AMELIA

When we finish breakfast, Carl and Cam grab our things, including the lunch Mom packed for us, and head downstairs.
It was then Mom grabbed my hand, stopping me by the exit door as I was about to get into the elevator after Anthony followed the boys too.

"We always fight, why is that?" she asks me, and I shrug, acting nonchalant. She frowns. "I hope someday you will realize I am not your enemy."

"I never said we are enemies, Mom." If it weren't for her, we wouldn't be in this situation. She always underestimates my capabilities, and that's the most painful thing a mother can do. Judging my decisions and making me feel so clueless when I am no longer a child.

"Look at us not getting along even right now when we might not see each other in a while." She sighs, causing chills to crash against my bones.

"I just wish you understand," that's all I ever wanted. I want her to listen and care, not mock me.

"As avoidable as you make it, you and I are the same. I know exactly what you want, Amy. We both are desperate for it."

Scoffing, I ask wide-eyed, "What is that?"

"Love, of course," she dares to say it.

Wow! Desperate for love.

Swallowing painfully at the insult, I turn for the elevator. "Okay. Goodbye, Mom."

But I feel a grasp around my forearm.

"Hey? Where are you going?"

"You can't just say that to me," I spit, frustrated, feeling tears stinging my eyes.

"Darling, it is not a bad thing that you want to be loved." Mom shakes her head at me concernedly. "Look at me, I remarried." She laughs, briefly looking heavenward when she points out. "I am not even as young as you are," she smiles, bringing her hand to my face tenderly. "You are allowed to want that. To want happiness. I want it for you, my love. And for the record. I so fucking love that boy downstairs, you have no idea."

That's surprising.

"You said no cussing in your house," I choke on so many emotions, probably saying the wrong thing as I take in her confession.

"Whoever makes the rules, is allowed," she replies playfully making me laugh.

She pats my cheek caressingly, I inhaled peacefully for the first time in a long time around her.

"I see the way he cares for you. I see the way he needed someone to care for him. You two are what each other needs. He looks after you so dearly it warms my heart that I can finally rest, knowing this one won't hurt you. He is the one, Amy."

Tears escaped my eyes no matter how much I wanted to hold them back.

"Really?" I croak, covering my mouth with my palm.

"Of course."

"I thought-" I stammer, feeling so many emotions right now.

"You always thought. But that doesn't mean you were right. I just want the best for you," she gently says.

"I am so sorry, Mom," I had been too nasty to her.

But she doesn't care. She pulls me into her arms, hugging me with so much affection.

"I will say one thing, though," she mumbles while I gasp softly.

"What, Mom?" I laugh, my body shaking.

"Make sure you are on the protection pills."

No way she says that. I've never wanted the ground to open and swallow me entirely.

"Mom!" I whine, not wanting to bring out my face now.

"Come on," she shakes her shoulder, giving me a light nudge, and we pull back. God, my face must be all flushed. "I know you're always having sex. The walls are thin. It was awkward," she adds.

Oh my goodness!

"For heaven's sake," my eyes roll upward, and I rush to press the elevator door to get away from this conversation.

She keeps laughing, following me inside when the door slides open.

***

Downstairs, the boys have already gotten our things in the trunk, and Cam is handsomely leaning against the passenger door, freely chatting with my stepfather and Carl as though they've known each other for ages. It gladdens me.
When he spots me, he straightens up, shoving his hands into his pockets. He looks so adorable right there.

"I will keep you in the loop if anything arises," Anthony says, but he stops when he notices where Cam's attention has averted.

"What are you guys talking about?" Mom asks as we approach them.

"Boys talk," Carl quickly defends, but I can guess it's about Vance. I just choose not to mention it and let them have their moment.

"So-" I sigh, shrugging my shoulders in the cold.

"We will see you in spring," Mom says, and we hug again. It is so maternal; she pats my back and strokes my hair as though she won't let go.

"We will talk on the phone," I tell her in the embrace before I let go and go for Carl, throwing my arms around him.

"Please look after each other. Call us all the time. Make sure you eat. Stay warm..." Mom continues to list on and on while Anthony and I chuckle at her vigilance while he and I hug.

I must admit, this holiday is the best I've ever had. I wish Mom and I had done a little more than we did. But I plan to be better next time, and who knows, she and I might be best friends.

Cam opens the door for me when I turn over, he has this crooked smile on his exquisite face, making me fall for him for the millionth time. I laugh, feeling giddy when I hop in.

When he's inside and starts the car, he sets the heater. The room smells like him as always; it is comforting. I wave at my beautiful family out there, huddling and waving back. And hell, I already can't wait to meet them this coming spring.

I know this road trip back to Portland with Cam will be amazing. I lean on his shoulder as he takes off.

Next time, New Jersey!