Chapter 15 - Listen to me
When we reached my house, he followed me inside, urging me to head straight to my room. He assured me he'd handle my grandma and instructed her not to bother me except for meals.
In my room, I exchanged my soaked clothes for fresh ones and took a long, cleansing shower. The balcony, once a place of joy, now seemed tainted by the day's events. I needed someone to talk to, to share the emotional turmoil that consumed me. My thoughts drifted to Tyler, and I dialed his number, knowing he deserved my honesty.
As I sobbed, Tyler immediately made himself available to listen. I recounted my encounter with Surya and the events that followed.
"Vee, how could you let this happen?" he asked, his eyes filled with sorrow.
"I'm sorry, Ty. I didn't think it would come to this."
"Did you like him?" he asked, pain evident in his voice.
"Yes, Ty. But..."
"Wait, Vee. I don't want to hear anything more."
"Please hear me out, Ty. I liked him as a friend. It was nothing more."
"No, Vee. We haven't properly spoken in days. I thought you were busy with your family and didn't want to trouble you. But, all this time..."
"I don't know what to say, Ty. I just wanted a friend here, that's all."
"I can't do this now, Vee. I've got to go," he said abruptly before ending the call.
Tears streamed down my face. I had hoped to share my pain with Tyler, but he wasn't willing to listen. What had I expected? For him to be understanding and supportive when he believed I had betrayed him? Had I, indeed, betrayed him?
Regret and self-loathing flooded my thoughts. If my father ever found out what had transpired, he would be devastated, and my family would be shattered. How long could I keep this secret?
Krish interrupted my thoughts as he entered my room and closed the door behind him. He sat beside me on the bed, holding a plate of food.
"Eat this," he urged, offering me the plate. I declined, but he wouldn't take no for an answer.
"Don't act like a child. Refusing food isn't helping anyone. Those scoundrels are probably eating and drinking as if nothing had happened. Are you going to let their actions affect you this way?"
"Stop, Krish. Don't victimize me. I wasn't entirely innocent. I went with him willingly. He didn't kidnap me. I chose to be with him. I gave him the opportunity to do what he did."
Krish's expression hardened for a moment before he sighed and got up, as if he were ready to leave. "I can't help you if you keep talking like this"
As he began to leave, I reached out, grabbing his hand, and pulled him back onto the bed. "Wait, please stay."
"Eat, then," he said, offering me the plate again. I started to eat in small bites while he watched me silently. Half-way through, I looked at him and asked, "Why are you suddenly being so kind to me?"
He chuckled softly. "I thought we were already friends."
"Yes, but..."
"Shh," he interrupted, placing a finger gently on my lips. "Don't ask me any more questions. We're not talking about me today. I want you to focus on taking care of yourself."
"I need to take my mind off this," I replied.
"No, I actually want you to confront it."
"Confront it? What do you mean? I should go and talk to him.?"
"OH! We're going to do more than talking to him" he said, his anger momentarily flaring. Then he softened and looked at me. "But I'm also concerned about you. How are you feeling right now?" I remained silent, unsure of how to answer. My mind was a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions, and everything from that traumatic day kept replaying in my head. Added to that was the crushing conversation with Tyler, who had abandoned me when I needed him the most.
"What would you do if you were my boyfriend, and I told you something like this happened to me?" I asked Krish.
"Um... I don't know, Veena. I can't put myself in those shoes. Are you talking about your boyfriend back in America? Varun mentioned him once," Krish replied.
I nodded. "Tell me what you would do."
"I can't tell you what he would do or what he should have done. I don't know about the relationship between you two. But if you were my girlfriend, I would just be myself. Just the way I am talking to you now, I will be by your side until you are okay. I might be upset, and you know I am a very jealous type," he chuckled.
"So, I wouldn't be okay knowing that you went looking for someone else because I wasn't adequate enough. I would want to know why you did that, but I might not even ask you that because I'd care about you more than that," he said, his voice filled with emotion as he held my hands. Then he came back to reality and added, "If you were my girlfriend."
For a moment, I felt like he was my boyfriend—the way he spoke about taking care of me. "I don't understand you," I muttered almost to myself.
"What did you say?" he asked.
Had he heard that? "Nothing," I said, shaking my head.
"I hear something. What is it?"
"I just don't understand you sometimes. You're so weird, you know."
"I know," he smirked. "Now, go to sleep. I'll come in the morning and take you somewhere. Be ready."
"Where?" I sat up with a mix of excitement and curiosity.
"You'll find out tomorrow. Don't think about it. Just promise me that you'll sleep well."
"I'll sleep," I agreed.
"Promise?" he asked, his eyes softening. His gaze felt magnetic, and at that moment, I just wanted to obey him.
"Promise," I said, settling back into my bed.
