Words Count- 4050
Attached Song- Aaj Jaane ki zid na karo by Papon.
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[ Neha Mehra ]

I stroked the long fine lines, horizontally scribbled on his forehead with my thumb tenderly as my fingers tousled his salt-and-pepper hair. His wilting body was flagged and laid spiritless before my moist eyes. His listless visage was glowing in tranquillity. My eyes drank in his lethargic time ravaged and chiselled face, that was nestled in the valley of my two palms.

"Papa" I addressed him. It felt so long, I pronounced it. That was so selfish of me to not call him once. How could I leave him all by himself these past two years?

His face appeared world-weary as his angelic and vivacious smile chanced upon me. His gnarled fingers curled around my thumb as I heard his fast yet faltering voice after so long.

"My princess has become so lean. Isn't it, Ruchi?" His feeble sound fell in our ears. I nodded, laughing.

"And, you've become so fat," I muttered, poking his protruding belly.

"Why not, I got my wife all to myself for these two years to feed me and take care of me without a tall devil between us." Papa had his lopsided smirk on.

"Why didn't you tell your wife to dye your hair? You resemble a 90-year oldie." I taunted as I saw Mumma entering inside the room.

"Yes, scold this Oldie. He didn't even tell me he had chest pain for the last two weeks and fainted in the office two days ago. I just got to know from his P.A." Mumma huffed, as Papa pouted.

"What's the thing that you have been thinking so much?" She demanded.

"Woman, I am sick. Instead of pampering me, why are you scolding me?" Papa started his melodrama.

"Papa, what has been troubling you so much?" I asked, resting our entwined hands on my lap.

"It's nothing. Tell me, how's life treating you both?" He counter-questioned as his eyes moved from me to Raaz, talking on his phone through the oval glass section of the well-polished mahogany door.

"We are good, papa. Both of us were isolated together and got discharged just a week ago." I replied with a smile as my eyes glanced at the transparent part of the door and on that passing moment, our eyes met through the glass door. A small smile kissed his lips, reciprocating my smile. He ran his fingers on his unkempt hair, making it more uncanny than it already was.

"Finally, It looks like I can expect my fourth grandchild now." He whispered to Mumma, to which they shared a laugh.

"Fourth grandchild?" I was befuddled.

"Along with you and Sachin, I have two more children now. Kaustuv and Kiara. After Jeevan and buggie, now Kiara is giving me another grandchild. So, if your baby will come, it will be my fourth grandchild. Isn't it? " He stated.

"Kiara Di is pregnant?" I asked to confirm, to which Mumma nodded.

"Ruchi, my kids are indeed so slow. One is not ready to get married, and the other one doesn't try." He complained, to which I whined.

"I've heard everything from Ruchi. Dear, sometimes we realise the value of our close ones when they are lost. Maybe, you both met at the wrong time but Neha, he is a gem. Don't ever lose him", He advised to which I nodded.

"Papa, I am just searching for the right moment to confess my feelings for him," I answered.

"Baby, there's no such accurate moment. You need to make the moment right to speak your heart out or else, you will just keep waiting and won't even realise, you have already lost him. So, do it soon. You have already delayed enough." He suggested and Mumma affirmed. I nodded in response.

This is the reason, I missed Papa. He always has the solution to all my queries.

Flashback ~ a week ago.

"Neha, rise up. There's a call from Mom." I felt a shake, that towed me out of my sleep.

"Yes?" I checked the clock and it was only 2:30 am.

"We need to leave now. Dad fainted." He informed, and my blood ran cold.

"Raaz, it's not a topic to joke about. You know, right?" I shouted, as tears brimming in my eyes.

"I am not joking. Mom called and informed me just now. As Sachin is leaving for his fieldwork deployment tomorrow to Jammu & Kashmir, both he and Dad planned an all nighter to discuss life and enjoy the night but he fainted ten minutes ago. Now, hurry up." The seriousness in his tone, made me shudder in terror. As quickly as possible, we drove to my parents home. I was just standing still, allowing a blanket of blankness to roll over me like a sheet as I saw him treating my dad with utmost care. From injecting my dad with drugs and studying his ECG, chest X-Ray and cardiac MRI, to setting up the IV drip in his veins, he did it all alone and quite diligently.

"It was a silent cardiac arrest. Though it didn't do any harm to him, still pay more attention to his health because it can reoccur in a more hazardous way. He also seems over-stressed, try to talk to him and ease his worries. He has certain blocks in his arteries, but I hope they will dissolve with medications soon." He explained as I felt life seeping inside my spiritless body again.

That day, I begged multiple sorries to both of them for abandoning them just because they didn't try to understand me, without even putting an effort from my side to pacify them.

