Drew

Samantha didn't wake up. She didn't budge and I continued to watch her subtle breathing as I slowly sank into the realization of it all. The realization that I was losing the people that I love.

A presence sat down next to me and I didn't bother to look. Soon, the familiar aroma of macadamia and soft vanilla encircled me. It was quiet for a while until she finally spoke up.

"I'm here because I care about you and I want us to work," she said. "I..."

I turned my head to face her-- Lauren--and was confronted by her dark chocolate eyes.

"I want us to try. That's all," she finished. I locked my eyes with her penetrating gaze before turning away again. Taken back, she stood up abruptly and lingered above me. She was so quiet with her movements that I had to turn my head to verify that she had left. I sighed deeply and focused my attention on Samantha and all the pain I called for personally.

Lauren

I set down my belongings by the door and slumped into the sofa. Two days had passed since I was at the hospital and in those two days Drew and I hadn't exchanged glances nonetheless a few words but then again today was his first day back. I remembered sitting behind Drew in Will's car this morning--literally only a few inches away--and not speaking a word to him. I felt like there was a knife tracing my heart and I was bleeding out. The pain of silence might as well have been a blade to my skin.

The engine of a car in the driveway alerted me and I waited for the jangling of keys that came soon afterward. The door opened widely and I heard loud conversations. I recognized my mom and Cat whose hair was pulled into a tight bun.

"Sorry we're late but we have to get started on dinner right away. Cat volunteered to help. I'd like it if you'd join," my mom said walking into the kitchen.  I followed. "Will is inviting a friend over and I'd like to get as many hands in as possible."

"Erm, friend?" I questioned.

Cat turned to face me and plastered a smirk on her face,"Yes, friend. I believe his name is Drew Law? Although I'm not sure. I think you'd be able to correct me, right?"

We kept our gazes locked before I turned away flustered. Cat smiled and asked,"So what's the meal for tonight?"

"I'm thinking your Aunt's famous casserole. How does that sound?" my mom said. I tuned out the rest of their conversation and pondered over the deafening silence I was going to face at the dinner table. By the time the food was complete, I had decided to eat silently, pass whatever dish that needed transporting, then excuse myself.

At seven o'clock I was seated to the right of my mom and Catalina. The two empty seats before me had not yet been occupied. I sighed nervously still not fond of my plan and stared at the clear plate. There was a sound at the door and my mom stood up.

"It must be them," she said smiling ready to welcome the two.

Cat replicated my mom's eager grin and said,"How wonderful." Because my back faced the doorway, I only saw Drew when he was standing right in front of me, handsome with his plaid top and ruffled hair. His eyes shifted towards mine then he instantly averted them.

"Mrs. Gray, it's nice to see you," he said beaming at her. I rolled my eyes and hoped he didn't notice. I listened as he greeted Cat and sat down by Will.

"Before we begin eating, I would like to say grace." my mom stated.

"May I?" Cat asked sweetly. I shot her a look and waited for her to begin. "Lord, thank you for this food that you have blessed us with and the wondrous days given to us. I am ever so grateful for the presence of Drew whom I may now associate with as a brother or better yet a brother-in-law but, that's none of my business. Any who, thank you for forgiving us for our many, many sins including adultery, murder, and lying..." She turned to me and asked,"Would you like to add anything, Lauren?" 

Initially shocked, I stammered out,"Uh, no," then look down ashamed.

"Okay, then," Cat said smiling widely.  "Amen." We all chimed our amens and began eating. I managed to follow up on my plan until my mom asked Drew a question:

"So, how are your parents coping with Samantha?"

I watched as Drew turned his attention toward her and answered politely,"Fine. She's a fighter, you know, and I'm certain we'll make it out of this battle."

My mom smiled,"Amen. I pray for you guys every night. With William Senior, it was tough and you just have to take it one step at a time..." I faced her as soon as she mentioned my dad's name. We hadn't spoke about him in a long time.

