I look in the mirror every day, and I hate what I see staring back. The reflection is so ugly and unwanted by the whole world. She is just a waste of space, taking up room that could of been used for somebody else; somebody who actually meant something to the rest of the world. 

When I look in the mirror, I see a girl who wants to fit in, but doesn't. Her eyes tell their own story all together.  Eyes that use to be so bright and filled with love for everybody and everything in the world, were now dull and lost it's color all together. Her eyes show fear of the cruel world that she use to love so much, and sadness that nobody else but herself can describe. Her eyes are red and puffy from crying the majority of the night before and the many nights  before that. Her sobs were muffled into a pillow while she listened to her father above drink away his problems. Her sobs raked her body until she was too exhausted to stay up any longer to cry, and she would fall into a unconscious state into a world of nightmares.  The girl staring back at me is always tired, but is too afraid to sleep, which causes the bags under her eyes. 

When I look in the mirror, I see a girl covered in bruises, cuts and scars; from the battles that she has with herself and the world around her. Her best friend is a razor blade, that has become an addiction that she can not get enough of. The scars scatter her body, and just remind her  of how big of an epic failure she really is to herself and to the rest of the world. She knows that the scars will never go away and that she will eventually reopen them again. That's just how it works. She gets better and than something happens and she gets the craving for the blade and she can't resist it any longer. 

When I look in the mirror, I don't see a beautiful girl staring back at me. I don't see myself at all any longer. I see a monster. I see something that i'm terrified of. I'm terrified of her, because I know what she is capable of doing. The girl staring back at me; is not me, but all the daemons inside my head. They have turned into the girl that I now look back at.

When I look in the mirror I see two best friends; Ana and Mia.  They work together. Ana is the one who tells me constantly how fat I am and tells me to skip the next meal. Than there is Mia, who tells me to throw up every time I do eat. They work together and that's what I see. I see the girl who wants her bones to stick out, but no matter how much weight she loses it is never enough.

When I look in the mirror I see Deb staring back. She controls all the depressing thoughts I carry. She is the beginning of everyone else I see. When I look in the mirror I see a girl with sad eyes, but still manages to put a smile on that is fake to herself but real to who ever else that see's it. 

When I look in the mirror I see Cat. She has long claws and is constantly whispering to me how I need the blade. She is the one that brings the blade down over and over until I bleed, causing more scars and cuts to form. 

When I look in the mirror I see Sue. She wears a death robe, and is always whispering thoughts of death into my ear. She reminds me that i'm not wanted and I am better off dead. She is the one who has made me try to end it all. She gets stronger with every day that passes that i'm still alive. 

When I look in the mirror I see all these daemons staring back all formed into one. They have turned into a monster; that no longer represents me at all. The demons have control over me and are capable of so much, and that scares me.

 When I look in the mirror I no longer see me, but the monster inside controlling me.

So here's another monologue, I hope you guys enjoyed it. Sorry I haven't been on for a couple weeks now, I've been busy with exams and all that but second semester has begun so I will try to post more, but  I can't make promises. I'm still in high school  and I can only write at the library or my grandparents; because I have no internet at home. 

Well I hope you are all doing good, love you guys Xoxo