CHAPTER | FOURTEEN | ALIZA | POV

"Mama stop fussing over me, I can eat by myself!" I didn't like arguing with my mom but she was just being too damn persistant on feeding me. I may be six months pregnant with a huge tummy and uncontrollable emotions but I'm sure I was cababple of eating rice by myself.

"I'm sorry habibti." She said and sat back down on her chair at the dining table while everyone else sniggered at our little argument.

Me and Isa had invited both of our families over for dinner and so far it was going pretty good apart from the fact that the whole house is literally cramped up, even though there were only two families here.

The letter incident had been forgotten but nevertheless it was still in my head; not necessarily at the back of my head that I would occasionally remember. But somehow the thought of it comes to me everyday though I would never dare to ask about it.

"Someone's getting moodier everyday huh?" This time it was my youngest brother-in-law who spoke; Abdul. He too like Isa studies abroad because apparently they're wanted to have the best education possible.

"Am not!" I argued defensively and again everyone found this as an apportunity to laugh at me. Even Isa found this funny while I sulked and refused to look at him even though he was sitting just beside me.

His hand found it's way to mine from under the table and he rested it on mine. I looked at him to see he was smiling warmly at me and without thinking I rested my head on his shoulder which again everyone took the liberty of making a sound; this time it was 'aww'.

Dinner seemed to have gone by in a blur but again we found ourselves in an argument as my sister-in-law, Shaima, wouldn't let me do the dishes. We had been having this discussion to let me do the dished for quite some time now but alas, she was as stubborn as ever.

"Oh just sit down Ali!" Asif sighed out loud and dragged me back down to the couch where the boys were all seated. They didn't even have to do any work because they were boys; lucky them.

"Hey, it's my house, I have a right to do the chores if I want." I could be stubborn too hence me crossing my arms and giving Asif a death glare. It didn't last long though because with him being the playful one, he decided to pull faces at me. I obviously had to laugh.

Whacking his arm with a cushion from beside me he began to moan about how strong I've become these last few months. I didn't blame him because to be honest pregnancy in a way does toughen you up to an extent.

It was now getting late and even though I would have wanted them to stay a bit longer, they really did have to go home. They did promise to visit soon which was fine by me and Isa so it was no big deal.

"Ma'Asalama!" I shouted and waved them goodbye from the door with Isa by my side. We watched them get into their cars and drive away back to their homes.

I began shivering in the cold Winter air and quickly closed the door behind me when everyone was gone. Even with a thick sweater that was three sizes too big for me and a shirt underneath, I still felt the coldness.

"Now can I wash the dishes?" I asked him because even though Shaima washed most of them, there were still a few dirty mugs from the teas and coffee's we had drank just before they left.

Actually when I say 'we' I don't mean myself as I'm off coffee until my pregnancy period is over. Just the smell of it made me hazy and that was never a good thing so right now coffee was an absolute 'no' for me. I was the only one who didn't have to drink it yet Isa also went off coffee for my sake which still makes me happy to this day.

"Nope, you need to calm down. We do have a dishwasher and I am capable of washing a few dishes you know." He joked around with me but I was actually surprised that he was volunteering to do some of the chores.

"Fine, stick them in the dishwasher and watch the bill, which by the way you're paying for, go up." I stated and at that moment I realised just how much of an Arab parent I sounded like. I never thought I would be like them but I guess the hormones really do get to your head.

The fire place had the flames dancing around in different motions and it seemed so warm and inviting that I had to go and sit in front, pulling my knees up to my chest in the process. 

Isa really did go to wash the dishes without any complaints and it was because of him I praised Allah and thanked him in my Dua's in every one of my prayers. I was alhamdulilah blessed with an undertanding husband. Everyone has flaws and it felt wrong of me to judge him because of what he has done in the past because I certainly don't blame him for anything; just a bit disappointed with his past decisions. But he really has changed and I could see that.

My thoughts went back to letter and what Isa had told me about what good the letter would do. It was something that would free him from Alex, but that was about two months ago and yet he hadn't acted upon what he was going to do with that letter.

Getting up from my comfortable position, I went to check up on what Isa was doing and luckily he was still doing the dishes and hopefully he would be there for a while. I didn't want to be going behind his back and seeing what the letter read, but the curiosity was getter the better of me.

Making my way upstairs I took off my hijab at the same time and hung it on the back of the door where there was hooks to hang our clothes. Looking around the room, I tried to remember where he had placed that particular blue envelope.

