I wouldn't be YTCat if I didn't post any incorrect quotes so yeah here ya go lmao. Enjoy!

~

Microphone: Do you have any idea what you're doing?

Lightbulb: Why start now?

~ 

Microphone: *sharpens knife* We've got ways of making people talk.

Microphone: *cuts piece of cake*

Lightbulb: ...Can I have some?

Microphone: Cake is for talkers.

~

 Microphone: Lightbulb, can I speak to you for a minute? In private.

Lightbulb: Ooh, someone's in trouble. It's me. I don't know why I did that.

~

 Lightbulb: Why does my arm shake and turn bright red when I'm eating dirt?

Microphone:

Microphone: Why are you eating dirt?

Lightbulb: Did I ask you if I should eat dirt? No, so answer my question.

~

 Lightbulb: Do you want some tea?

Microphone: What are the options?

Lightbulb: Yes or no.

~

 Lightbulb, sweating: Microphone, there's something I need to ask you-

Microphone: Finally! You're proposing!

Lightbulb: How'd you know?

Microphone: Lightbulb, you've dropped the ring five times during dinner.

Microphone: I even picked it up once.

~

Lightbulb: I love you.

Microphone, not paying attention: What was that?

Lightbulb: I said I'm selling you to the zOo-

~

 Microphone: My only talent is being stress.

Lightbulb: Don't you mean stressed?

Microphone: No.

~

 Microphone, at Lightbulb's funeral: I need a moment with them.

Everyone else at the funeral: Of course. *leaves*

Microphone, leaning over Lightbulb's coffin: Okay, listen here you little shit. I know you're not dead.

Lightbulb, sitting up in the coffin: Yeah, no shit.

~

Lightbulb: Standing next to sunflowers always makes me feel weak like 'look at this fucking flower. This flower is taller than I am. This flower is winning and I'm losing.'

Microphone: Wow, you are not ready to hear about trees.

~

Lightbulb: Do you want to know your gay name?

Microphone: My... my gay name?

Lightbulb: Yeah, it's your first name-

Microphone: Haha. Very funny Lightbulb-

Lightbulb: *gets down on one knee* And my last name.

Microphone: Oh- oh my god.

~

 Lightbulb: Ooh, I like your accent, where you from?

Microphone: I am Liberian.

Lightbulb: Oh, my bad.

Lightbulb, whispering: I like your accent, were you from?

~

Microphone: Is five a lot of followers?

Lightbulb: Depends on the context.

Lightbulb: On Instagram? No, not a lot of followers.

Lightbulb: In a dark alley? Yes, a lot of followers.

~

Microphone: I literally cannot believe I let you talk me into this.

Lightbulb: I literally said "I have an idea," and you just went along with it without question.

~

Lightbulb: Remain CALM! *slaps Microphone multiple times* 

~

 Lightbulb: Jail is no fun. I'll tell you that much.

Microphone: Oh, you've been?

Lightbulb: Once. In Monopoly.

~

Microphone: When do you usually go to sleep?

Lightbulb: Whenever I collapse is entirely up to the gods.

~

 Lightbulb: I printed up a bunch of fake safety inspection certificates. Go slap one on anything that looks like a lawsuit.

Microphone: Lightbulb, is that legal?

Lightbulb: When the cops aren't around, anything's legal!

~

 Lightbulb, holding a kettle: Coffee or tea?

Microphone: Tea.

Lightbulb: Wrong. It's coffee.

~

 Lightbulb: I can't believe you've done this.....

Microphone: I'm sorry I didn't know-!

Lightbulb, on the verge of tears: YOU CAN'T JUST BUY ME A GIFT OUT OF NOWHERE NOW I FEEL LIKE A HUGE ASSHOLE!

~

 Lightbulb: I found a note in one of my old word .docs that said Note to self: Get revenge on Microphone.

Lightbulb: Except I couldn't remember what I was supposed to get revenge for.

Lightbulb: But I trusted my own judgment, so I went with it.

Microphone: Hmm... I don't know what you were supposed to get revenge for, either.

Lightbulb: I can only assume you got what was coming to you. Not 100 percent sure, though.

Microphone: Well, whatever I did, I guess I deserved it.

Lightbulb: Let that possibly be a lesson to you.