The next day, as Raaz left for the hospital just for a first shift, I stayed back home. I sat beside mom and told her everything that has been happening in my life, from the first day of my marriage.

Repeating the same in front of her and opening my heart out to her, I realised how flawed I was at those times. How childish and immature, I behaved with him from the initial days of our marriage, though he too was not right in hiding things from me at least he never denied sharing them in the future someday. He was right, I lacked patience in me. I should've waited for a little longer for him to disclose all his life parts to me. I should've trusted him. Never in my life, have I analysed my life so well as I did while narrating everything before her.

She indeed scolded me for my silliness and stupid folly.

"Neha, no relationship is ever perfect. Even the most beautiful marriages have certain flaws within them, which we are not aware of. Seeing afar everything looks good, you sight the problems they face only when you get closer. Therefore, what's gone is gone. I know, it was wrong on our part to tell you every time that you will get married to Viraj Mehta and become Smita's daughter-in-law from your childhood itself. We admit it and are very sorry for the same. We should've allowed you to find your man, as per your choice. Not get you infatuated with someone, you never saw. But, I can see how much you have started to love Surfraaz. So listen to me, give him a chance. Accept him with open arms, and trust him with your heart to love you the same way you do. Life can be hard sometimes, but love gives you the courage to conquer over it." She patted my head, which was cradled in her lap.

" I've seen him longingly stare at you and take care of you all the time. This shows that he has accepted you with your flaws, your silliness and your stubbornness. What you've done can't be undone. But, Don't let him down again and break his faith in love altogether." She smiled at me with a subtle warning.

❄

We heard a knock on the door, that made us aware of Raaz's presence.

"Come here." My papa asked him to stand near him.

"Yes, Dad. Do you need something?" He inquired, bewildered.

Papa stood up as his knobbly knees handled his body's strength. He sat on the bed, just at the side of Raaz.

"Why did you knock back then?" Papa asked in a stern tone.

This oldie is never done with his drama!

"I thought all of you must be discussing important stuff. It doesn't feel good to barge inside abruptly." He replied, rubbing his nape. Soon, all of us were laughing at his nervous demeanour.

"Dear, you need not knock. You are family too." My Mumma said, as her eyes pointed me to stand near his sitting figure. Upon her eyed command, I hesitantly wrapped my arm around his slumped shoulder and felt him stiffening under my touch. As his eye caught me red-handed peeping at his face through my long lashes, I averted my gaze away.

"I can't believe, I am ultimately getting a grandchild," Papa whispered, and Raaz's head turned to him so fast that I doubted it would split apart from his spinal cord. My Mumma smacked his head, as he glared at her with a pout.

"Stop being a spoilsport." He hissed with a pout, rubbing his head.

Raaz forwarded a paper bag to my mother and handed me a strip of multivitamin tablets. We were continuing these supplements to revitalise our lost energy, as prescribed by Vyom bhaiya.

We sat at the dining table, as I served the packed food into plates. Spinach and mushroom veg lasagna, Tomato and olive penne, prawn biryani and white sauce pasta.

I wanted us to share from a single plate but he, being a vegetarian won't like his food mixing up with non-veg food. So, I quickly feasted on Prawn biryani.

Kinds of seafood have always been my favourite from my childhood. Most of all, prawn is something I can eat all day.

I don't like fish much, cause its tedious to pick out those tiny-miny bones all over them, and not to forget their overbearing smell. I am more of a 'chicken' person, when it comes to choosing between fish and chicken as no one in my family eats mutton.

If I wished to eat mutton, though no one could deny me still I never felt the urge to be a rebel. In short, mutton never enticed me enough to break my family's age-old tradition and taste it.

As I was done polishing the disposable plate of Prawn biryani clean, I threw it away and washed my hands so that I could join my vegan hubby-bubby's plate. Coming back, I saw Raaz still eating the same tomato olive penne while typing something on his phone.

I stole his phone and kept it aside.

"No other work at the dining table, except eating." I tried to sound stern, the exact way my Mumma does with Papa.

"Okay." He nodded.

Phew, That was easy.

I shocked him again as I scooted closer to his chair and tasted the food from his plate. I don't know why, but it felt right.

It was the best tomato penne, I had ever tried. I placed my fork, holding a spicy longitudinal penne with onions near his lips. His eyes gleamed for an unknown reason as his palm clutched my wrist while his both jaw set clipped against the flat sharpened end of the fork, taking away the spiced penne into his mouth.

As I was about to feed him white sauce pasta, he denied it.

"I don't eat it." He pointed. I nodded and then, we shared the lasagna, sequentially feeding each other. We gulped the Multivitamin tablets as we finished eating.

"I wanna drive the car." I nudged him as we bid our goodbyes to my parents. We had been staying at my parents' place for the last 6 days to take care of them. He threw the car keys at me, which I skillfully caught in time.

