Friday morning

Adriana's pov

When jerk face brought me home last night, nothing really happened, I was too tired so I just went to sleep, and now here I am waiting for Kayla to come get me.

"Morning" Ashton says as he enters the living room.

"Hey" I answer looking up from my phone.

"You didn't tell me what happened last night with Jace" Ashton points out.

"Hum yeah, I was tired so I just went to sleep" I tell him.

"Well, I'm here now, what happened?" He asks me.

What am I supposed to say now?

'Oh nothing really happened, me and your best friend were about to kiss, and it's not the first time that it happens, actually one time, I was also straddling his lap, but you know, just the usual'

I'm very funny, ha.

"Adriana?" Ashton asks bringing me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah, hum, nothing really happened we just talked I guess" The 'I guess' is the realest part in my sentence.

"Okay?" He answers but it turns out more like a question.

"Oh look I gotta go, Kayla's here" I rush and leave the house.

Well technically I wasn't lying, Kayla was actually waiting for me, saved by the bell, or should I say by Kayla?

Oh no. I still need to tell her what happened with jerk face yesterday, well, this car ride is gonna be fun, for you maybe, but definitely not for me.

"Hey" I sigh as I sit on the passenger seat.

"You okay Adriana?" Kayla asks worry written over her face.

"Nothing is okay Kayla! I'm so sick of jerk face! I don't know what's going on with me, but I'm constantly thinking about him! I always want to be near him! I can't stay mad at him nor keep my distances! Yesterday we were about to kiss AGAIN! I was conscious about my actions and how I would feel afterwards so I backed away, I saw how hurt he was when I told him that we are just friends! But it hurted me so much! I don't understand what's happening to me! I'm getting attached to him Kayla, and it's growing bigger and bigger everyday! And I'm scared! Scared of hurting myself, I'm scared" I finish and now tears were streaming down my face.

I collapsed into Kayla's arms, she stroked my hair to calm me down while I cried and cried harder.

"Oh Adri, I don't know what to say, I get that you're scared and that you're afraid of getting hurt, but doing what is easy is no way to live, and life without passion and love is so far beneath what you deserve, don't hold yourself back because you're afraid or because you've been hurt, acknowledge your fear, accept it, and walk through it with confidence, everyone is going to hurt you in some point in your life. It is up to you to figure out who is worth suffering for, Adriana, you're getting attached to jerk face, accept it, don't reject it, it will hurt you even more, your feelings are coming back day after day, and don't, try to deny it, it's okay to love, and it is up to you to figure out who is worth suffering for, don't deny your feelings you will hurt yourself and him on the way, the past is in the past, yes, I don't mean to forget everything he did, you already forgave him, which is good btw, but you can't keep thinking about the past everyday, what happened, happened, you need to move on Adriana, maybe this time you won't regret it, talk to him about it, you'll feel better." Kayla finishes.

Kayla words stood out to me, are my feeling coming back? Do I actually like him? Should I stop bringing up the past and move on? And most importantly, should I give jerk face another chance?

"What are you thinking about?" Kayla asks me as she parks the car in the school's parking lot.

"Everything" I sigh "You're so right Kayla, everything you said is right, I need to accept my fear and trust in myself more, jerk face hurt me years ago, I need to move on, I'm not only hurting myself by rejecting him, I'm also hurting him, I'm gonna talk to him, I don't know when, but I am going to, I just need to find the good opportunity, I don't think that he wants to talk to me right now, when we were about to kiss I gave the speech about how we should keep our distances, thank you Kay for being here for me all the time, I'm so grateful for having a best-friend like you, I think I like jerk face, and I'm not going to deny it, I'm done with letting my fear get in the way, I'm gonna talk to him soon, tell him everything about our past, and I'll see by his reaction if he's worth it or not." I clarify looking at Kayla.

"I'm so proud of you Adriana, I love you so much, and if he hurts you, I'll deal with him" She says cracking her knuckles making me laugh.

"I love you too" I respond before jumping out of the car.

I like jerk face, it's a little scary, I have to admit it, but I can't be scared for the rest of my life, I will have to move on from it a day or another, I'm just a tiny bit scared of his reaction when I'll tell him about everything, and then I'll know if he's worth giving another chance, or not.

