CAMERON

"Where is this?" she inquires as we enter through the gate.

I had driven us to Hawthorne Asylum, where I knew the food cart pods were better than the one she visited with her cousin.

"You'll find the coolest local food trucks here. Everything is incredible. It's a park, not too fancy; you can just be yourself," I share as we stroll, her eyes wandering around the lively food park under the light bulbs.

"A food park!" she gasps. "How can I choose the best dish?"

"Come," I say, grabbing her hand towards my favorites. "We'll order everything."

We select a spot and agree to spread out to different carts and place orders. I returned earlier, sitting on the bench, waiting for her. And some minutes later, she came back with wide amused eyes and a smile, sitting appropriately next to me with her ankles crossed.

"What?"

"This is cool. How do you know about it?" she asks, resting her face in her hands.

"I always get greedy coming here as a kid. My fondness for their food has no bounds, but we could only choose one thing for some reason. So, when I started making my own money, I'd come here with friends and order everything. I'd like to believe it's their cuisines that boost my appetite and increase my food intake."

"That's adorable," she admiringly smiles, leaning her head to peek at me. "Did you come with your parents?"

My breathing was suddenly restrained by her words; talking about my family isn't something I want to discuss with anyone.

My phone rings, thankfully interrupting that heavy-hanging question. It's Jake. Amy sees the screen, and her mood is immediately ruined.

But I can't just leave him hanging. When I pick up the call, he's worried about why we're here. I have to remind him of the real reason since he left a girl waiting for dinner and failed to register the passing hours.

"Thank you," he says when I tell him I'm just trying to calm her down.

I had stood up, pacing back and forth so Amy couldn't hear.

"Always."

"You shouldn't stay out late, though. You know what happened the other time," he reminds me.

"Yeah, you're right. We'll eat, and then I'll get her home," I say, my eyes coming across a group of teen girls who crouched under the table upon making eye contact, giggling as if they made a bet on each of my moves.

"And you'll sleep earlier to recover too," he adds sternly.

A light huff came from my chest, but I didn't argue with him that I was fine, even though I felt fine. "Yes, sure, sure."

This isn't the first time I've risked my life.

Returning to Amy, the table is filled with so many options, barely containing any more space, except where my elbow rests by the edge while straddling the bench, facing Amy directly.

"What was he saying?" she curiously asks, not looking at me.

"That you need to go to bed soon, so we can't stay for long."

She scoffs, nodding. "He's not going to tell me what to do." She mumbles and grabs the noodles first, but I'm quick to stop her with my hand and pick up the shawarma.

"Try this first. It's the best of the best," I hand it to her, and her eyes enlarge, but she accepts it with both hands and takes a bite.

That perfect shawarma. I've consumed so much of it regularly with my family at dinner for ages. I thought it was the best, and up until now, I still believe it is, just that it left me with food burnout. But Amy has to taste it. I want her to understand what I mean when I say it's the best. The shawarma deserves all the praise.

Eagerly, I wait while she chews with tightly closed scarlet lips, her cheek bulging at the small amount of shawarma she took in. She chortles, peeking to the side at me, and her slim hand comes over it, covering the view from me, the nails are short and painted red. Her red hair flows across her face by the wind, and she doesn't care to tuck the strands back; it's like she wants it that way.

It is weird. It's chaos and again, it was like art.

"What do you think?" I ask when she swallows, dabbing a napkin at the side of her mouth.

She puts everything down and faces me, although with a red face, finally hooking back her hair. "Not bad."

My eyes roll. "You're supposed to say perfect. Don't ditch your loathing for me on the poor little thing."

"Nah! It tastes a bit bad," her face scrunches as she takes another huge bite. "This is a no for me," she chews, bringing the shawarma to her open mouth, ready to take a big bite but I snatch it.

Her face bleaches, and she panics, reaching to seize it, proving my consciousness that she was lying. I know there is no way anyone will call this shawarma a regular kind. I stretch back my hand, and she gives up trying, resorting to pouting.

"I don't understand. Is it worth the struggle?" I tease, and she shoots me a longside stare.

"Okay! Fine. It's good."

I tilt my ear toward her. "I don't hear you?"

She huffs while I lean, wearing a victorious smile.

"IT IS GOOD," she deliberately blows a forceful exhale in my ear, causing a ticklish sensation. I can't help but laugh, immediately signaling a truce by waving my white napkin.

Delighted, she laughs at my expense, the sound echoing through the lively surroundings. It is contagious, it gently brings a smile to my lips as I watch her calm down and take a bite from all the food.

