Neither of us moved. Hanna stared intently at me and I tried to control my rapid breathing.

"Trey...?" she managed to choke out.

Three Years Ago

The air was muggy and Trey sat across from me on the bed. His blonde hair was disheveled and his deep green eyes were now hazed.

The drugs that had been laid out on the bed were now safely tucked away. The heavy stench still hovered over us not daring to leave.

I was watching him, afraid what to do next. He wasn't himself when he was high.

He took deep breaths and then turned to look at me. He smiled at me and I returned the smile wearily.

He slowly put his hand on my legs and inched his way up and stopped at my thighs. The electricity followed and my heart beat fast.

"Thank you," he started,"for meeting up with me."

He did his best to search my eyes. I placed my hands over his and frowned,"but Cat--"

"Don't mention her. I'm not seeing her anymore. I want you," he said.

I smiled as he pushed a strand of my dark hair out of my face.

"I love you," he said.

My heart skipped a beat and I stared at him. The beautiful, forestry that I used to identify as his eyes were no longer there. The tint of red in his eyes made me hesitant and I sensed the heat of his hand still caressing my thigh.

I intertwined my fingers in his and looked at him meaningfully. I remember my sister dropping hints to Trey that she was interested. I dropped my head as I remembered walking in on Trey and Catalina making out in the bedroom. But, I wanted him and he loved me.

"I love you, too," I replied.

He smiled and leaned in to kiss me when there was a sharp knock at the door.

Trey lazily got up and headed to the door. The person at the door wouldn't quit. The sharp, painful knocks rang through the whole room.

Trey opened the door and there was a young man, probably twenty-five at the least, standing in the doorway.

"Where's my money? I need my money," the man exclaimed pacing.

"Sorry, maybe next week--"

"No!" the man exclaimed,"I need my money now! Now, Trey, now!"

The man pushed Trey against the wall fiercely. Trey, though seventeen at the time, was just as big as the man pressed against him.

"Next week," Trey said firmly while pushing the man off of him. The man came back stronger and pushed Trey against the wall again. Hard.

He didn't even groan as he got up and punched the man in the face.

I let out a squeak and said,"Trey."

He ignored me and the two got into a full blown fist fight.

"Stop, stop," I yelled frightened,"Trey!"

With every punch the man threw at Trey, he'd return it even harder. Groans and sharp cries echoed through the room as I struggled to get them to stop.

"Trey!" I yelled out louder rising from the bed. I ran up to him and tried to yank his arm.  "You're gonna hurt him."

Trey snatched his arm from my grasp and I watched the man charge at him. It only to a second for Trey to use all his force and push him to the ground. And it only took a second for his head to hit the coffee table with a sickening crack.

"Oh," I whimpered. "Oh."

I held my hand over my mouth and watched the blood begin to drain from his head.

"Oh!" I sobbed. I placed my other hand on top of the other to prevent myself from throwing up.

Trey was staring at the man lying lifeless on the floor. The man's dark eyes stared blankly at the ceiling. The thick smell of weed was now being replaced with the lingering odor of death.

Trey was still glaring at the body when he finally said,"I need to clean this up."

My eyes widened and my heart beat fast,"Clean?"

He hurried up and headed towards the body to examine it.

"Clean?" I raised my voice beginning to sob again,"No, Trey, you can't."

He whipped his head to face me,"I can and I will. Are you out of your damn mind? There's only one solution--"

"Two," I corrected.

"Two? Are you saying...do you want me to go to jail?"

"No," I said,"but, this isn't right."

He frowned and looked at me,"Do you love me?"

I stared at him. His face was blotchy and bruised where there was impact. He looked into my eyes almost accusingly.

I let out a short breath and choked. I didn't know what to say. He continued to stare at me and I stayed silent.

"Do you love me?" he asked.

"Yes," I managed to say.

"Then it's done," he said.  "No one will have to know."

"What if he has a family--a kid?" I tried to protest.

"Lauren," he warned then slowly said,"It is done."

Present

I turned to Hanna who had been attentively listening the whole time.

"Trey...?" she questioned again softly.

"Yes," I replied in a shaky voice,"and I...I watched--"

"It wasn't your fault."

"And I cleaned," I argued with my eyes wide. I tried to forget the memory but it was useless. I had been doing so well from the point where Trey and Cat decided to run away together to the point where I met him again to pick up the money. Now, all I could think about was the blood...and the man...

A small tear fell down my cheek,"I did everything he told me to do like some kind of love-struck teen. I was so stupid. He didn't love me..."

Hanna didn't say anything as she slowly rubbed my knee.

"And I wanted to believe--I forced myself to believe that he did," I said shaking my head in disbelief.

I felt so weak and vulnerable. Tears overwhelmed my eyes but I was trying my best to prevent them from falling.

Hanna gazed into my eyes and said,"You were young. We all do dumb shit when we're young. We love, we hate, we fall, we fail..."

I sighed and watched Hanna give me a light smile,"But it isn't over. It's only over when we let these things consume us and drag us into the bottomless pit in which they came from. It's over when you let these things hurt you...it's not over, Lauren."

I smiled at her and she returned the smile. I didn't know what I was going to do or what I was going to say. I just knew that I needed to see Drew. I needed to let him know that it wasn't over.

"Thank you, Han," I said. She shrugged her shoulders and gave me an embracing hug. I fell into her chest grateful for her.

Drew

I shut my eyes tightly letting the darkness close around me. Samantha entered surgery five hours ago and the clock was still ticking.

I took a deep breath in...out...

In this world--the one covered with an unearthly darkness, I felt no pain... no sorrow.

Five hours was a lot of time to think especially about Lauren. At first, I couldn't avoid the soaring pain of disappointment and sadness that seemed to take over my body. By hour three, there was only sadness. Then, I was confused. What did she have to hide?

By hour five, now, I couldn't feel anything. I allowed the darkness to settle and let my thoughts thin away.

"Sleeping?" I heard. I opened my eyes abruptly to see Alison smiling.

"Uh, no," I replied.

"I must be boring you then..." she trailed.

"No, I've just got a lot on my mind. You were saying..." I said.

"Nothing. It isn't important, but what is important is you. Samantha's going to come out of that surgery and she'll say she's happy to see you and you'll call her your princess..." she gave me a warm smile and placed her hand on my cheek. I flinched and she frowned,"What's going on? You used to love it when I--"

"Not anymore," I interjected quickly.

Her eyes seemed sad as she removed her hands from my cheek and gazed up at me,"I'm here for you. Though I don't know what we are now, I know that we used to love each other."

I stayed silent as I took in her familiar aqua blue eyes.

"And I still do," she said. I locked my gaze with her and her eyes remained persistent with her feelings.

I turned away sharply. I missed the chocolate ones that always seemed to arise a smile in me. I longed for the way they brightened when she was excited. I longed for Lauren.

Alison cleared her throat, "I'll, uh, get some coffee downstairs for the both of us."

I let go of the deep breath I was holding and heard Alison swiftly walk away. As soon as I was left alone, the numb feeling of emptiness was replaced by a throbbing stream of longing and it pained me to know that I couldn't have who I wanted most.