I shuffled around in the drawers until I had come to the bedside table and opened the drawers. There was nothing yet but I still had the bottom one to open and if Allah wanted me to read this letter then I hope it was in that drawer. I wouldn't look anywhere else after this and probably just leave it. Unless of course I'm desperate to read it.

There were a lot of his business folders in all the drawers in all different colours, including blue too, which made it a little hard to find the envelope. As I was about to give up on finding it, something pierced my finger and I immediately moved my finger away; it was a nasty paper cut.

Wiping the blood off with a clean tissue, I moved the folders away to the spot where I had gotten the paper cut to find exactly what I was looking for. The excitement was bubbling inside me as I took the envelope and made myself comfortable on the bed.

Opening the enevelope wasn't hard as it had already been opened before. I just hope that Isa wouldn't find me reading this. 

Taking a deep breath, I knew that this wasn't just going to be a 'hey, how are you?' kind of letter. It held something serious and whatever it was, it was going to help me find out more parts of the truth to this whole mess that I was now involved in.

'Dear Isa, I know I have no right to be even writing this letter to you or even have anything to with you after all the mess I got you in. If it wasn't for me none of this would have happened and you would probably be living your normal life at school and not distance yourself from your family.

Yes, I know that you haven't been the same with them since what has happened and I can see how it's my fault that lead all this to happen. Whatever Alex says that it's your fault is not true.

I never thought of ending my own life, no matter how bad the situation was, yet I still did it. Please don't hold yourself responsible for my death and no matter how much you convince Alex, I know that he won't believe a thing you say. I guess that's what happens when you have protective brothers huh?

Which is why I'm writing this letter to begin with. If you ever meet Alex again which I have no doubt you will, make him read this because the grudges he hold doesn't fade away so easily.

Alex, if you are reading this then I beg you not to hold Isa responsible for my death. It was my decision because what use have I when you, dad and everyone else at the warehouse hates me? Because of me dad could have died and you too. I thought that there was someone who wouldn't hate me but he disowned him like we had never loved each other in the first place.

I would have been fine if he didn't say that to me, but he did and that was something I didn't want to live with knowing that the person I loved other than family disowned me because of my mistake.

I love you all and please, for my sake, let Isa go. He was never meant to go on the wrong path of criminals, gangs or mafia's, yet he did and I wouldn't want my death to cause another burden upon him. Understand what I'm saying to you and please, just leave him alone. He doesn't deserve this.'

The letter ended with no more words being written down and I couldn't help but feel gratitude to Zoey for writing this letter because I truly hope that this was going to be Isa's saving grace.

"Ali? Where are you?" I hadn't realised how long reading that letter took so in a matter of seconds I had put the letter back in it's original place in the bottom drawer of the bedside table.

"Coming." I said as I made my back down the stairs and into the living room to see him with two cups of tea, one for himself and one for me. I gave him a smile and sat down next to him with his hands going around my shoulder so I could snuggle in his chest.

It didn't feel right that I had just the letter without him knowing so I knew that I would have to confront him right about now. There wasn't much to what she had actually did in the letter but I believe that it was enough that Isa definitely did not kill her.

"I have something to sort of confess." I started off with a heavy heart. It still didn't feel right to me that I read the letter, but what's done is done, I can't take it back now.

"If it's about the chocolates, then I already know you ate them." He laughed as I gaped at him and hit him in the face with a cushion like I did earlier on with Asif.

"No! And for your information it's not like you were going to eat them anyway." I said defensively as he put threw his hands up in mock surrender. "This is serious and it's about the letter. I read it." That was it, I had thought I was going to say a lot more about what I had read but saying that I even read it was more than I could get out right now.

He didn't say anything for a long time and even the arm that was around my shoulder was gone. There was no eye contac between us and I so badly wanted to comfort him but didn't know how to.

"Isa, I'm sorry I did that." I said in a weak voice, regretting my decision in ever reading that letter now. It wasn't just something that could be forgotten so easily; I had no idea if he even wanted me to read it or not, yet I did anyway.

"Don't worry about it. You were bound to read it someday anyway." Was all he replied and shot me what was meant to be a smile but really I could tell that smiling was the least he wanted to be doing right now.

I cupped his face in mine and kissed his cheek, it wasn't much of a comfort but it was all I could offer him right now. My hands were still cupping his face but I didn't let go until his eyes finally met mine.

