Rebecca:
"Chocolate." Elliot took me into the house and grabbed me a blanket while Luke stood in the kitchen cooking. I sat down on their sofa and snuggled into the cover ,watching as Elliot left.

Parker:
"How's my favourite person ever doing?" Parker asked.
He poured soup into two bowls and came over to me, turning the tv on. I took one of the bowls and lifted my arms up so we could share the cover before shuffling up to his body.

Rebecca:
"Not great." I told him honestly. He was looking at me very carefully, taking in every detail.

Parker:
"We can work with that."

Rebecca:
I waited for the soup to cool down before slowly eating it. "I just... it doesn't matter. Everything makes me sound like a weak victim when I'm not the one laying in a hospital bed, hardly breathing on my own." I said.

Parker:
"Rebecca, this does affect you too. It's not just your mum who is dealing with problems. You may be able to breathe on your own but you can't get through this alone. No one expects you to be a strong saviour who can deal with this at 14 - or any age." 

Rebecca: He put the bowl on the floor and his arm behind me on the sofa. Our relationship was something I was thankful for- he always knew what to do. "I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to feel. I feel guilty, and angry, and sad- I'm still trying to focus on making myself better but the past few months I've been really struggling. It's got worse and worse."

Parker:
"You are allowed to struggle."

Rebecca:
"It feels so wrong though because she's been through more pain than me but I'm acting miserable. She pretended she wasn't when I was fighting." Suddenly I wasn't hungry anymore so I went to put my bowl down, only for Parker to stop me.

Parker:
"You need to finish that you don't get to choose how you feel about the situation Rebecca. It's not wrong to feel sad. It's not wrong to be angry or worried or struggling. That's normal and it's our job to help you through that. It gets dangerous when you don't tell us it's going on though, alright?" He explained.

Rebecca:
"Why does she have to have it? Why couldn't I take it for her... she's the one person who was always there for me and soon she'll be gone."

Parker:
I sat with Rebecca and tried to calm her down. It was definitely not working. All these thoughts that had bottled up for weeks were spilling out and it broke my heart. She just wanted to be with her mum. I took the bowl from her hand and put it down. Of course, she hadn't eaten it all which was concerning- I put less than I should've in there to begin with. She never had a big appetite in the first place, so when it seemed to have shrunk I was worried. I didn't see her at the hospital everyday, but the boys always told me how sick she looked. I tightly held her hand, trying to get her to breathe slowly. "Take your time."

Rebecca:
"Why does it even exist? Why could I fight it twice for ages but she couldn't even fight it once for a few months? What do I do without my mum in my life, it leaves no one," She cried, almost shouting. I turned her head to look at me and wiped her tears, hushing her. "There's no chance she'll get better there." She sighed. I wiped her tears again and rested my hand on her shoulder gently.

Parker:
"You knew than hun though. I know your mum played a massive part in your life and I know your mum always seemed happy. She was broken too. You have us though. We want to help you figure out what you're feeling because having a few massive outbursts like this isn't good for you. Promise you'll talk to us more?" I asked. She nodded and leant into me. Her breathing was shallow which made her whole body shudder with every breath. "I don't know why you could fight it that well Rebecca, I know you're still trying to recover but- I don't know. None of us do. It's just a horrible thing and I know you don't deserve it. I'm so sorry... just, stay with me alright?" She nodded and I took a deep breath, leaning back as she fiddled with the ring on my finger. We sat in silence for a few minutes. Even through the silence, neither of us noticed the click of the front door, so when Jayken came through we were snapped out of our daze.

Jayken:
"Hey you two, how are you?" He asked, smiling as he entered the house. He looked down at her bowl still full of soup then back up at me - I shook my head. She avoided his eye contact and put her head against my arm while Elliot and Robert came in. They walked past us and went upstairs, but Jayken sat next to me. "Rebecca, can you look at me for a sec." He said quietly. I felt her move her head slightly, still holding my hand. "I'm not mad at you. This is such a tough time for you and we can all see how anxious and upset you are. I'm concerned for you because you haven't eaten or slept... you've barely even been outside other than walking in the cold to the hospital." He explained. She groaned and looked away again. Jayken looked defeated. I didn't blame him, she was being tough and stubborn. But I didn't blame her either.

Elliot:
"What if, you go and have a nice warm shower, then wear one of my massive hoodies. One of us can dry your hair and then we will come downstairs to get you some food you want. You can go to sleep on the sofa or with one of us." Elliot said. I wondered how long he'd been standing in the doorway. She turned round and looked at him before nodding and letting go of my hand. He rested his hand on her back and led her upstairs.

Jayken:
"Did she say anything to you?" Jayken sighed, running his hand through his hair then clenching his fists slightly.

Parker:
"She was just really angry and upset... we don't understand what she is going through though. Not fully." I explained. Robert came in, quickly followed by Elliot. They both sat down and everyone went to speak at once.