"He had cancer?" Drew asked.

"Lung," my mom said quietly.

Cat, who had been quiet the whole time, spoke, "Can we please not talk about him?"

"I think it's important to talk about things," Will said finally.

"Really?" Cat rasped. "How about Trey? It's something we keep avoiding in this house." My heart pounded in my chest and I was certainly turning a fierce red. I kept poking at the casserole, not facing Cat.

"How about we talk about the fact that I'm not the one who really belongs in rehab? Or--or the fact that Lauren overdosed in the ninth, freaking, grade!" she said exasperatedly.

"Catalina!" my mom interjected.

"No, no, mom. It's important to talk about things," she repeated harshly. I continued to stare at the plate that was now covered with leftover pasta. I didn't want to look up and see four pairs of judging eyes--four people prepared to condemn me.

Eat silently, check. Pass dishes, check...

"Excuse me," I said getting up slowing and walking quickly outside. I found myself in the backyard and paced back and forth until I rested my back on the brick wall breathing heavily.

I heard footsteps appear soon after and I glanced behind me to see Drew watching me in concern then he said,"Why didn't you tell me this before?"

"How could I? It was going to go in one ear and out the other?" I exclaimed.

"Lauren--"

"No, It's true!" I interjected. "You've been ignoring me for the past few days and I don't understand what it's about."

"It's because you won't tell me anything about what's going on!"

"No," I stated. "It's because you won't talk to me about anything and you're having trouble coping with Samantha's condition. Do I really have to analyze you to get to know what's going on with you? Do I?"

"No, you don't. You just have to ask."

"But you won't answer!" I replied on the verge of tears. "I try to--every day I try to talk to you and you just get further and further away from me. I want to help--"

"You can't!" he yelled. He ran his hand through his hair quickly and the silence resurfaced.

Drew

She continued to stare at me, shrinking every second I was standing in front of her. She couldn't help me because in those two days that I was at the hospital, Samantha's condition had progressively gotten worse.

Shrunken by defeat, Lauren gazed up at me a said in a small voice, "You should have said no to the dinner because I can't stand being this close to you and not being able to reach through to you."

And with that, she left me scrambling to regain what remained of myself: broken pieces of hope and sadness. I let my thoughts wander until I decided to head back inside and tell the Gray's that I was leaving.

Once inside my car, I found the autopsy papers for Anna and stared at the plain manilla. Though it was only a few months ago, the emptiness from loss reentered my body when I opened the folder and flipped through the papers.

Certain phrases stood out such as Anna Gabrielle Law, July 21, 2014, death. My eyes were blurred by the text then at the back I found the single line for my signature and scribbled my name. It was time, I thought, to stop avoiding this.

I began driving to Alison's house to deliver the files. I stood outside the door and knocked patiently. After a few minutes, she still didn't respond. I looked around the door and, like I expected, found the spare key under the flower pot.

I pushed the door open slowly and called out,"Alison."

I contoured the house and heard a loud faucet upstairs. I had been to her house before and planned to leave the folder on her dresser.

"Ali," I called out, "I'm comin' up."

I turned a corner and noticed that her room was wide open. "Alison," I said aloud, "I'm just gonna leave the files on your dresser. I finally signed it."

I prepared to leave when I heard the ooze sound of my shoes on water. The small river of water underneath me led to the bathroom where the water was trickling out. I rushed to the bathroom door and tried to open it.

Panic soared through me when it didn't budge. I gave the door a hard shove. "Alison!" I yelled with worry etching every syllable,"Alison!"

I gave the door repeated shoves with my shoulder until the door let up. I searched wildly for her and approached the flooding tub. Curled up into a fetal position, lied Alison under the water with a sickly blue complexion and fragile bones. I didn't hesitate to lunge for her drowning body and carry her out of the water.

The only thing I was thinking about was her weak heart beat, the absence of breath, and the possibility of losing someone I loved: Anna's mom.