Think. Breathe. Madeline was the ghost that haunted my dreams and every dark corner of New York City. The fear of returning to England paled in comparison to meeting her again. This was why I couldn't think about my decision. If I did, I feared I would change it.

Garrett's eyes bored into the back of my head as I opened the driver's side door. I felt them stay on me as he opened the passenger side, slid in, and moved to buckle his belt.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, Harper, but we have to do this," Garrett said.

Hands on the wheel, I looked over at him. The emotions of the night had stayed in creases around his eyes. But his look had changed somehow. He was speaking in earnest and for a moment I was glad he recognized the debt we owed to Kael.

"We need closure," Garrett went on, emphasizing his final word with a decisive nod.

Surprised, I shook my head, "What?"

"My therapist says I'm progressing, but have untapped trauma that may be resolved if I return to England. Face my fears. Own my past. Just like you need to."

Though the rain had stopped, the pavement glistened under the streetlights, reflecting their red, yellow and greens in pools of water. I pulled out onto the street, trying to understand Garrett's rationale for returning to England. In my opinion, his accompanying me was a terrible idea. But Garrett's argument did have some merit so I listened.

"I don't trust Ava. Honestly, I don't trust Kael either. But if going back settles our scores, answers some questions, and provides some closure, it's what we should do."

From the corner of my eye, I watched him scratch his stubble. He shifted to face me, his broad shoulder pushing into my leather seat. "I mean, from what you've told me, this lady generally doesn't have your best interests in mind. She doesn't love you. Should we even trust her?"

I massaged an oncoming headache, trying to process. Kael worried me more than the closure Garrett suggested, but this could be healing for us both, especially if we stayed under Interpol protection. "I don't know." I glanced at him. With one dark brow raised, he seemed unimpressed with my input. I sighed. "You're right. She has her own agenda. Of course she does. But she's right too, Gar. What if Madeline's crew comes looking for me?"

"Exactly." Garrett's wide fingers drummed against his knee. "You're made of tougher stuff than you were a year ago. It's not like you'll be alone over there either. I'm not Ava. I do have your best interests in mind." He finished softly, "I do love you."

Distracted by his shift in subject, I took the turn onto Maria's street a little too sharply and forced Garrett to sit straight in his seat. He gave an annoyed huff.

"Sorry," I mumbled.

Maria's townhome was a massive brick structure set off by immaculate landscaping. Feature lighting beneath each window gave the home a warm and regal appearance. I had never envied her material possessions, only her ability to fearlessly form strong connections with everyone in her life. If I possessed the same talent, perhaps Garrett wouldn't be miserable as only my friend.

While my thoughts had drifted, Garrett had been speaking. He finished his speech with, "but at least you consider it possible and that has to be good enough for now."

I slid my eyes closed, trying not grow angry when he resurrected this contentious subject. Tonight had been the proposal of most women's dreams. Fireside, Garrett had knelt on one knee and produced a large diamond. My adoptive family waited breathlessly for my answer. The tightening I'd felt in my chest as soon as he'd dropped to his knee in front of me, the knot in my stomach as I heard Maria gasp in joy behind me, and the tension in every inch of my spine when I heard those words yet again meant that I could never give the answer they all wanted, yet I'd been fool enough to force the acceptance from my lips.

Garrett moved to exit the car, but I grabbed his sleeve. "Gar, how do you know?" He dropped back inside the car with a questioning look so I continued. "I don't know. I don't think I even know what a romantic kind of love would look like, feel like. Does that worry you? I'm lost. I care for you like I care about Maria and Arthur, but shouldn't it be different somehow? Is it supposed to be different?" I dropped my head in my hands, defeated.

I felt his hand on mine, the massive princess cut diamond cool against my skin as he slipped it on my finger. I didn't protest.

"You had some hard times growing up as an orphan. I get that." He cleared his throat. I'd never seen Garrett so serious. Lines creased in his brow. His lips were pursed in concentration. "It's like..." his voice trailed off for a moment. "There's no right or wrong way to love. My dad used to say it's the only time when the basic primal instinct of survival gives precedence to an emotion."

"In English?"

Garrett smiled, "It means you'd rather die than see them hurt. True love overrides the primal instinct of survival."

Glad to see my friend more relaxed I rolled my eyes and climbed out of the car. The ring felt heavy, but I tried not to look at it or adjust it. A prong poked into the side of my middle finger. We had a plan. I would stick to it.

