Everyone had a glamorous idea of who my Grandma is. She must have baked you cookies every Sunday! Your grandma was such a sweetheart! She knitted a sweater for every new citizen in the village and she baked them blueberry muffins! She had a heart of gold!

Yeah and I kissed frogs for a living.

Seriously, she wasn’t the sweet ol’ grandma everyone thinks she was. Whatever idea they have of her, it wasn’t true. She was vile, cruel, and down-right hateful. I thought the result of her behavior was because of her old age.

I was wrong, so wrong and thank God I found out why before I ended up like my parents.

No one was going to believe me, so I took matters into my own hands.

I strolled in the forest, trying to find a certain someone to do the job. The name Wolf has been tossed around the village. Savage and murderous was attached to that name and he sounded perfect for the job.

A breeze snipped my face and I flipped up my red hood. Squirrels and rabbits scurried across the forest floor. I peered around the trees. No sign of human activity. I sighed. 

“Oh poor me! I’m lost!” I pressed my hands on my chest. “I do hope that a kind stranger helps me find my grandma’s house!” No sign of movement and I frowned. “Oh come on. Come out already! I need to see Wolf!”

“All you had to do was ask, you know.”

I whirled around. A pair of yellow eyes peered at me and I gasped at the sight of a big wolf walking on its hind legs. “You’re an actual wolf?!”

“Well yeah. What did you think I was?”

“Oh I don’t know, a human with a stupid nickname?”

He rolled his eyes. “Whatever. Who are you and why did you want to meet with me?”

“My name is Red and I need you to kill my grandma.”

He squinted his eyes at me."And you say that I have a stupid nickname." He rubbed his furry chin. “You must have serious family issues.”

“I can’t have family issues if my family is dead.” He stared at me, waiting for me to explain more. “She’s the reason why my parents are dead. My grandma knocked them out and she traded them to another old hag that feeds people so much, they get fat and then she eats them. Grandma earned a lot of money from that and she’s going to do the same thing to me if I don’t kill her first.”

“Why don’t you just tell the authorities?”

I rolled my eyes. “Who’s going to believe me? Everyone thinks she’s a saint.”

“And you want me to kill her for you? An old, brittle lady?” He chuckled. “She’ll die of a heart attack soon enough or just push her down the stairs. You can do it yourself.”

I shook my head. “Don’t underestimate her. She’s not as brittle as you think.”

“Fine. What is your payment?”

I shrugged. “Dog treats?”

“Funny. “

“Okay okay. My grandma’s life insurance is one million dollars. If you get the job done, I’ll give you half of that.”

He gaped at me. "Really? Five hundred thousand dollars just to kill an old lady?" He stuck his paw out and he bared his teeth into a smile. “Now that’s what I’m talking about.”

I grabbed his paw and I grinned as we shook hands, paws, or whatever. "Pleasure doing business with you."

"Likewise. When do you want her dead?"

"Like right now. She already tried to kidnap me today."

"What did she do?"

"She put something in my apple cider. I tasted it and I pretended to go to my room with my drink. Then I climbed out the window and here I am."

He picked his teeth with his claw. "Amateur. Just tell me where she is and I'll get it done in thirty minutes."

I pointed to a dirt road. "Follow that road and it will lead you straight to her house." He gave me a nod and he jumped onto his four paws. He bolted down the road and he left me in the dust.

Savage and murderous huh? Yeah right. He definitely didn't act like it. Hopefully, I made the right decision.

***

Thirty minutes had passed. Should I go check? Wait, what am I thinking? Of course I should go check! I can't waste more time.

I sprinted down the dirt road. Rotting leaves littered the path and a dead rabbit laid in the middle of the road. I hold in my breakfast. "Seriously? He could have at least threw away his leftovers."

I swerved around the rabbit and the house appeared. The front door was opened wide. No scratches or damage was on the door. 

I tiptoed in. The radio played an old country song like usual and the sound of running water came from the kitchen. I peered from the doorway. Water flowed out of the faucet and white shards were scattered across the kitchen floor, Grandma’s fine china. A red handprint was smeared on the counter. “Dang, he actually did it,” I muttered. “He should have kicked the door in to make it look like someone broke in and robbed the place.”

I sprinted up the stairs and I reached my door. Wait a minute. This was a crime scene now. I can’t touch anything or else they’ll wonder why the dead grandma’s granddaughter packed up her stuff and skedaddled. I scooted back. It would make more sense for a confused, distraught granddaughter to check her dead grandma’s room.

I strolled to her door and I forced it open to make it look like I was in a hurry. My eyes almost popped out of my sockets.  Grandma’s not-dead body was laying in her bed. Her pink nightcap was on her head and the covers rose from her breathing. Her big back faced towards me...with broad shoulders...with bulging muscles...oh no.

