My family tells me I’m pretty,

But that’s not what goes through my head.

I may no longer be in public school,

But their words still run in my head.

I’m fat and I’m ugly.

That’s what I’ve been lead to believe,

By all the people who’s ever taunted me.

The problem is I’m different,

From what society has deemed as beauty.

I was a size 12 so I was deemed too fat to be loved

There were pimples on my face so I was written off too ugly to be loved.

So I sat in my desk ignoring all the stares.

I ignored every look I got,

That conveyed all their disgust.

I sat alone and didn’t talk, except to a select few.

But of course, they were bullied too.

We all fought our insecurities together,

By saying what we loved about one another.

Unfortunately it rarely worked.

So here I am today,

Four years removed from that school,

And still I hear the words.

Every time I see a mirror,

Or a pretty girl walking down the street,

The voice kicks in and states

You’re fat and you’re ugly.

What is wrong with me?

That question rang through my head,

Every time a cruel word was said.

Was it really just my looks that set me apart?

Or is there something only bullies can see?

Is there something deep inside that doesn’t make me human?

 No I’m a person just like you.

I have feeling.

I have hopes.

And I also have dreams.

Or at least I did,

Until you all took them from me.

I’m slowly getting them back though,

In my lonely broken state.

My hopes and dreams are lifting me up,

But their words are like balls and chains.

Every time a stranger says something nice about me,

I can feel a chain link weaken,

But then I hear a laugh and my mind says it’s at me.

So once again I get pulled under,

Into that lonely broken state.

Darkness it surrounds me,

And voices fill the air.

You’re fat and you’re ugly.

The people may be gone,

But their voices always remain.

They make me hate myself,

 And they refuse to leave my brain.