‘...’ – speech in wolf form

“...” – speech in human form

Chapter 10

   Shaking my head for the second time now, I dropped my jaw so my mouth was now wide open. Not only could I not believe what my own nephew had just said but also that it sounded like he had pondered on this thought for quite some time; it wasn’t exactly treason but it still lead to complications and tensions if anyone was to find out. True I should have pounced on him for saying that and taught him a lesson on watching what to say but after all the talks I had had with Layla lately it linked to some of the natural facts and happenings that had recently occurred.

   ‘Samson, you do realise what you just said?’ I whispered, not quite sure how this would turn out.

   He swung his head to the side. ‘Of course I do, or I wouldn’t have said it. Look, all I meant was that we need a wolf that belongs to both packs and for me that means you. After all...’ But I interrupted him.

   ‘Wait, wait. Sammy, I can’t do that; least of all to my own father. You’re pretty much asking me to commit treason right in front of my own family. No, I won’t do it,’ I stated firmly with a stomp of my right hind leg.

   ‘It’s not treason, Blake. Grandpa’s old, and he will understand. And everyone would listen to you; you’re a pack member to everyone here and so they would all listen to you. And being Jared’s daughter’s mate means that he would probably step down too...’

   Once again, I interrupted him though this time more abruptly. ‘Listen here, Samson,’ I began whilst bearing down on him. ‘I am not about to ask my mate’s father to back down so that I can lead his pack. For one, he would not give up that easily and two, I am only a member of his pack by acceptance and through Layla and Sani. By all means he could easily turn me away as my own father could. Don’t you think it’s hard enough for me being an Alpha’s son as well as technically being the next in line for two pack’s? Do you have any idea how tough that is as a burden?’ I let my two questions hang thickly in the air. As well as my deminar pushing on Samson, there was also now my anger, rage and despair.

   Being up this close to him, I could see his lower jaw tremble with the way I had just turned on him. Focusing my hearing to the vicinity around me (keeping my eyes on his every move), I heard the faint growling of his own father somewhere to my left. Although it was clear that he would be utterly pissed at me, we both knew that he couldn’t do anything to me whether he is my sister’s mate or not.

   Breathing hard, I was now leant against an oak tree; my back firmly pressed against its immense trunk and the back of my head gently tapping on the bark. After my treatment of Samson, I had decided to do a long lap of the forest and losing track of time, I kept on running until my legs began to ache.

   Looking up between the branches and leaves, I stared at a small cluster of stars as they twinkled perfectly in the night sky. It wasn’t hard for me to imagine being up there, circling around as the buzzards do when seeking out prey. When I was younger, I had had many dreams where I was soaring through the air and clouds and tracking my way around the mountains to the north. Everything seemed so much simpler back then; I had no responsibilities, no judgements to make, no orders to listen to or give out. I just wanted to be a pup again, with no cares other than whether I could make the far side of the river from a standstill jump.

   “...Blaaake! Blake!” I heard Layla’s voice call out to me and then swiftly accompanied by the high pitching barking of who I could only imagine to be my beloved daughter.

   Sighing heavily, I pulled myself away from the tree and made my way along a deer track towards the sound of their voices.

   Spotting their shapes between two smaller trees, I called out to them. “Layla, Sani, I’m over here.” The sudden pounding of the ground told me to expect someone to jump up into my arms; and sure enough a few short seconds later, Sani appeared in the gap and launched herself at me.

   Catching her before she knocked me down, I held her close to my chest as before while she licked my face affectionately. Opening my eyes, I caught the sight of my lover leant against one of the trees with her arms folded in front of her chest and her lips pouted out in a non-impressed gesture.

   “I’m guessing you’re annoyed with me then?” I half-asked, half-assumed as I let Sani jump back down to the ground, where she rubbed her sides against my legs.

   She turned her head to look away from me. “I’m more upset with the way you spoke to me and then just stood up and walked off without even an apology.”

   Biting the inside of my lower lip, I closed my eyes tightly and took a deep breath before walking over and pulling her into a tight embrace. “Can you forgive me? I let what happened get to me way too much and I took it out on you. I shouldn’t have.” Hoping that that was enough, I released her a little so I could look into her eyes and wait for whatever else she wanted to say to me, whether it good or bad given the situation.

   Raising a shaking hand, she touched her fingertips gingerly onto my cheek and slowly stroked them up into my hair where she left them. “You know I’ll always forgive you,” she began with a warm gaze into my eyes. “I just wished you would talk things through with me sometimes rather than just jump to a conclusion or judgement and not letting me explain. I’m not saying you were all wrong; I snapped too at what you said and I’m sorry for that.”

