‘...’ – speech in wolf form

“...” – speech in human form

Chapter 12

   I knew that I had betrayed her in the past, more than anyone ever should to their life’s partner but I just couldn’t understand why she wouldn’t accept that I was willing to change. There was still something there, I could feel it; deep down inside my chest whenever I thought of or was close to her. It pained me when the pack travelled off into the open plains of their territory and that I could no longer keep some sort of watch over her. Being apart for so long (as well as no longer being within a pack) had made me more observable than I had ever been before; I even began to think of why I had behaved the way I did.

   Running back to one of my holes (I had dug them under the roots of the biggest trees), I tried to put myself in her position but it was too hard to do in a minute or two. Slipping down into the rough hewn out hollow, I curled up into a ball and pondered over everything I knew about Layla before drifting off to sleep in a foul mood.

*****

Blake’s PoV

   My eyes fluttered open, out of no will of my own; but now awake, I yawned as quietly as I could and stretched out each of my legs one at a time. Standing up, I shook my head and wagged my tail; my eyes slowly adjusted to the night. Once I could see, I looked to my left and right. Layla wasn’t lying beside me as she was when we were falling asleep. I looked further to my left and watched my daughter while she shuffled in her sleep. Smiling to myself, I dropped my head over her but not so to wake her up before heading outside.

   There was a faint hazy rain that filled all around; soon, my fur felt a little heavier and if I shook off the tiny droplets otherwise it would just soak down to my skin and I would get colder. I trotted out, to stretch my legs out more and then settled down to a slow walk. It didn’t worry me too much that Layla had gone off without me; I knew she could take care of herself easy enough but what she was out here for was a little puzzling.

   Not entirely used to sleeping in a cave, I padded back to the opening and settled down as I used to before ever meeting Layla. My ancestry was not quite the same as Layla’s and this resulted in us being so used to living completely out in the open (even on the coldest nights) that our fur seemed slightly thicker than Layla’s pack. It was the most subtle thing but made a large difference. Sani still had her puppy fur, yet it will be interesting what other subtle physical traits she has inherited from myself or Layla.

   Just as I was drifting off, a new pattering entered my hearing and feeling (through vibrations in the ground) and my ears perked up straight away. A split second after and my eyes caught a glimpse of Layla just sprinting into the clearing. She didn’t notice me straight away, and not until she was about five feet from where I lay.

   I kept my head low but watched her very closely. There was something about her eyes and the way she held her head on her neck. Her eyes seemed to be distant, especially taking into account that she still hadn’t noticed me; so I lifted my head.

   As expected, she gasped. ‘Blake!’ She padded her forepaws a little unsurely. ‘What are you doing out here?’

   I remained lain out on the ground. ‘I couldn’t sleep, and neither could you I see. Where have you been?’

   Her eyes shifted in their sockets and she looked uncomfortable. ‘I needed a run.’

   At that, I pulled my shoulders up and looked her softly in the eyes. ‘You always seem to need to be running around somewhere lately,’ I said, pointing out what I had noticed.

   Her mouth twitched as she slunk down on her haunches. ‘There’s a lot on my mind right now and running helps me think it all over bit by bit,’ she softly whispered.

   A thought then occurred to me; maybe I hadn’t listened to her much lately nor had I noticed things until now that she unconsciously portrayed in her body language. So, standing up on all four paws, I nodded my head once and stepped closer to her. She did not wince or move, just kept her gaze on me; it was as soft and gentle as she herself was with every touch she would ever give me. ‘Layla,’ I whispered back to her and then changed into a form I had recently grown unaccustomed to. “Please.” I only needed to say this one word and she knew what I wanted to do.

   She shifted; her eyelids filled with the tears I knew she would soon cry. The cause behind them I was clueless too. I only wish I knew why she was so upset. “I...”

   But I touched my palm to her cheek and she spoke no more. “You should know that you can always come to me; but none of that.” Slipping my hand down her neck and onto her shoulder, I took one last step to her before she shot her arms around my chest and buried her face into my chest.

   She didn’t cry out as I had been expecting; she shrugged and sighed heavily. I pressed my cheek against her head and wrapped my arms around her shoulders and rocked us both slowly where we stood.

   A fair amount of minutes later and she brushed her nose up my shoulder, neck and then cheek before pulling her head away enough so she could just peer into my eyes. Simply smiling back, I blinked slowly and stroked the top of her back that my hands covered.

   “Are you cold, my love?” I asked as her skin shivered under my touch.

   She smiled; giggling back at me then swiftly kissed my cheek. “Yes, I am. Will you hold me tonight?”

   I caught her lips before she drew her head back any further. “You don’t need to ask me that but of course. I’ve missed your arms around me at night and it’s nice to be holding you now.”

   She smiled wider, kissed my lips one more time and then released me whilst she shifted and waited in the cave opening for me to follow suit (the caves were only large enough to be entered as a wolf). I spared a short smile to myself one more time before copying her and followed her into the cave. Before completely disappearing into the darkness, I glanced one last time over my shoulder to the camp as a sharp breeze blew through with the hint of a growl in its wake.