"Don't you eat?" She asks with her mouthful, gesturing toward the food, and I quickly avert my gaze, rushing to grab a fry and shove half of it into my mouth.

After swallowing, she sips her juice, a bashful smile playing on her lips.

"Tell me about you. What doesn't involve Jake?" I blurt, but she cuts me off with her surprised expression as our eyes meet.

It was odd.

I break the eye contact, backtracking and clarifying, "He's always talking about you two. I guess I know enough about you, but what I don't know is who you are back in New Jersey. How you grow up. Things you like."

"What do you want to know?" she mumbles, pausing chewing.

"Everything."

"Okay." She smiled softly, pressing her lips into a hard line. "I am an only child."

"Uh-huh." I adjust in my seat, leaning on my palm, gazing at her side profile when she turns. She has a tender smile on her face and her eyes are pointing heavenward as though she is recalling memories.

"My parents have this facade of love that I never thought could be beaten until it all falls apart when my father leaves. I was six then. So it's basically just the three of us."

Inquisitive, my eyes narrow. "Three?"

"Carl. He lives with us. He's my paternal cousin; when my father left, Carl had no one, so Mom adopted him fully, and since we are age mates, we grew up together. We did everything together. School, play, fight, eat. Literally all the things. Jake taught us together, both basketball and studies."

I had been attentive but what she was saying didn't make sense. "You're saying your father leaves his nephew to your mother and runs away? Isn't that a cowardly move!"

"I know," she breathes out a laugh, it seems neutral. "I don't know who I would be without Carl. He's always been my support. He drove me to Portland just so we could spend more time together before we both started school in different places for the first time. He never told me that though, he only said it was to save money but we went broke booking hotels and buying food."

What?

"You drove here from New Jersey?" my eyes widen, and she nods crookedly. "No way."

"I know. It's a funny long road trip. We bet on Jake dumping me upon learning the surprise I have on my sleeves." Her last lines are quiet, trailing. "The moment I learned Jake has gotten a new job somewhere, I felt so stupid he had proved my mom and Carl right. Mom had gotten married to a nice man, but she still struggles with trusting men, so I understand where she's coming from. She wants me to study at Princeton or somewhere nearby, like Carl. She wants to protect me from harm. I don't blame her; look at the length of damage I made just coming here in a day."

She tears up again, and I'm unsure of what to say.

"I do the hurting. If Jake finds-" She shudders.

"He won't," I interject, and she looks up, teary-eyed.

"I've become a cheater," she smiles sadly.

"Commitment is-"

"Do not start with your bias," she retorts, not letting me finish. "Cam, Jake has been a part of me for so long. I can't lose him." she choked on her tears.

"I only want to say, that commitment isn't without challenge." I remark and she lowers her head, "Life isn't without tests; there's always something coming at us when we think we have everything planned out. Sometimes, when it hits us, we lose all hope. But it's how we let it affect us that matters."

"This is different. I sleep with his friend." Her eyes squeeze tightly, more tears spilling. "I deny him something so important that the both of us could have experienced together. He waited for me all these years. He never cheated. He never shows any discouragement. We're supposed to be chaste together when the time comes. But I messed up. It's like the whole world is collapsing, and I don't know where to go or what to do. I hate myself. You don't believe me, but I lost my virginity to you." She draws a shaky breath, covering her mouth with her palm.

I wince at her last line because I lied. I was never tentative about what she said from the first day. I knew she was untouched from the moment I took her into the room but I just wanted to play the attack card before it backfired, and it already seems like it's happening.

"I don't know what to say," I mutter, and she exhales, beginning to wipe her eyes.

"Don't say anything. Whatever you will say would only hurt twice as bad as I already feel."

I remain silent then, but inwardly, it feels bad that she assumes that about me.

"Enough about me." She laughs, trying to lighten the mood. "Now it's your turn," she changes the topic.

"What about me?"

"Tell me about your parents." As she says that, I feel my defensive walls recouping. My hands ball into fists. "How do you get that huge house on your own? Who is Cameron Reynolds?"

Don't react. Don't! It takes all my willpower to remain in character.

Instead of fighting her, I think of the human way of communication. So I talk, rather strainedly though. "That's a story for another day."

"That's cheating," she whines. "Look, Cam. You might be a good person. It's just the circumstance of our meeting..." Her words trail off brokenly.

"I am not a good person," I brazenly admit.

There's nothing good about me. I've been made of evil since I was a kid. She should know; look at how I mess her up. Her face is literally red because she just cried her eyes out about how I ruined her destiny.

But she stares warily, uttering an innocent, "Why?"

"Don't you see a reason every day?"

"The girls you sleep with? Or your rudeness toward me?" She stares fixedly.

