Rebecca:
"Thank you."

Thomas:
"Is there anything I could do to help?"

Rebecca:
"Not really. If you sat and hugged me tomorrow I would appreciate it though."

Thomas:
"Of course. Have we got everything? Matt will tell me off for getting you home too late." He groaned, checking the list.

Rebecca:
"It'll do." I laughed, stealing the trolley and walking ahead.

Thomas:
"Oi! Bring it back." He laughed, jogging up behind me.

Rebecca:
"Only if you promise you won't leave me tomorrow."

Thomas:
"I promise."

Rebecca:
I sunk back into Thomas, waiting impatiently for the chemo to be over. When I was younger, I'd colour or play with Robert as we waited. Jayken would tell me jokes or Elliot would put on a film for me. As I grew up, Jayken helped me understand what was going on and Drake would always manage to accidentally break something in the office.But none of them were here now. I was tired. I was bored. I could easily give up this fight. Thomas had his hand on my stomach, rubbing small circles with his thumb.

Thomas:
"You've not said much." He commented.

Rebecca:
"I'm just thinking."

Thomas:
"What about?"

Rebecca:
"How when I was younger, even if I was sick, it was so simple for me to be happy. Give me someone to talk to and they wouldn't get a word in, a colouring book lasted hours... I danced, I sung, I didn't let anything get in the way. I wish I was young again."

Thomas:
"If you let yourself, deep down, you know those things would still make you happy. I know it sucks, you are so mature about it too... but you're allowed to be a child too Rebecca." He said quietly, squeezing my hand as Louis walked in.

Rebecca:
Nausea was starting to gnaw at my stomach.

Nowh:
"How are you feeling?" He asked, taking out the chemo and immediately replacing it with another medicine.

Rebecca:
"Sick." I mumbled, looking up at him miserably.

Noah:
"The medicine should hopefully help with that."

Rebecca:
"Can I call them?" I asked , whining when they tilted the bed so I sat up. Noah handed me a sick bowl, seeing me gag.

Thomas:
"Parker is probably your best bet right now." Thomas suggested, picking up his phone and calling him. Thankfully, he held the phone up for me.

Parker:
"Hey hun, you ok?" He asked straight away. Seeing me curled up in Thomas's chest probably answered his question.

Rebecca:
"I miss you. I need you here now." I said, trying to swallow the lump in my throat.

Parker:
"I'm so close to being able to come, ok?"

Rebecca:
I nodded and closed my eyes.

Thomas:
"She's just had chemo so she's not feeling too great but she really wanted to call someone." Thomas explained, shuffling away from me as I tried to get out of his grip.

Parker:
"Ah right, why don't you call me when you feel a bit better Rebecca?"

Rebecca:
"No, I want you now."

Rebecca:
I shakily held the sick bowl, Noah rubbing my back.

Parker:
"I know you do, I know how different it is for you to not have Jayken or Elliot with you right now like usual. You need to just relax for a couple of hours."

Rebecca:
"I am relaxed with you Parker. I'm always relaxed with you, it's like your superpower." I whined, not understanding why he was trying to stop the call. Did he not want to talk?

Parker:
"Well then I'm gonna use my super powers and tell you to watch some tv until you feel 100% better. I can see you shaking." He said softly, biting his lip as I gagged again."I love you Rebecca, talk later yeah?"

Rebecca:
Just as it ended, I couldn't stop it anymore. I threw up, my eyes watering. The sick bowls were always so small and I never understood why- you just ended up having to use loads.

Noah:
"Ok, you're ok." Noah said, wiping my face and letting me lean back. A small fan stood on the table next to me so he turned it on, Thomas getting off the bed so I could stretch out. Noah took out the medicine so I wrapped myself in the cool duvet. Matt walked in the room with a few things, including a cool rag which he put on my head.

Matt:
"Do you think you can sit up a little for me?" He asked.

Rebecca:
"No."

Matt:
"Ok, have a lay down for ten minutes and we can try again. Close your eyes and I'll put some music on for you."

Rebecca:
"I feel rubbish." I said, starting to cry.

Matt:
"Shhhh, you'll make it worse. Just try and relax hun."

Rebecca:
"I can't." My head felt like it could explode and I could probably puke my guts out again. I felt exhausted but not enough to sleep. Homesickness made it worse.

Matt:
"You're going to feel tired soon hun. If you can go to sleep, don't fight it." Gently holding my hand.

Rebecca:
I shook my head. Gripping the side of the bed to stop my shaking, someone rubbed small circles on my hand and another turned the fan off. My whole body shook as I cried, tears causing my nose to run.

Matt:
"It's gonna be ok love." Wiping my nose gently and moving the bed up slightly.

Rebecca:
"I want to be back in Australia."

Matt:
"We know Rebecca, we're trying to help as quickly as possible."

Rebecca:
"Can't they all be paid to work here?" I sniffed and leant back, my chest aching as I felt another gag coming. Everything about having cancer was so tiring at this point and each day, I put up less of a fight. No one pushed me- it would only make me more upset. I was grateful for that.

Matt:
"They're needed back home chic."