*****

Layla’s PoV

   I couldn’t remember properly of the last time Blake had held me that way, in our human forms. There was so much I missed since having Sani but I wouldn’t change what I had now for anything less. I stayed awake that night, for awhile, not giving into sleep as easily as I used to. Sani slumbered restlessly nearby and Blake breathed heavily beside me, holding me in his arms but yet I couldn’t sleep along with them. Well, not for awhile anyway.

   Even though I couldn’t recall drifting off, I woke up from the night and met the morning sun with a large yawn. A shake of my head, I stepped outside into the early sunshine and spotted Blake and Sani sat beside one of the logs together; trying to catch the others paw with theirs. Seeing me, Blake stood up immediately and came bounding over like the childish youth I fell in love with. In that instance, I was taken back to the small hilltop where I first met his family. We pranced around each other like we once had, forgetting everything that had happened since. Tyson, family, packs, arguments and...

   ‘Mama!’ Of course Sani, who we shouldn’t have forgotten at all.

   I turned around and pounced right next to her. ‘Yes?’

   ‘Can we go for a run?’ she asked, wagging her tail excitedly behind her.

   Nodding my head heavily, I let her sprint off whilst I turned to Blake beside me. ‘Would you like to come along or stick around here?’ I asked with another loud yawn and a shake of my spine.

   He chortled softly. ‘I’ll stick around here for now but just call me if you’re in trouble.

   It was nice that Sani and I were spending some time together, on our own. I felt like I hadn’t really paid as much attention to her as I should have been doing (compared to how my own mother was with me). She would sprint ahead until I could no longer see her and then wait until I had trotted up out from behind a few trees and then obediently stay by my side without me needing to caution her.

   We were still within the southern region of our territory, which meant I was still slightly more alert about any movement or smell nearby that I had a bit too much strain on my focus; but I managed all day without even the short crow of a raven putting me on edge.

   We were just coming across a small stream when things were about to get a little more complicated. Sani paced over and started lapping at the cool water whilst I firstly looked around. There was a deer path not too far to my right and it meandered along with the course of the stream into the trees.

   CLICK. It sounded from the other side of the thin waterway and I snapped my ears and head up only to see the huge bony antlers of a male elk stood there beside a large beech tree. His eyes were a greyish blue and his fur was a muddy brown but mottled with grey hairs over his back and haunches. I could tell he was old but that didn’t stop me from having a little fear creep up inside me. It confused me; fear never came into a wolf’s being. That is not from another species apart from one.

   ‘Sani, keep still,’ I whispered to my daughter who, out of the corner of my eye, had lifted her head a little to look at this fellow woodland creature.

   Without a shudder, the elderly elk bowed his head to the stream and took a few short laps at the clear liquid. He suddenly snapped his head up, as I had done, and bolted off into the forest. Then there came a frustrated growling from where he had just been standing.

   Stood in his place was hunched a panting black furred wolf; on seeing him, only then did my guard snap itself awake again. Shaking himself, he snorted with annoyance but then turned his attention to me. ‘I’ve been chasing him for the past three days...’ he explained.

   Narrowing my eyes, I glared at him for the best part of a minute. The brushing of my lower legs told me that Sani had finally decided to come closer and hide herself under my belly (she was still just about small enough).

   Tilting his head, Tyson watched her curious behaviour. ‘Hmm. Don’t give me that look, Layla. It’s something called survival.’

   I snarled for a second. ‘And you won’t be doing that by chasing elderly moose about the woods. Take on something you know you can catch,’ I advised him rather wisely.

   ‘Yes, well, that’s not me,’ he retaliated and stepped over to drink from the water too. As observant as I was being, I could tell he looked a bit more filled out than when I had first come across him as a lone wolf but there was a still the subtle signs of his ribs and hip bones under his coat. ‘And who might you be?’ he asked darkly, clearly to Sani as that’s where his eyes were staring.

   I dropped my head and beckoned her out. She was very wary yet came out all the same and keeping close to my heels. ‘No one of your concern,’ she snapped.

   I chanced myself a small smile. ‘Well, I can tell she is yours, Lay. What is her name?’ he asked.

   Looking back across at him, I bared my teeth as I almost let out a growl from deep within my chest. ‘That you are not knowing. Now, will you please leave us? Go and chase some deer or something, I’m sure there’s plenty about, Tys.’

   He shook his head, which I took a little offensively. ‘I don’t get why you’re being like this with me, Lay. I haven’t done you any harm.’ He stepped effortlessly over the stream and dropped his head a little as he came closer. Sani had rushed right behind my hind legs to keep safe. ‘You know I wouldn’t harm her; she is a part of you and I can’t do anything to hurt you.’

   My gaze caught his, and for a minute moment of time I felt that old spark relight itself deep within my soul. A rush of air filled my lungs and I had to look away, for if I didn’t there would be no telling what I would have said... or done. I begun to open my mouth to say we (Sani and I) were leaving but my voice was cut short.

   BANG. There came a gunshot not too far away and in the direction that the old elk had fled when Tyson tried pouncing on him.

   ‘Mama?’ Sani called.

   Without any thought, I pounced around and grabbed her by the scuff of her neck (like I did to carry her as a pup) and darted off back towards camp.