"Nice catch." He complimented.

The complete ride was a silent affair. This silence too had a beauty of its own, so we dared not to perturb the serenity in the ambience as the soft breezes let my hairs irritate me. The eerie stillness was disrupted by me, as I turned on the FM Radio.

Each word of 'Aaj jane ki zid na Karo swirled in the cool and soothing environment of the car, some fluttering out through my half-sealed glass window.

I never realised the beauty and richness of these words and this drowning melody until today. I saw the man sleeping, laid on the seat beside me. Calmness covered every inch of his visage, as the gusts of air played with his hair. I found my fingers getting pulled to feel their texture.

Giving in to my heavy urge, I accepted defeat by ruffling his hair to set them. It was indeed hay vanquish, as I felt a strange sensation spiralling through me. A queer, fuzzy excitement erupted in the pit of my stomach. The defeat, I will cherish to face every time.

I was determined to follow my heart.

Accept him.

Whatever may come, knocking on us!

I proceeded to drive as my palm moulded with his palm, which sat limply on his lap over his other palm.

"What changed?" I minutely jumped, hearing his voice.

"Huh?"

"I will come straight to the point. Why are you acting weird near me?" His voice fell into my ears, apart from his deep inhalations. Those were the only voices that surrounded us in the stillness of the car.

My eyes were set on the road. The headlights of the car make a way of brightness for us to drive through the slowly sinking violets of the sky drowning into the blackness of oblivion.

"People do change." I mused, sighting the birds flapping their wings energetically after the long day of the flight because, at the length, it was time to reach home.

Home.

The same home that I've began to unfold and find in the man, taking a seat beside me. Trying to read my soul through his eyes. Still oblivious of my love for him, but not for long.

"I have something to tell you," I whispered, as my hush swayed till his ears by air, the cupid of our communication.

I could feel uneasiness and tension radiating off him.

I was amazed too, seeing how easily they read his features.

"You don't need to do these things because your parents want you to carry out this marriage. It's not necessary." He prodded.

I knew my answer won't satisfy him, so I kept quiet. Soon enough, I drove towards the driveway of our building's parking. He followed me inside, confused as to why we came here instead of going to the Mehta Mansion.

"Freshen up. We need to talk." He nodded, as we both settled on our way to get ready for the long night ahead.

I saw him sitting on our bed as his eyes were stuck on the large glass window on the mid-wall, showcasing the merry waters lapping against the rocky shoreline of Juhu, amidst the starry dark sphere.

Though his features seemed calm, his deep-set eyes gave away the confidential chaos whirling in the ocean of his emotions, which was certainly anything but peaceful.

I padded a step towards him barefoot. The wintery touch of the tiles feathered the bare soles of my foot as if asking me, are you ready?

I had an idea about what my unveiled feelings would wrought this night. And, I was ready.

Am I ready to be his calmness?

I still feel chills, reminiscing our convalescing phase in the ICU. The fear that haunted me daily, told me how precious each second is when you have no idea what could your plight be in the coming period.

"Don't waste time", Papa's voice rang me in the back of my brain.

I used to keep thinking each day, what if I won't survive?

What if I can't share my feelings with Raaz anyday?

I would ponder about how we wasted our first seven months of marriage, doing nothing. Just being reckless. But seven months that day felt so much of a lengthy time of life to be spent aimlessly. That is how I learnt my lesson, the hard way.

I had no energy to wait anymore, so I decided to make us work and make this time, the perfect time for us. As it's always the earlier, the better.

My mind screamed at me, "It's now or never."

Hence, shrugging all those pessimistic thoughts at the faraway corner of my mind, I trudged more towards him. That was when my feet faltered, deciding to slip out of the blue.

All the courage, I had mustered up suddenly evaporated off me as his stout arm held me, preventing the fall that awaited me and his honey-brown orbs pierced right through my soul. I wondered, how did I never drown in these eyes?

His gaze was undressing my eyes, bare of my darkest and most secretive mysteries. The intensity that his eyes held trembled me enough to have this instant desire to run away from him so badly before he reads all of the secrets of my existence.

I was falling for him more.

Can I fall for him anymore?

His grip on my waist was detaching slowly. Why was he leaving me?

Before his hold could completely slacken from me, I said something.
Something I never thought, I would ever say.

"I need you."

While I was engrossed in reading his every single change of facial muscles in his visage, I saw his forehead creased as he stepped away from me and he briskly inversed to the other side. His beam is constant at the now sombre sea.

The way he turned around, did hurt!

But, I knew better than to not back out. I vacantly observed him for a good time. I towed him to face my gaze as both my hands encapsulated his hands like a sandwich.

