Chapter 5

There's something odd I feel when our eyes met with each other. It's strange how cold he is, but I felt warmth staring at those cold, bloody eyes. He obviously felt nothing. He's dead. But how strange to me that I'm dwelling on my feelings for him like we were in high schools. 

Zane was of one the casualty of this disaster. Siguro, hindi naman niya ginustong mamatay at maging isang corpse but then the world change. We can't do anything about it but accept it.

I've also spent the night sa bahay dinala niya ako. Mukhang walang pag-asang tulungan pa ako ni Dan so I'll find a way to help myself. Sarili ko lang din naman ang maaasahan ko so I need to have a plan.

But I have no idea what was Zane plan of keeping me in his home. We're not having a casual conversation. Nakatitig lang siya sa akin. Pakiramdam ko may gusto siyang sabihin sa akin. He wants to share what he's thinking but because of who he is now, he can't do it.

He's dead and his feeling is void.

Just like when I woke up earlier, napasigaw ako at napatalon sa kinahihigaan ko dahil ang lapit niya sa akin. Nakakatitig siya sa akin. And what even made it worse, his gliding the back of his frail hand on my face. Nabahala ako kasi pwedeng maka-attract na naman ako ng mga corpses sa ginawa ko but what he did was strange.

Does he still have feelings? Strange Zane.

I mean, even though he has scars, burned in his face, I can still see Zane Carlingford in him. His perfect set of teeth but those aren't white anymore, it's full of dirt and all. And he smells so bad. Though, alam kong hiding hindi ako papansin ng alive version na Zane dahil isa lang akong nobody and now that he's dead, patay na patay na siya sa akin ngayon? What the fuck lang?!

He's the only corpse who acted like this. The only one.

I've made a plan of escaping his home pero napapaisip ako, ang sama ko naman kung tatakasan ko siya when in fact, tinulungan niya pa nga ako. But if he's going to keep me here until I became like him, jusko, hindi ako papayag!

"Zane," pagtawag ko sa kanya but even though I wouldn't try, nakatingin na siya sa akin. He still had his blue eyes on his right eye. His left eye is turning red. I mean, he must really be one of a kind.

He groaned at me. Maybe his way of responding to me. I know he can speak, he did it pero bakit ayaw niyang gawin 'yon? If he's in a transition, he might be doing his best to stop himself from turning into one but clearly, he's dead to me.

"I have to go home now," I stated.

Bigla naman siyang gumalaw sa kanyang kinatatayuan at pumunta siya sa tapat ng pinto at hinarangan niya ang daan palabas. He just stood there and do nothing.

Napahugot na lamang ako ng malalim na buntong-hininga. Hindi ko alam kung paano niya ako naintindihan at ginawa niya 'yon but I do think I'm going to spend another day in his home. Hopefully, someone from the bunker initiates to look for me though.

Bumalik na lamang ako sa pinagkakahigaan ko kanina at pinikit ang mga mata ko. Maybe later, he'll be gone.

***

Dahan-dahan kong iminulat ang mata ko. Bahagya kong nilingon ang direksyon ng pintuan at nakahinga ako ng maluwag na wala si Zane roon sa pintuan. 

I guess this is my chance to leave?

I quietly got up from the floor and scurried my way to the door. Hindi ako pwedeng mag-ingay o malalaman niyang tatakasan ko siya. I know he only wants me to be safe pero... he's still dead and I can't be with someone who's dead.

I slowly reach for the knob and opens the door. I'm trying not to make any sound. Pero nang tuluyan kong mabuksan ang pinto, nakarinig ako ng kalabog sa loob ng bahay and on my first instinct, ang una kong ginawa ay lumabas naga bahay niya.

I check the surroundings if there are deads lingering around. Nakahinga ulit ako ng maluwag ng malinis ang paligid. Then I guess it's safe for me to go.

Kahit nakalabas na ako sa bahay na pinagtataguan sa akin ni Zane, hindi pa rin maalis ang lakas ng kabog sa dibdib ko. Kinakabahan pa rin ako. Natatakot pa rin ako. At nakakabahala iyon.

When I heard little noises coming from the deads, agad naman akong nagtago para masigurado kong ligtas ako mula sa kapahamakan. Tumungo ako sa likuran ng puno at pansamantalang nanatili ako sa pwesto ko.

Maliwanag naman ang paligid. Sa tingin ko ay alas nueve pa lamang ng umaga. Hindi pa gaanong marami ang nakikita kong mga corpses na naggagala sa paligid. But there's a group of corpses coming kaya nagtago ako.

And then a moment later, napansin kong iisa na lamang ang corpse na nakita kong naglalakad. He's walking so slow. But what reminds me of that corpse is my brother. I examined it closely and when I figured that it was my brother, agad akong umalis sa kinatataguan ko at tumakbo ako papalapit sa kanya.

I grab his shoulder and make him turn to me.

"Oh no..." I gasped.

At doon bumagsak ang puso ko nang makita ko ang kapatid ko. 

"Troy..." I muttered.

He groaned at me. I retrieved my hand and moved away from him. Umaatras ako palayo sa kanya pero sinusundan niya ako. Hindi ako makapaniwala. This isn't what I'm expecting.

Shit!!!

He has the same cold eyes as Zane. He smells so bad and his mouth is full of blood and his teeth are crooked. His face was slightly burned and everything about him changed. Hindi na siya ang kapatid ko. And my parents wouldn't be so happy if I'm going to share this bad news to them.

"I know you're Troy... but you're not my brother Troy anymore... I'm sorry this has happened to you..." My heart sunk when I said that.

I was preparing myself to see him again but not like this. Gusto ko siyang makita na buhay pa at hindi katulad ng mga living dead na itoo. I feel so bad. Sana talaga pinigilan namin siya umalis kasama ang mga kaibigan. This won't happen kung hindi rin matigas ang ulo niya.

And when I tried to run away from, hindi ko naman inaasahan na si Zane muli ang makakasalubong ko. Natigilan ako. Nakatingin lang siya sa akin. Hindi ako gumalaw hangga't sa lumapit muli siya sa akin at kinuha niya ang kamay ko at idinala niya ako pabalik sa bahay niya.

He's groaning at me. Hindi ko naiintindihan iyon. Bakit ayaw niya ba akong hayaang bumalik sa bunker? Anong kailangan niya sa akin?

Muli akong pumwesto sa upuan at nanatili ako roon. Mas lumalalim na ang bawat kabog ng dibdib ko. Kung may ibang intensyon si Zane, gawin na niya at hindi iyong pinapahirapan pa niya ako. If he wants my flesh, ano pang hinihintay niya?

"You can't keep me here, Zane. Kung dati mo pa sana ito ginawa sa akin at hindi ngayong patay ka na, I would definitely stay with you pero hindi... I need to go back home."

And with my explanation, I know he wouldn't understand it so I guess I'll spend another night in his home but I'm going to try to escape him again. Kung hindi ko lang talaga nakita si Troy kanina, nasa bunker na sana ako ngayon.

And I don't know if I'm happy or not about seeing Troy. Knowing that everything can happen in a split second, everyone can be dead and I'm worried about it too.