Sleep eluded me that night. I felt betrayed. My friend, the one I enjoyed talking to and had almost trusted completely, the one who made me laugh and kept me happy, had betrayed me in the worst possible way. But my anger wasn't directed at his intentions; it was at myself for being so foolish not to see through it. I may have inadvertently enabled him without my knowledge. I was angry at myself and ashamed. My ego played a part in this, too. Perhaps if I had allowed Surya to drop me home safely, I wouldn't have had to run in the woods. Maybe if I had noticed the signs with Surya, I wouldn't have agreed to be his one-day girlfriend. What had I expected when I said yes to that proposal? How foolish had I been?
I cried until my pillows were soaked, my eye makeup staining the covers. The gloomy sky and the frequent showers outside mirrored the melancholy in my heart.
I didn't know what Krish had told my family, but late at night, nobody came to disturb me. My grandmother came into my room after my grandfather was asleep. She brought a glass of milk for me.
"Granny, why did you come up? I would have come down for you," I said as she entered my room.
"Krish told me not to disturb you, but I wanted to see you and know how you are doing," she replied.
"I'm fine, paati. I'm just tired."
"Krish told me not to ask you anything, but if you want to tell me anything, I'm here to listen."
"Thanks, paati, for being understanding. It's actually..."
"Surya?"
"How did you know?"
"There's no surprise there. You went to his birthday in the morning and came back crying. I can guess. Did he hurt you?"
I nodded in shame.
She lifted my head gently. "There's nothing to be ashamed of, dear. Your age is like that. This is the time when you get infatuated, have new feelings, your hormones are at their peak, and it's natural to feel attracted to boys."
"I'm not ashamed of that, paati. I'm scared and angry at myself. I never intended for him to like me that way. I saw Surya only as a friend, but he wanted more. I don't know what I did to make him feel that way. I feel guilty for encouraging him."
"You're being too hard on yourself, my dear. Let me tell you something. Boys don't always need reasons. They see signs in everything we do. Even if we don't look at them, they might imagine that we're intentionally avoiding them just to make them jealous. They're silly but hopeless romantics. Girls are often more logical. We see the bigger picture. We need words and promises, not just signs. Am I right, or is this generation too different?"
"You're absolutely right, paati. Boys can be quite...foolish," we chuckled.
"Do you want to know how I married your grandfather?"
I sat up eagerly, my eyes wide with anticipation, ready to soak in another tale from my grandmother's treasure trove of stories. "Yes, paati. Please tell me."
She smiled warmly, her eyes twinkling with nostalgia. "You know, this village didn't have big schools or colleges like you have now. We had to travel to the nearby town for our studies. And to get there, we relied on the public bus, which came by only every 30 minutes along the bypass road. Missing that bus meant a world of trouble for us."
I nodded, completely absorbed in her narrative.
"I," she continued, "had a dear friend named Padmaja, who happened to be in love with your grandpa. Padmaja was a shy girl, and she would never dare to look directly at Ramakrishna. Instead, she'd nudge your grandma and ask her to steal glances on her behalf."
I couldn't help but chuckle at the amusing image of my grandma being Padmaja's secret cupid.
"So," my grandmother went on, "whenever your grandma would look, Ramakrishna would catch her eye. And he, being the confident young man that he was, assumed that it was your grandma who had fallen head over heels for him."
My curiosity piqued, and I leaned in closer. "What happened next, paati?"
"Ah," she sighed, "that's where it gets interesting. Ramakrishna, smitten and convinced that your grandma was in love with him, started to follow her around, even to her parent's house."
I couldn't help but gasp, envisioning the scene unfolding before me.
"One fine day," my grandmother continued, "my father found Ramakrishna standing near our home. He approached him, inquiring about his intentions."
I was on the edge of my seat now, eager to know how this delightful tale unfolded.
"And do you know what your grandpa did?" My grandmother asked, a fond smile on her face. "He boldly asked for your grandma's hand in marriage, right then and there!"
I couldn't help but burst into laughter. "That's incredible, paati! And sooo sweet!"
My grandmother nodded, her eyes filled with affectionate memories. "Indeed, my dear. Sometimes, life has a way of playing its own games, leading us on unexpected journeys, and weaving beautiful stories in the process. You never know where love comes from. Attractions comes and goes. But true love comes only once."
"But, how will I know which is true love?"
"True love feels different. You'll know it when you face it. It's not like they show in the movies. It's not love at first sight. It's not just a physical attraction. True love is built on trust, compassion, communication. And most times, friendship is the first step. Great friends make great lovers too"
"Is this why Surya might have have those intentions?"
"Maybe. But, for you, it doesn't matter. What matters is how you feel. And remember, you're still young, child. All of this is going to be exciting and new, but love is more than just this excitement or this fluttery feeling in your stomach. And that's when you should settle. Everything else, will just be sweet memories for you to cherish. But, he careful whom you trust too. The world isn't really a safe place. You know that"
I nodded in silent agreement. I knew what she meant. I had trusted Surya blindly and maybe that was my mistake. I didn't know who he was, his family, his friends, or his childhood. This was my lesson. I need to be careful whom I trust.
What is your special moment so far?
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