Elliot:
"I'm worried."

Parker:
"What do we do?"

Parker:
"She needs a distraction."

Jayken:
"This is dangerous."

Parker:
Everyone paused.

Robert:
"Guys. It hasn't even been a year since she's been cancer free, this is not ideal to say the least." Robert spoke. I nodded and lifted my leg up onto the sofa. What could we do to help? Clearly it was serious but even small things could impact her. Petunia was always the one who made me happy- maybe it could be the same.

Parker:
"Is she allergic to dogs?" I asked. Jayken looked at me like I'd come from another planet.

Jayken:
"Parker, we don't need to think about dogs right now."

Elliot:
"You always need to think about dogs, Jay. Anyway, Parker, that's a great idea. We were gonna pick them up tomorrow now that we've got no night shifts." Elliot agreed.

Jayken:
"Only for a day, at least for now." Jayken grumbled.

Robert:
"I hope she likes dogs... shall we ask?" Robert suggested.

Parker:
"Nah, lets make it a surprise."

Rebecca:
I slipped my leggings and Elliot's hoodie on then sat down on his bed. Just when I was about to call him, he came through with a hairdryer.

Elliot:
"Feeling any better?"

Rebecca:
I shrugged and hung my head down. Physically, I guessed so. Nothing could put me out of this mood though.

Elliot:
"Ok, well you have to think about what you want to eat while I dry your hair."

Rebecca:
I had no clue. I got that they were doctors, but they didn't seem to understand how hard it was for me to keep myself alright. My brother Jack was no help and my mum doesn't wake up much anymore- I'm on my own. The whole time, I stared straight ahead.

Elitto:
"Alright chic, what're you gonna eat? You can choose anything but preferably something that doesn't take ages to make." To me as he is cheerfully, putting the hairdryer down.

Rebecca:
"Can I just have an apple? I'm not hungry." I mumbled. I was hungry- I didn't feel like eating. Everything was just so much effort now, and I didn't have time to make sure I'd eaten.

Elliot:
"I know you're hungry. Why don't you want to eat Rebecca, has anyone said anything to you?" He is, sitting down next to me.

Rebecca:
"No, which is exactly why I don't think about eating. No one other than you guys and Tom make sure I'm ok. I have other priorities, my brother isn't there for me then mum lays there because she is dying and I'm just a mess! I don't feel like eating or anything." He flicked the hair from my face and tried to quieten me down. "I just want to be with mum."

Elliot:
"Well, I'm here for you now. I know you want to be with her, Rebecca, but how would she feel if she could see you right now? Tonight I'll just make you a sandwich as it's late, but tomorrow you will be having proper meals." He sighed. I nodded and stood up, wanting to leave the awkwardness behind. We both walked downstairs but I joined Robert back on the sofa while Elliot made my food. He took my weight- which granted, wasn't a lot- and gently rubbed my shoulder. Everyone was already in a conversation so I got my phone out and saw several texts on my home screen.

Ray: Why are you not staying here?
Ray: We aren't even arguing
Ray: You're so pathetic, they're gonna think I can't look after you
Ray: You're literally fine what are they even on about
Ray: Just ignore me then, night

Rebecca:
I rolled my eyes and carried on scrolling through the messages until it was someone else.

Drake: Your brother just messaged me on instagram saying you weren't going home. Please text me , are you ok?
Drake: Nvm he said you're with Jayken. Please just talk to me later. You don't even talk to me in school anymore and I miss you

Rebecca:
"Damn it," I mumbled under my breath.

Robert:
"What's up?" Robert said, turning to me.

Rebecca:
"I've been really selfish and ignored Drake. I've messed up so much today." I groaned. Ellito brought me a sandwich and a glass of water, so I turned my phone off and put it to the side.

Robot:
"You can sort it out, he's clearly worried about you. You've not messed up, it's just a stressful time." Jayken kept looking at me while I ate. Slightly unnerving. As if I could get away without eating anyway. To be honest, as soon as I got the food I felt super hungry. I easily finished it and got up to put the plate in the kitchen.

Jayken:
"There's yoghurts in the fridge or crisps in the cupboard." Jayken said. I grimaced, knowing he was trying to be nice but not being able to bear anything else. Since my phone was in the living room, I went back in and decided to text Tom.

Rebecca: I'm so sorry. It was selfish of me. I should've talked to you and I didn't but please can you forgive me???

Drake: I'm ok with the fact you didn't speak even though I'd rather you did in this situation. I'm more concerned with how you are? Why are you with Jayken? Do you wanna come to mine?

Rebecca: I'm gonna be fine, I've just showered and I'm eating, and actually ready to sleep for once. My brother is just ignorant and loud but I'm fine here.

Rebecca:
I waited for him to reply but he just kept deleting the messages. He was truly my only friend through this all, and I needed him. Times when I'd been past my breaking point, in so much agony and heartache, he stayed by my side. Even though it was terrifying for him as well.