"Keep this simple, Gar," I whispered as we climbed the wide stone steps to the front door. "As few lies as possible. I don't want to break Maria's heart when this is over."

Garrett looked sideways at the suggestion that our engagement would end. I kept my gaze straight ahead. As we entered the front hall, we were greeted by the sound of Maria's latin music and the smell of spicy food lingering in the air. What Garrett had told me was important, a lesson in an area where I had great deficiency. Because I couldn't mull it over now, I tucked the information into the deep recesses of my mind to consider later. Despite Garrett's explanation, I knew I would never risk the vulnerability of what he knew as being in love.

---

"Atlanta?" Maria repeated the word a third time when Arthur finally descended the stairs and joined us in the large entranceway. If her accent and taste in music weren't indication enough, her home featured deep red stucco walls and black rod iron railings as an ever-present reminder of Maria's latin heritage. The house shook slightly in rhythm to the music. I doubted Arthur had heard much of what we'd said over the lively melody, but his perception was surprising.

Arthur landed on the bottom steps to land a hand on his stepdaughter's shoulder. "It makes sense, Maria, if Garrett's considering a job there." His hazel eyes moved from Maria to me. There was something there, a question or concern that he wanted me to speak to. Instead, I looked away.

Maria's dark eyes widened. She'd wanted Garrett and I together for years, but the idea that we could move away from New York was devastating. "But you would never leave New York, Harper?" Her question sounded a little desperate and tugged at my conscience as much as my heart.

In her early forties, Maria still held the beauty of someone much younger. Black hair swept into a wistful side bun and large, wide-set eyes gave the impression of someone far more innocent than a woman who'd adopted a troubled teenager and endured four failed marriages.

"I'm trying to be less closed minded," I offered. I tucked my arm in Garrett's, hoping I looked more comfortable with the gesture than I felt. "We'll spend a few weeks down there and see if we like it."

"And make the decision together," Garrett offered with a smile. I worried he was enjoying this a little too much, but we couldn't change our story now.

Maria didn't like the idea. She twisted a loose strand of hair over her shoulder. "A few weeks?" she asked.

I hated myself for leaving her so soon after her ordeal with Robert, but it couldn't be helped. She would be safer without me here luring Madeline to New York. Telling her the truth was out of the question. Overprotective and anxious, she'd drive us to the grave before Madeline could.

Garrett was smiling, saying something encouraging, and squeezing my hand. I tried to focus, hear what he said. The only sensation that registered was the pressure of the diamond on my finger, digging into my finger as he squeezed my hand.

I laughed suddenly, between my nerves and my desire to break the tension in the room, the sound escaped me before I could quell it. "Come on. You two will barely know I'm gone. When I get back, we'll have dinner downtown and talk this over."

I reached for Maria. She would like the idea of her involvement in the decision. Her overwhelming desire to protect me was a suffocating, desperate kind of affection that had nearly driven me mad as an adolescent and had influenced my decision to hide my family's criminal history from her when I had discovered it last year. Had she known, she would have never released me.

Arthur was harder to fool. He had always been more supportive of my decision not to marry. In fact, I had seen marked disappointed in his face when I accepted Garrett's proposal. Concern filled his hazel eyes as he reached for a hug.

Buried in his embrace, I smelled the familiar musky scent of his aftershave, felt the roughness of his five o'clock shadow against my face. If not for Maria, I would tell him everything. Art was my father figure and best friend. Before he released me, he whispered, "What is this?"

Trying to hide my disappointment at his perception, I kissed his cheek and winked, mimicking his own characteristic charm. I whispered back, "Love, Art. This is love."

He didn't believe me. His eyes narrowed and searched mine. I had to look away. Too many nights we'd stayed up late discussing my fear of commitment and my frustration at Garrett's persistence. At times I came close to breaking. I wanted to tell him about my family, but he would advise I stay away. In the end, it was better he not know. Telling Arthur was too close to telling Maria.

Arthur leaned away but kept a hand on my shoulder. "If you need anything," his hazel eyes locked with mine, "you call me day or night. You'd be impressed what this old man is capable of if pressed." He punctuated his sentence with his customary wink and smile, meant to put me at ease. But I could see the concern remain in his eyes.

Maria seemed to find his comment equally unsettling. She swatted his arm and stole another hug from me. "Don't be silly, Art," she crooned. "She'll be with Garrett! What's the worst that could happen?"  

*****

What's the worst that could happen?? XD Come back next week to find out! Do you guys think Harper made the right decision in deceiving Arthur and Maria?

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