I knocked on death's door

knowing exactly what

I was looking for

I was offered myself up

on a silver platter

but it made no difference

I didn't matter

death send me packing

before I even made it halfway

saying

I don't want you here

please go away

I was forced back to life

feeling pure agony

as the pills, I swallowed

got heaved

as the cuts on my body

continue to bleed

and the suicide note I wrote

lay there mocking me

but I cleaned myself up

pretended to be fine

because when death

doesn't even want you

It strikes you

deep inside