But now, let's get today over with.

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"Next week-" The teacher was cut off by me opening the door, late as always.

She sighs in annoyance "Aren't you supposed to be suspended Adriana?"

"It's great to see you too" I say sarcasm dripping from my mouth.

She rubs her temples and gives up "That's what I thought" I mumble to myself as I sit in my usual spot.

"Now, as I way saying, next week, the class of Mr Binney will attend this class so we could work together for the Romeo and Juliet performance" She claps her hands and smile.

WHAT?!

"Ma'am, who is performing Romeo and Juliet?" I ask unsure.

"Our class and Mr Binney's of course" She answers in a 'duh' tone.

"And who's gonna be Juliet?" I ask nervously.

"Well, that's for me to know and you to find out! After lunch you'll have to list of the roles on the school's secretary board, see you then!" The teacher explain and that's when the bell rings.

You're probably lost right now, so let me clear it up for you.

Basically, next week, as I just found out, my class and ASHTON'S class are gonna be working together to put up Romeo's and Juliet's play.

One hour ago, I finally acknowledged the fact that I might like jerk face, and he's in Ashton's class! What if he gets picked to play Romeo, and I get picked to play Juliet! I'll have to kiss him! Please help me out here.

As I made my way to the cafeteria, stress never left me, reason number 1: I'm gonna see jerk face for the first time after I acknowledged the fact that I might like him.

Number 2: Things are still awkward between us ever since the other night, where I rejected him badly.

Number 3: He and I might be picked to play Romeo and Juliet.

But you know what, there's no reason to stress right? Note the sarcasm.

I opened the cafeteria's door, bought my food and walked towards our usual table.

"Hey guys" I say nervously as I sit down next to Kayla.

Kayla is sitting next to me and Sophia is sitting across from us.

"What's wrong?" Kayla asks me.

Ugh sometimes I hate that she can read me like an open book.

"Nothing, I'm fine why?" I ask with the fakest smile on earth.

Is that even a word?

She shrugs "U seem upset" She points out.

"Well I'm alright" I tell her "By the way where is Ashton? Oh and jerk face?" I add.

"They're sitting on they're table" Sophia's points to the table in front of me "That's weird, they have been sitting with us for the past month what changed?" She questions raising her eyebrow.

"I don't know they probably missed sitting with their friends" I lie as I look over at Kayla to find her already looking at me with the 'we both know that's not it' look.

Jerk face probably didn't want to sit next to us, after the other day, I need to apologize I really hurt him badly, and it kinda hurts me too.

Kayla and Sophia start talking about, things, I wasn't paying attention, lost in my thoughts.

Just seeing jerk face ignoring me is breaking my heart, am I making the right choice by letting my walls down? Am I gonna be hurt again?

Please don't hurt me again jerk face.

Tears were filling my eyes and blurring my vision, I was scared, stressed and unsure.

I mean look at him, he's giving me the cold shoulder, I know that I deserve it but what if he says hurtful things to me again? What if he hurts me more?! I CAN'T GO THROUGH THIS AGAIN I CAN'T.

Tears were threatening to fall, I felt like I was being watched, I looked up only to meet beautiful dark green eyes staring in my soul, jerk face.

I wipe the tears that fell over my cheeks before taking my bag and leaving the cafeteria.

I'm having a panic attack, AT SCHOOL EVEN BETTER.

I start running down the hallway to get out of school, once I'm finally out I see that it's raining, and that's when I broke down crying my heart out.

STRESS

I cry.

PAIN

I cry harder.

OVERTHINKING

I cry till I can't breath.

LOVE, PRESSURE, TENSION, PAST, WORRY, ANXIETY, SUFFERING, LOVE-TRAUMA.

EXHAUSTION.

I can't breath anymore, it's too much, not only jerk face, but everything, ALL OF MY LIFE I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE.

I'M HURTING AND NOBODY SEES THAT, I CRY AT NIGHT IN MY ROOM, MAKING SURE TO CRY SILENTLY, NOBODY SEES THAT.

I'M EXHAUSTED.

I collapsed on the floor, my field of vision blacking out my skin is cold and clammy, and that's when my eyes give up on me.