   I took her hand from my hair and held it in mine. “We can just forget about it; we were both frightened and worried and I suppose neither of us were thinking clearly.” She shook her head slowly. “At least Sani is back to herself again,” I pointed out with a bob of my head.

   Both of us looking over my shoulder, we watched as our daughter rolled around in the dry dust that coated the ground; it was most likely dry due to the thick layer of branches and leaves above that stopped the snow and rain from falling to the earth.

   Suddenly, she pounced onto all four paws and yapped at us with her tail wagging in the air behind her; the expression she gave us was that of frustration and we both knew the reasons for it. Being so young still, she was not able to shift as we do and as a wolf, she was not able to communicate to us while we were human.

   So, reluctantly, I let go of Layla and we both shifted together into our more natural forms.

   ‘Yes, Sani, what is it?’ Layla asked as soon as Sani was by her side.

   Nuzzling her mother’s neck, Sani muttered her thoughts. ‘When will I be able to change like you and papa do?’

   Chuckling to myself, I decided to answer this one. ‘Soon, Sani. Don’t worry; you’ll be able to shift to a human form about next year.’ Now, to me and Layla a year was hardly anything but to Sani this was too long a time period.

   ‘Next year! But that’s ages away, can’t you teach me now?’ she requested.

   With a gentle nudge on the rump, Layla sat down beside her and tried to explain. ‘It’s not so much about teaching; it’s more to do with your body’s capabilities and robustness, in a way. If you shift too early then you run the risk of exhausting yourself out because your body will not be used to the physical changes and trust me when I say, dear, that at your age it uses quite a bit of energy.’

   Sani huffed and slunk down onto her haunches, clearly infuriated. ‘But I’m ready, I know I am,’ she insisted.

   ‘Now, now, Sani. You heard what your mother said; besides you only think you’re ready because that is only your mental side that is ready. Your body is just not capable of going through the change. We will help you when we know you’re fully able to do it, I promise. Why are you so eager anyway? I know I never was.’ It was odd being able to talk to her this way, as though to an adult; but ever since she could talk she always seemed to be more mentally advanced than any other pup I had known.

   She rolled her eyes at me as though there was an obvious reason. ‘Because I want to be able to do things in a different way, and see things from a different perspective. It’s all great being a wolf but there’s more things that I could do better as a human. Plus there’s also the curiosity of what I look like in my other form, do I get to choose?’ she added on the end in a perked up manner.

   ‘Unfortunately, you don’t but you can have a good stab at guessing your eye and hair colours.’ Layla and I both giggled at this point; that was really the only things any wolf could ever guess about themselves or another wolf. There was no way of telling what any shifted wolf looks like when in human form by just knowing them as a wolf.

   ‘Hmph, I don’t want to guess, I want to know. And I don’t want to wait,’ she yapped away.

   Not being able to stop myself, I giggled more and paced over to sit on my haunches by the both of them. ‘There is loads more you can do as a wolf than you can as a human,’ I tried to convince her. ‘Besides, this is what we are naturally; it’s only because of our ancestors that we can do the shifting thing. If it weren’t for them we would be wolves anyway so you should really think about that.’ She just slunk her head down, still a bit annoyed. ‘Don’t make that face, Sani. And another thing, you’re not some low ranking wolf. You’re from two high ranking families and you should show yourself more respect than wanting to change yourself so soon.’ Out of the corner of my vision, I saw how Layla was eying me warily; we both knew she still had that black smudge on her rank still from being banished but hopefully her father could do something about it before he is gone.

   Standing up and padding her feet, Sani strolled off in the direction of what must have been camp with a sharp flick of her tail in the air. ‘You keep reminding me of that. Don’t you think I can still remember what I am? I hate the way everyone tries to be careful around me; I can take a few bumps now and again. I don’t want to be a high ranked wolf anyway, I never asked for it. I just want to be myself without everyone trying to avoid me.’

   Layla and I quickly stared at each other before glancing back over at her; neither of us had ever thought she had a problem with being an Alpha (as she would one day be); but seeing this new side of her was bewildering and shocking at the most. Never before had Sani shown that she hated what she was destined to be and that everyone knew. There was a thick cloud hanging in the air around us now; though invisible, it made things difficult and neither Layla or I had anything to say to make her feel better about her family roots.

*****

   ‘...so that’s why she has a problem with being near our dads,’ Layla pointed out, whispering to me as we sat on the edge of the fire light that night.