She's not going to yield, will she? I fake a small laugh.

"Maybe you are a-" Her words get stuck. She doesn't know what to say.

Of course! There's only one word fit for me, and she doesn't know that because it's not in her vocabulary.

"Do not try to justify me. You don't know me."

"I feel like that's not true." Her head shakes.

"Believe me, you don't. And you don't want to know. But should you know, you won't be sitting this close to me," I firmly insist, my eyes fierce. I look everywhere but at her, making sure she can't see that one word that defines me. "We should go; it's getting late."

AMELIA

"Where is this?" I ask as we enter through the gate, my eyes wide with curiosity.

"You'll find the coolest local food trucks here. Everything is incredible. It's a park, not too fancy; you can just be yourself," The place was packed with people, and the decorations were cute.

"A food park!" I've only heard about things like that. "How can I choose the best dish?"

"Come," he grabs my hand, pulling me and I don't know why I let it. "We'll order everything."

We ended up parting ways. On my own, I made some orders for the food in my direction, finding Cam already in the place we'd chosen to meet.

"What?"

"This is cool. How do you know about it?" I ask, resting my face in my hands.

"I always get greedy coming here as a kid. My fondness for their food has no bounds, but we could only choose one thing for some reason. So, when I started making my own money, I'd come here with friends and order everything. I'd like to believe it's their cuisines that boost my appetite and increase my food intake."

"That's adorable," I say with an admiring smile, peeking at him. "Did you come with your parents?"

His reaction to the question is noticeable; His phone rings, interrupting the direction of the conversation.

Jake's name appears on the screen.
I wonder what he has to say.

Cam looks apologetic when he swipes accept and stands up.

After what happened in the past evening, I am so full of anger. I can't even begin to listen to what Jake has to say.
Anxious, I waited while they talked, and through that time, our food began coming in.

When Cam returns to the table, it's filled with everything. He straddled the bench, facing me directly. I could feel his stare, it was weird in a way I was blushing.

"What was he saying?" I curiously ask, not looking at him, because then he will see the effect he has on me and God knows I know how wrong it is.

"That you need to go to bed soon, so we can't stay for long."

Shameless. That's what he could think of after leaving me to parch in a cafe I ended up looking stupid in.

"He's not going to tell me what to do." I grab the bowl of noodles, but before I can bring the sticks to my mouth, he quickly stops me, as though I was about to sin.

"Try this first. It's the best of the best," he hands a shawarma to me, and I agree to take a bite of what he seems so excited about.

Okay, this is insane. Just wow. I chew with tightly closed lips, cheeks bulging like a hungry monkey, chortling from embarrassment when I glance at Cam and see him amusedly watching my reaction.

"What do you think?" he anxiously asks like an excited child when I swallow, and I face him, hooking back my hair behind my ear.

"Not bad."

His eyes roll. "You're supposed to say perfect. Don't ditch your loathing for me on the poor little thing."

"Nah! It tastes a bit bad," I lied, not to give him the satisfaction he was seeking, and went on taking another bite. "This is a no for me," I chew, ready to take a big bite, but he snatches it away as a payback.

My face bleaches, and I panic, reaching to seize it, but he stretches back his hand, he's taller. I had to give up, resorting to pouting.

"I don't understand. Is it worth the struggle?" he teases, and I shoot him a longside stare.

"Okay! Fine. It's good." I shyly admit.

He tilts his ear toward me, holding back his laughter. "I don't hear you?"

I huff while he leans, with a victorious smile on his pretty lips that drew me to sin the first time we met.

His ear was still hanging in my face, it was in my favor, so I blew a vengeful, "IT IS GOOD,"

He pulled back in disarray, and I couldn't help but laugh at his reaction, finding a shared amusement at the moment, he had burst into a peal of laughter. For a brief instant, the ache of humiliation that Jake had put me through seemed to fade, replaced by the shared laughter with Cam. It was a fleeting escape from the double dose of humiliation Jake had me experienced in such a short span.

The food we ordered remained untouched by Cam; it was as if the dishes were solely mine to savor.

"Don't you eat?" I ask with my mouth full, and it is then he grabs a fry, shoving half of it into his mouth.

"Tell me about you. What doesn't involve Jake?" he asked, sounding curious. But it is odd, however in a way, it feels genuine.

I diverted my gaze and he must have regretted his question or something because he began again, "He's always talking about you two. I guess I know enough about you, but what I don't know is who you are back in New Jersey. How you grow up. Things you like."

When I shot him a sidelong glance, he seemed solemn.

"What do you want to know?" I asked him.

"Everything."