Rebecca:
I breathed out heavily, feeling my eyes become droopy. "I need them here."

3 weeks later

Christmas Day.

Rebecca:
It's supposed to be a time full of happiness with your family. Mine was in a different country, and I definitely wasn't happy. It turned out my new treatment had quite similar side effects. My mouth was sore and I was too tired to move all the time. I hadn't even got anyone presents. A knock on my door startled me, properly waking up. "Come in." James walked in, a small smile on his face.

James:
"How are you feeling today? Think you can get dressed and have breakfast?"

Rebecca:
"My mouth is too sore."

James:
"I bought you yoghurt, that shouldn't hurt. If you want, I'll brush your teeth for you since I can actually see the ulcers." He offered, pulling my duvet back a bit.

Rebecca:
I sat up, the blood rushing to my head, then slowly stood up. Starting the day was the worst part. He left the room so I could get changed and met me at the table where I ate my yoghurt. The house was unusually quiet. "I haven't got you guys any presents." I mumbled, putting the empty cup down.

Matt:
"We didn't expect you to."

Rebecca:
"I feel bad because I'm always asking to call the other guys. I do appreciate you all."

Thomas:
"We know. Hun, this is an incredibly hard time for you and you don't have to apologise for anything. Are you done eating?"

Rebecca:
I nodded and stood up, heading to my bed again. Stacks of presents for all the boy's families were under the tree, and the thought of having a house full of everyone was not appealing to me. Either everyone would ignore me or they'd all try and speak to me. James came through, grabbing my toothbrush from the bathroom and coming over to me.

James:
"Is it annoying if I ask you to hold my phone torch up? These light bulbs suck." He chuckled, handing me the phone when I shook my head. I held it over my head while he gently brushed my teeth, managing to avoid most of the ulcers. "You're due another appointment soon, perhaps we can do it this week while Noah's family comes. They're just as crazy as him."

Rebecca:
"Sounds like a plan." The front door opened and I suddenly realised why it was so quiet. I knew Noah had been home because I heard him snoring upstairs, but Matt and Thomas must've gone out. I sent James a confused look but he just shrugged and helped me up. Since it was cold and it was probably some family, I slipped a hoodie on. "Where did you guys go?" I asked, walking into the living room. My question was answered right there. "Where are your bags?"

Robert:
"Seriously, that's what you're most concerned about?" Robert laughed, squeezing me in a tight hug. As soon as I was in his arms, I started crying quietly.

Rebecca:
Why did they never tell me when they were coming? He tried to pull away but I hugged him back tighter.

Robert:
"There's other people here to see you love." He chuckled, holding my head against his chest.

Rebecca:
I wiped my eyes and turned to Elliot who also held me in his arms. I'd missed his hugs.

Rebecca:
"How are you here, you should be at home with your family." I sniffed, looking up at him. The front door was still open, sending a wave of cold air through.

Robert:
"How could we celebrate Christmas with our family when one of the members was all the way over here?" Robert said.

Rebecca:
"I love you guys... fuck I've missed you guys." I brought them both in for a hug, jumping when there was clattering at the door.

Parker:
"You guys started the emotional part without me." Parker whined, putting a bag down at the door.

Rebecca:
I gasped and turned round, my feet glued to the floor. With Elliot and Robert, I was already about to be tipped over the edge, but Parker coming pretty much chucked me off it. I stood there, burying my face in my hands and crying.

Parker:
"Aww, I mean that much to you." He smiled, wrapping his arms around me. I was still sobbing when he let go, making him laugh again.

Rebecca:
"Is this even real?" I asked, taking his hand and pulling him to the sofa. He tightly wrapped his arms round me and rubbed my back, planting a small kiss on my forehead.

Parker:
"I sure hope so, otherwise this is cruel for both of us."

Rebecca:
He held me, trying to calm me down. My chest ached as I started to cough, the excitement being too overwhelming.

Parker:
"Deep breaths."

Rebecca:
I rested my head on his chest, taking in his smell and copying his movement. "All I've wanted was to be with you guys for the past two months, and now you're here. I've wanted to see you guys for so long and I just- where are you staying?"

Robert:
"Well you've got us now for two weeks." Robert cheered, fist bumping me.

Elliot:
"We are at a hotel, you're coming with us because I know that their Christmas is not really your scene." Elliot teased, taking my hand.

Rebecca:
"Thank you." I sighed, hearing my stomach grumble.

Elliot:
"Are you still hungry?"

Rebecca:
"Yeah but it hurts to eat."

Parker:
"Well, by the time we get to the hotel they will have lunch things out. You can have soup or something." Parker offered, standing up.

Rebecca:
I said bye to everyone while Robert packed my clothes. The taxi arrived and he came out with a bag full of things- I didn't need that much."What are we doing this week?" I asked as we got into the car, Elliot in the front.

Parker:
"Well, other then your dentist appointment on Wednesday and your hospital appointment next Friday, the rest is either not planned or a surprise." Parker smirked.

Rebecca:
"Hm okay then, are you doing my appointment?"

Parker:
"Yep. Also, you need to decide who you want to sleep with since there's only two beds."