I turned Wolf’s face. Blood flowed out of a deep cut on his forehead. I ripped off the covers. His feet and hands were bound and Grandma’s pink nightgown clothed him.  He hacked out a cough and his eyes snapped open. “Run!” He wheezed.

“Nice try Roberta.”

I whirled around and the closet door opened. Grandma walked out of the closet with an axe in her hands. “Grandma, you don’t have to do this!”

She twirled the axe like a baton.“I have to. My past caught up with me. I owe a debt.”

“To who?”

“It’s none of your business, but thanks for making this easier for me.”  She grinned and she gazed at Wolf. “Thanks to you, all I have to do is cry and say "my poor Roberta! That freak attacked her and she threw my china at him! I killed him, but the damage was done! She was already dead!”

She inched closer and I scooted back. “I can help you earn money! I can bake stuff and make money off them! There are more easy and less illegal things to do to make money!”

“But this way is faster.” She raised her axe and she chopped down. I dodged and the axe landed on the bed rail. She pulled up, but the axe was stuck into the wood, barely missing Wolf. Grandma wretched her hands off the handle.

“Why are you trying to kill me?! The lady that lives in the candy house won’t like that if I’m dead!”

“She prefers her food alive, but she can just stuff you like a pig.” 

I sprinted to the door. Her wrinkly hands grabbed my arm and I elbowed her in the nose. Her head rocked back and she glared at me with blood dripping from her nose. Behind her, Wolf was sawing the rope off his hands with the ax lodged into the bed rail. He nodded at me. 

Keep her occupied.

“Grandma, please! Why can’t you kill or kidnap someone else? Like the woman Aurora? She always gets herself into comas and she would be easy to kidnap! Or maybe that one chick Cinderella? She talks to mice and she thinks her carriage is a pumpkin for crying out loud! Everyone thinks she’s insane and no one would care if she’s gone!”

She wiped her nose. “But you know everything. That’s a good enough reason for me to kill you.”

“I promise I won’t tell anyone!”

She laughed like a hyena and I jerked the door. The stupid thing wouldn't open. Grandma jangled the keys in her hand. Crap. “You’re right. You’re not going to tell anyone.” 

Because I’ll be dead.

I raised my fists, ready to clock her. She reached into her pocket and she whipped out a jagged knife. I gulped and my back pressed against the door. Grandma thrust the knife forward.

A blur of pink tackled her and the tip of the knife grazed my stomach, ripping my shirt. Wolf grabbed a hold of her and she stabbed him in the back. He gritted his teeth and he tossed her out the window. Glass shattered and an ear-crushing scream changed to silence.

I flopped onto the ground and I took in a deep breath. “You did it.”

“No. We did it.” He ripped out the knife and he threw it on the floor. “I wouldn’t be alive if it weren't for you.”

My head tapped the wall and I sighed. “Pink is definitely your color.”

“Nah I prefer sheep’s clothing.”

I chuckled. “So, the big bad wolf does have a sense of humor.”

“Yeah and Roberta? What kind of a name is that?” He rolled his eyes. “And you say that Wolf is a stupid name.”

“Don’t even right now. You were knocked out by an old, brittle lady.”

He raised his paws in surrender. “Okay you got me there. I underestimated her and she caught me off guard. I also think you should go to the authorities about this.”

I frowned at him. “Seriously? What am I supposed to say?”

“The half-truth. Just don’t tell them that I was involved.”

“Oh yeah that makes total sense, not.” I jumped onto my feet. “But I’ll do it anyway. I can show them the apple cider. Maybe that will help.”

“Yeah.” He staggered up. “I better get going. I have another target.”

"Wait! What about your half?"

"You saving my life is my payment."

"Uh all I did was talk and distract her."

"Which gave me enough time to get out of those ropes."

I stretched my achy legs and I laid on my side on the cold floor. “Okay you're right. Who is your next target?”

“I have to kill some guy named Pinnochio and my client lives all the way across the country.”

Across the country? I've never been outside of the village and now that Grandma was dead, there was nothing for me in this village.“Can I come with?”

He crossed his arms. “And why would you do that?”

I shrugged. “I have nothing else better to do and this village sucks.”

“Fair enough. Meet me by the windmill at dawn.”

“Okay. See you later.”

“Bye Roberta.”

I glared at him and he jumped out the window. I twisted the doorknob and it wouldn't budged. “Crap. I forgot it’s locked. Wolf! While you’re outside, grab me the key!”

-----------

Hope you enjoyed it! This was so much fun to write.

If you could rewrite a fairytale, which one and how would you change it?