"Okay. I am an only child."

"Uh-huh." Cameron adjusts in his seat, leaning on his palm, shamelessly engrossed in watching me as I turn.

I try so hard to act unaware of him, but it's hard. Every part of me feels him near. It is like my body communicates with him somehow.
"My parents have this facade of love that I never thought could be beaten until it all falls apart when my father leaves. I was six then. So it's basically just the three of us."

His eyes narrow. "Three?"

"Carl. He lives with us. He's my paternal cousin; when my father left, Carl had no one, so Mom adopted him fully, and since we are age mates, we grew up together. We did everything together. School, play, fight, eat. Literally all the things. Jake taught us together, both basketball and studies."

"You're saying your father leaves his nephew to your mother and runs away? Isn't that a cowardly move!"

"I know," I breathe out a laugh, trying to keep it neutral, but the reminder of how cowardly my father is, hurts. "I don't know who I would be without Carl. He's always been my support. He drove me to Portland just so we could spend more time together before we both started school in different places for the first time. He never told me that though; he only said it was to save money, but we went broke booking hotels and buying food."

"What?"

"You drove here from New Jersey?" Cameron's eyes widened, and I nodded, smiling. "No way."

"I know. It's a funny long road trip. We bet on Jake dumping me upon learning the surprise I have on my sleeves." My last lines are quiet, trailing as I recall how the first day went. What if coming here was a wrong decision I made? "The moment I learned Jake has gotten a new job somewhere, I felt so stupid he had proved my mom and Carl right. Mom had gotten married to a nice man, but she still struggles with trusting men, so I understand where she's coming from. She wants me to study at Princeton or somewhere nearby, like Carl. She wants to protect me from harm. I don't blame her; look at the length of damage I made just coming here in a day."

I tear up again, unsure of what to say.

"I do the hurting. If Jake finds-" I shudder.

"He won't," Cameron interjects, and I look up, teary-eyed.

"I've become a cheater," I smile sadly.

"Commitment is-"

"Do not start with your bias," I retort, not letting him finish. "Cam, Jake has been a part of me for so long. I can't lose him." I choke on my tears.

"I only want to say, that commitment isn't without challenge." He remarks, and I lower my head, "Life isn't without tests; there's always something coming at us when we think we have everything planned out. Sometimes, when it hits us, we lose all hope. But it's how we let it affect us that matters."

"This is different. I sleep with his friend." Saying it out loud hurt so bad. Look what coming here did to me? Before, I didn't have to know there was someone out there who I couldn't resist over Jake. "I deny him something so important that the both of us could have experienced together. He waited for me all these years. He never cheated. He never shows any discouragement. We're supposed to be chaste together when the time comes. But I messed up. It's like the whole world is collapsing, and I don't know where to go or what to do. I hate myself. You don't believe me, but I lost my virginity to you." I draw a shaky breath, covering my mouth with my palm to stop the sobs in my throat.

"I don't know what to say," he mutters despairingly.

This is stupid. I begin to wipe my eyes.

"Don't say anything. Whatever you will say would only hurt twice as bad as I already feel."

He remains silent as I have asked for until decides to change the topic, laughing, although miserable, "Enough about me. Now it's your turn,"

"What about me?"

His family. As he asked me, it would be nice to know about his background. He said he used to come here when he was a child. I wonder a lot about those experiences he had.
"Tell me about your parents. How do you get that huge house on your own? Who is Cameron Reynolds?"

But it was as though I attacked him, he reacted with defensive walls. His reactions tell so much of it.
"That's a story for another day." He dismissed.

Maybe he blames himself as I do. Maybe his regrets also weigh him down.
"That's cheating. Look, Cam. You might be a good person. It's just the circumstance of our meeting..."I couldn't bring myself to finish.

"I am not a good person," he admits openly.

Maybe I am harsh on him sometimes, but I have to admit, there's good in him that he doesn't let himself accept.
For instance, he's here with me when Jake isn't.

"Why?"

"Don't you see a reason every day?"

"The girls you sleep with? Or your rudeness toward me?" I joke partly and he exhales a small laugh.

"Maybe you are a-" I stop myself from admitting, he's annoying but he's caring also, and that makes him good.

"Do not try to justify me. You don't know me." He refused, I saw denial in his eyes.

What's that inside of him that's eating at him? Lying to him?

"I feel like that's not true." My head shakes because somehow, it is like I have known him for so long.

"Believe me, you don't. And you don't want to know. But should you know, you won't be sitting this close to me," he firmly insists, his eyes fierce. He looks everywhere but at me. It is almost sad. "We should go; it's getting late." He then said and got up