   We hadn’t spoken to Sani about the reasons why being an Alpha wolf was such an important role to a pack, not only were we a regal line of wolves but also our ranks were so delicate that without us a pack could easily turn on itself. It was an obvious thing but the implications that would have only resulted in mine and Layla’s absence those months ago could have easily lead to a restlessness in the pack or packs that only we could fix unless we had been away too long, then it could never be repaired.

   I watched closely at how Sani was sat; her forepaws crossed and her head resting on them while her back legs were closely tucked under her and her tail swishing tentatively behind her. Her eyes were narrowly closed as she stared into the flames of the fire and her ears twitched at the smallest sound around her. She was alone; no one dared go near her with the heavy air that clung about her in the dark.

   ‘I know it’s a long way until she understands but maybe we can help her understand sooner, or even a small amount. We both know how hard it is ourselves and we can give her some of our knowledge...’ I softly suggested as Layla laid her head down on my own forelegs.

   She sighed softly before replying. ‘Maybe, but what good would it do? She is clearly having some identity issues right now. What could we do to show her? I wouldn’t know where to begin,’ she confessed.

   I thought about it, long and hard for the next ten minutes and I could only come up with one thing. ‘Well, why not get her talking to our actual family? I’m sure your uncle could tell her a few things; after all he is probably the most noble wolf among us.’

   Slowly lifting her head off my paws, she looked into my eyes with a nervous, twitchy expression at my idea. ‘I’m not sure if that’s a good idea. After all, he won’t even talk to me; I doubt he would talk to her, knowing what she will be in the future.’

   We both knew what she was getting at. Any Alpha blooded wolf had a certain avoidance instinct within them when it came to being in the presence of a future Alpha; although it was never really noticeable by lower ranking wolves, Alpha families never showed it among themselves either. But it was there, deep within our minds and only now and again would we become aware of it around brothers and sisters, or in- laws. Sometimes I found myself wanting to not be around my sister’s mate as there was always the possibility of him becoming Alpha and not me; but I never shared this as some might see it as a weakness and I wouldn’t even dream of telling Layla.

   ‘I am pretty sure if you asked him nicely then he would help her. He can’t exactly say no if you ordered him anyway,’ I neatly slipped in.

   ‘Blake, I am not going to beg with him and he’s family so I’m not going to order him around either. I will see what I can do but I have a funny feeling this will turn out bad.’

   ‘Oh what’s the worst that could happen? He’s her family too and don’t you think he still has a grudge on your dad? Trust me, there are deeper issues between them than you or I could imagine. Go and ask him,’ I requested.

   Huffing, she swung her head and looked over to her uncle and cousins. There was something in her eyes that confused me, some sort of mental barrier that she was trying to overcome though I wouldn’t really understand what her problem was. ‘I’ll ask him tomorrow. Let me go talk to Sani,’ she said softly as she licked at my cheek.

   ‘You don’t need to ask. I’ll be with my dad,’ I stated.

   We both stood up and she wandered over to talk to Sani about before while I made my way over to sit with my father.

*****

Layla’s PoV

   As much as I loved my daughter and wanted to get her through this delicate situation, I could not simply go talking to my uncle; I knew deep down that I would have to but there was also that mental twinge I had whenever the thought crossed my mind. Knowing what had happened between him and my father, I had a certain reluctance to go asking for his help or guidance on Sani’s behalf. Somehow, some way, I would have to summon up the courage to go near him and explain what is going on. My only hope right now is that he wouldn’t refuse and that he understands how important a matter this is.

   ‘...so she seems to want to refuse her blood right?’ my uncle questioned as he sat proudly beside a small ash tree. I nodded hesitantly. ‘That is not acceptable,’ he said with utter conviction; the depth of his voice always sent a shudder down my spine (it was so different to my father’s). ‘We shall have to show her what it means to be one of an Alpha’s line.’

   At that, I shot my head up and my ears pricked up. ‘So... so you will help, uncle?’ I asked, unsure as to what he really meant. I could never be sure of the true meaning behind his words, and never had ever since I was little.

   He nodded his head slowly. Up and down. ‘It seems that I must, and you should maybe go to your father and ask him the same. Though I doubt my brother would understand the implications if your daughter does not understand soon.’ He chortled low and deep when he stopped talking, knowing that comment would writhe around inside me like a tormented snake ready to strike.

   Growling out of instinct, I paced forward and stared him square in the eyes. ‘Don’t you dare talk about my father that way! He is your Alpha too and your brother, so I suggest you show him more respect.’

   Once again, he chuckled. ‘And what will you do about it? You cannot challenge me, Layla; we both know that. But to answer your question; yes, I will help Otsani overcome her issues. Though I must warn you that this may not go to plan, or how the way you wish it to.’ With that said, he stood up on all fours and bounded off towards the others with an air of pride.