times I came across a few meandering trails of a stag but it was nothing worth following as it would probably be miles away from here by now.

   I continued my wandering, no longer concerned where Blake was or how far I was from my pack and I was beginning to take in the more finer details of how the trees split into their branches and how the roots intermingled together with those of other trees above the surface of the earth.

   Rounding a fairly large birch tree, I stumbled into the shoulder of another wolf; still in a haze, I shook my head and apologised thinking it was Blake.

   ‘Blake? Haha, wrong wolf, Lay,’ he said back with a harsh chortle.

   ‘Huh,’ I gasped as I stepped back realising who it was. ‘Tyson, sorry. Erm... I need to go,’ I said hesitatingly.

   He looked off into the distance. ‘Not because of me, I hope. Look, I won’t do anything if you don’t.’

   I snarled as I backed up a bit. ‘Were you following me?’ I asked accusingly.

   He still kept his head turned. ‘No, I was just lurking about and I heard you nearby so I decided to come and investigate. I wasn’t expecting you to find me but I wasn’t going to move.’ He fell silent and I kept quiet too. Looking over him, I saw he was still in the same condition as he was the last time I came across him. ‘I’ve noticed you haven’t been with the pack recently but I didn’t attempt a search and rescue on my own. Speaking of which, what is with the pack lately? It’s doubled, seemingly all in one night.’

   ‘Hmph, that’s none of your concern, Tys.’ I had now resumed my standing posture and was no longer backing away or slunk down to the ground. ‘It’s a rather long story and one you’re better off not knowing.’

   ‘You don’t need to protect me, Lay. I have a long time and it would make no difference; share,’ he added invitingly as he lay down on the floor with his forepaws crossed.

   I was suddenly rather twitchy; not only was being around Tyson putting me in a difficult situation (again) but I knew that sooner or later, Blake would find me or pick up my scent and I couldn’t risk him finding Tyson this close to me on purpose. ‘I’m sorry, Tys, but I really need to go. This isn’t a good time to talk.’

   ‘Meaning he’s about. Don’t worry about me, Lay; I can take care of myself.’ I looked at him unamused. ‘Oh don’t look at me that way. I might look awful but I’m still as capable as ever.’

   ‘Well excuse me if I sound crude but you look worse than awful. Tys, I want you to promise me you won’t ever come closer to the pack than you are now.’

   He suddenly looked disgruntled at this request. ‘As you wish, but that doesn’t mean I still want to keep an eye on you.’

   My thoughts were focused on Sani and keeping her safe. ‘I’m warning you, Tyson, keep away or I’ll have no choice but to reveal our secret,’ I warned harshly with a heavy pace forwards.

   He stood up and took a few casual steps away. ‘Secret or not, I want to know you’re still alright. So I can’t do anything but I’m still here and you know that.’ He paused, turned his head up and looked around. ‘If you’ll excuse me, I’ll be going now. See you around.’ And with that, he leapt off into the trees and disappeared into the wilderness.

   Just as he disappeared, Blake appeared from around the tree; knowing he would be able to tell what just happened, I turned tail and trotted back hastily in the general direction of camp.

   ‘Layla, stop running,’ he ordered from behind me. Stopping suddenly, I let him walk past me and stare at me in the eyes. ‘Alright, you win. No more running.’ He flopped down and breathed heavily until it settled down. ‘Now, why did you run off like that?’

   Keeping my features soft, I answered him. ‘Sorry, I didn’t realise I’d lost you. You found me though,’ I added subtly.

   ‘Yes, but I think we should get back before we have to run around finding Sani.’ Giving me no hints as to whether he knew of Tyson’s presence just a minute ago, I kept it hushed up in my head so not to stir Blake into doing anything.

   We trotted silently back to camp where everyone just seemed to be lazing about; in this cold weather it was hard to find much motivation in anyone to go hunting but usually someone would feel hungry enough to bother taking a small party and go hunt what they could find. Thinking of that, I suddenly felt my belly rumble and I thought maybe it would be a good idea to go now.

   ‘Blake, I’m going hunting,’ I said straightforwardly.

   He looked around us before speaking. ‘And I shall go with you, but we are taking a couple more with us. I can get a few of mine and you can ask who you want.’ He sauntered off in the direction of Samson and Daryl, leaving me to pick out a few of my family.

   I meandered my way through the lounging wolves of my pack and found Jasper. ‘Jasper, I’m going hunting, do you want to join?’ I asked loud enough for a few nearby to hear me.

   He rolled over off his back and shook himself. ‘It’s about time someone asked, I’m starving,’ he overstated.

   ‘Me too,’ added in my cousin, Nojak. ‘It’s been awhile.’

   After a couple more volunteered and joined us, we headed over to the outskirts of camp where Blake and his half joined us.

   ‘He isn’t coming is he?’ Kerin complained from beside me.

   ‘Yes, and it’s a good way to get you lot understanding each other. Just imagine them as your other family members and no one will get hurt.’ She growled under her breath but being this close to me, I heard her. ‘Don’t start or I’ll make you stay behind,’ I said warningly.

   We began to run off but there was one thing I forgot to account for.

   ‘Mama!’ I heard Sani’s voice call to me, I stopped and sent Blake on with the others.

   ‘Yes, Sani?’

   ‘Where are you going?’ she asked while still running over to me.

   I waited for her to reach me. ‘Hunting,’ I simply replied.

   ‘Can I come too?’ she asked and she begun to get all excited with her tail wagging frantically.

   I shook my head; I had already made a decision on this. ‘No, I want you to stay here where I know you’ll be safe. Stay where grandad can see you and don’t sneak off.’

   ‘But...’ she began to protest.

   I nudged her back towards the centre of the clearing. ‘No buts, Sani. Now stay here.’ I didn’t want to order her about but I knew that her hunting in the freezing snow wasn’t a good idea at her young age.

   ‘Yes, mama,’ she said reluctantly and trailed off towards Blake’s dad.

   Making sure she wasn’t about to run after me again, I pounced around and bolted through the trees followed the pulsing beat of my heart, whose sudden elation must be coming from the adrenaline Blake was feeling with the idea of hunting with me.