"Raaz, I need you to give us just a last chance. I need you to be my strength in my tough days, care for me when I'm sick, sing for me in my bad days, cuddle me with love. I need you to tell me your favourites and dislikes like you tell Saanvi, to teach me how to understand you as Priya does, to pamper me as you do for your doll, to laugh with me like you do with your friends and lastly, I need you to love me like you love Dad, Arjun bhaiya, bhabhi and our family. For the rest of our lives. This time I won't let down. So, will you do it? Will you help me to fill in the cracks of our marriage, Raaz?" The earlier morose was replaced by a frisky look on his countenance.

"Why do you need me to do all these long lists of stuff for you? I-"

"Because I missed you calling me by your fancy name 'Poco Loco'. Moreover, I can't live my life without my idiot." I crushed him in a bear hug, after cutting him off swiftly. His arms were still down.

"But, Do you-" Again, I cut his off by clasping my comparatively warm lips with his cold ones. I have always believed in living in the moment with no 'ifs' and 'buts', and I neither wanted to hear any 'but' on our budding relationship.

His unique lavender blended citrus scent was curling my body into a ball of desire, while his cinnamon breath tainted me to have my way with him. My senses were haywire and I knew, I wanted him badly. His unresponsive behaviour made me withdraw and look into his eyes. He seemed taken aback by my desperation.

Up next, he pulled me into him with a fervent force as my back smashed on his chest. My lips brushed his, softly, delicately, like butterfly wings, just long enough that I could feel the warmth of his skin, and the taste of his lips lingered far after the warmth was gone.

He kissed me like he wanted to be kissed in the most vibrantly passionate way possible.

It was soft, moist, hot and breathy, where there was no wish to dominate but seeking completion, closeness and the sharing of a single breath in a timeless and passionate moment.

Heat rose up my cheeks as his thumb rubbed over my cheeks. Quick electric sensations that transpired made our heads dizzy and hazy, ushering the birth of a new explosive emotion underneath me.

"Neha, Are you sure to take us forward ?" He hushed. His frantic voice sounded out jazzy with a hint of hoarseness coupled in it as his dilated honey brown were morphing into their darkest shades of brown.

Probably, into the shade of amethyst.

My single nod leased him to explore me as none did before and he happily complied. The upper half of my night suit was swiftly discarded by his frantic yet feeble fingers. His stare was set on my eyes as if to grant him consent as his point of restraint was left far behind.

His finger tugged on my hairband and let loose my dense locks, covering my bareback.

[Caution - mild mature content ahead]

His push made my bareback feel the chilled glass pane, as a hiss released my lips. He closed the distance between our bodies as his clothed chest pressed against my mine. His arms swaddled me, his homely warmth left me enticed as he caged me.

We were now more determined, and more curious to explore the heat that lay within, seeking to chase down that elusive lightning that could course amid us, as the vast and noisy sea shamelessly gawked at him playing with my peach seamless bra, the only barrier of his eyes on my upper body.

The thumb of his other hand teased my navel. For a moment, I saw his eyes distracted to drown in the relentlessly bustling sea ahead, as the moon lit up over it and the stars sang her a melody of their own.

I slipped my palm inside his tee to gauge his emotions. But, as always he was a closed book. His forefinger pulled my strap down and I felt wetness in my bare shoulder. It was his tongue excitedly tasting my skin as if there's no tomorrow.

An unusual squeal twisted out of my lips, as his teeth grazed near my earlobe before his palm touched my breast, which erupted millions of goosebumps in my body. He interrupted at the same drawer to pick out something, as I was too occupied to pay heed to it.

The young night ripened into our synchronisation with that of the sea, with the lapping waves of highs and lows as we shared a promise of being in sync always until the time lapses in an era, where the existence of love dies. A vow of forever. An amalgamation of our souls and an intimacy to share pain and pleasure equally, no bias indulged.

The shy moon as if hushing the secrets of our probable propositions in the comfortable confines to the crook and crevices of the night amber through its silvery touch, running like a girl with a torch.

The soft pad of his thumb traced my eyelashes, after he propped me up to the pool of hot water tub, easing and reviving my strained and aching soft muscles. Sooner, my eyes gave up falling into the land of my dreams as a particular someone's smoothly gliding touch on my naked back felt nightmarish.

Before I was robbed of my consciousness, I listened to a faint voice. Vulnerability, pain and love laced in that tone.

"Neha, don't let me down this time."

Never!

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Hey guys,

Thank you for being so patient with my irregular updates. Hope you are doing well.

Well, you guys got a surprise update because it's my birthday today. Hehe. Enjoy the treat well.

Btw, How was the update?

I hope you enjoyed it. Take care of yourself and family.

Thank you for reading. Bye bye, see ya :)

Love,
B❤