There was the despiration of wanting to get out of this situation and be free but he knows that now he's gotten himself in this mess, it wasn't easy to get out of it. Though I couldn't promise everthing would be alright, I could promise that I would be there with him in every step of the way and guiding him.

"I'm sorry for dragging you into this." Was all he said as he released his face from my hands and got up to walk away. I wanted to call him back and tell him that it's okay but we both know that would be a lie. So instead I watched him walk away from me while I sat there wondering what I could do to make him forget about it at least for a little while.

There was nothing that popped into my head until I remembered something my mother-in-law had told me before I had married Isa and this was the perfect opportunity to take aboard what she had suggested. 'Anything to do with cake and he'll forget everything.' Was what she had told me. Luckily I knew exactly how to bake one. Spending time with Farah's mom in the bakery really taught you things.

A new hope started to glisten inside me and jumping up from the couch as softly as I could, I set the tea aside and wondered to the kitchen and turned the lights on. Footsteps of Isa's could be heard walking around so it was a good thing he hadn't gone out then.

I got out the ingrediants and immediately began to mix. I was never taught to measure things out because from the experiences of seeing Ma cook in the kitchen was enough to say that you put as much in as you please.

He also was a sucker for chocolate much like I am but unluckily enough we had no cocoa powder so I had to go round finding any signs of chocolate that I could melt into the mixture to make it a chocolate cake. There was a mini debate in my head about whether or not I should the nutella but decided against it as I would probably spread it in the middle after it was baked. Much like a fudge cake.

Melting the chocolate didn't take that long at all and before I knew it, it was done and ready to be mixed with the mixture. So I did and content with the chocolatey mixture, I set it in the oven waiting for it to bake.

It would probably take about thirty to forty minutes to bake so I need to think of something else to do about Isa because leaving him like that was of no use and it just didn't feel right to me.

Placing my hand against my baby bump I went up the stairs and I was halfway there when I changed my mind and went back down the stairs. I wanted to place the cake in front of him in one go and not having to come back down for it.

The minutes seemed to drag on and with every five to ten minutes the passed, his footsteps became louder until I couldn't take it anymore and decided to go check up on the cake to see if it was anywhere near done. The noise was becoming almost unbearable for me to listen to.

At last the cake seemed about ready and the knife confirmed my thoughts as I plunged one in the cake to see if it was done. The cake looked pretty good and taking the nutella out, I spread it out in the middle.

It still didn't look completed though so remembering that we finally did buy some ice cream, I took a scoop out and placed it on a plate while cutting a slice out for him and me both to eat. I just hoped he likes it.

Both plates were in my hand and I slowly made my up the stairs, careful not to drop anything on the floor, or me for that matter. The door to our room was closed and I couldn't exactly open it with both the plates taking up space.

"Isa open the door." I didn't hear a reply back but the shuffling around and footsteps approaching the door said that was in fact coming to open to door for me.

When he opened the door, he didn't even take a second glance towards me and instead carried on walking around the room which was seriously starting to make my head spin. Nevertheless I still went up to him.

Leaving my plate on the bedside table, I took his plate with me and stood behind him. With a tap on his shoulder, he turned around to face me with an expressionless face.

"I'm sorry about reading the letter, so I decided to make you some cake to make up for it. I know I won't be forgiven by just making you a cake but it's something I suppose." I ended with a smile and brought the cake up to his face.

For a minute there I thought he would have left it but slowly the smile creeped up on his face and he took the plate from my hands and set it down. Next thing I knew I was in a hug with Isa holding on to me and I found myself hugging back.

"There's nothing to forgive and I'm blessed to have a wife like you. Come let's eat." He said and lead me to the bed where we sat and ate our cake.

Life seemed so carefree at this moment but we both knew better; this wouldn't last and especially when the letter was left to be given to Alex himself. The idea of seeing him again scared me though I know Isa would probably tell me not to go, I definitely will be.

Again; it's my choice.

***

Asalaamalikum guys, another early update because I found the last chapter a little boring even though a lot of things were happening in there. Tell me your thoughts about this chapter and Insha'Allah if I can, I will write another early chapter for you awesome people!

Dedicated to @Dreamer_271 which I should have dedicated ages ago but forgot, but she gave my book a shout out on instagram which I appreciate and if you have instagram then follow her: @elsalln, and if you want to follow me then @sumayyaaaa is mine.

Have a Day and May God Bless You All.