~

 Lightbulb: Vegetable oil is made from vegetables, coconut oil is made from coconuts, so BABY OIL-

Microphone: CAN'T WE JUST HAVE A NICE FAMILY DINNER FOR ONCE?!

I like to think Microphone somewhat didn't really like Lightbulb and found her weird but when they started sharing a hotel room she warmed up to Lightbukb and now they love each other. OOH NOW I HAVE AN IDEA FOR A STORY WRITE THAT DOWN WRITE THAT DOWN-

~

Lightbulb, after getting a job as a life guard: Hmm... I wonder what those things at the bottom of the pool are..

Microphone: THOSE ARE PEOPLE DROWNING!

~

 Microphone: Lightbulb, you're such a genius!

Lightbulb: Yes, I know.

~

Microphone: Ugh, crushes are so dumb.

Lightbulb: I know. Whenever I'm near the person I like I just start acting stupid.

Microphone: But you're always acting stupid?

Lightbulb: ...

Lightbulb: Yeah, don't think about that too hard.

~

 Microphone: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine.

Lightbulb: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.

Microphone: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns??

Lightbulb: Is it working?

~

 Microphone: Two brooooos!

Lightbulb: Chillin' in a hot tub!

Microphone: Five feet apart 'cause we're not gay!

Lightbulb:

Microphone:

Lightbulb: *tearing up*

Microphone: Babe, c'mon...

Lightbulb: AND HERE YOU REALLY HAD ME THINKING WE HAD SOMETHING.

Microphone: Babe...

~

Lightbulb: You're not jealous, are you?

Microphone: No!

Lightbulb: Good, 'cause I consider my fake relationship with you a lot more meaningful.

~

 Lightbulb: Let's watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

Microphone: Okay.

Lightbulb: And make out during the scary parts.

Microphone: Th-

Microphone: The scary parts.

Microphone: Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

~

 Lightbulb: So you like cats?

Microphone: Yeah.

Lightbulb: *tries to impress them by slowly pushing a glass off the table*

~

Microphone: I still have no idea how I'm attracted to you...

Lightbulb: Yeah, well, you're stuck with me, and no take backs, honey.

~

 Microphone: Since we're in a relationship now, your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask me why I have your shirt on, this is our shirt.

Lightbulb: Fine, but when I come strutting in with your fuzzy socks I don't want to hear shit.

~

 Microphone: Two bros!

Lightbulb: Chillin' in a hot tub!

Microphone and Lightbulb, in unison: Zero feet apart 'cause we're GAY AS FUCK!

~

 Microphone: Okay, I'm going to get the wedding cake.

Lightbulb: Perfect, while you do that I'll check on the ring bear.

Microphone: ...

Microphone: You mean ring bearER, right?

Lightbulb: ...

Microphone: Look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to our wedding.

~

 Lightbulb: Relationships should be 50/50. Microphone cooks us dinner while I sit on the kitchen counter looking pretty.

~

 Lightbulb: Come to dinner tonight. I can't cook, but I'll bring plenty of free wine.

Microphone: Marry me.

~

 Microphone: Is something burning?

Lightbulb, leaning seductively on the counter: Just my desire for you.

Microphone: Lightbulb, the toaster is literally on fire.

~

 Microphone: I want to be with you for the rest of my life.

Lightbulb: Damn, that sounds like a marriage proposal.

Microphone, getting down on one knee: That's 'cause it is.

~

 Lightbulb: Can I have 2 straws with that milkshake?

Microphone: Aww-

Lightbulb: With 2 straws, I can drink it double as fast! 

~

*Microphone is crying after a breakup*

Lightbulb: There there, Microphone.

Microphone, still crying: Thanks, but how did you get into my room?

Lightbulb: Great question—

~ 

Microphone walking into the kitchen and seeing all their limes peeled: Lightbulb, I love you but, what the h-e-double FUCK.

Lightbulb, sipping coffee happily: I love you too :)

~

 Microphone: My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful and organized.

Lightbulb: *steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to their knees and sob while apologizing profusely*

Microphone: That one. I want that one.

~

 Microphone: We're getting married, bitches!

Lightbulb: And we're about to make it everybody else's problem.

~

 Lightbulb: Everything's fine, Microphone.

Microphone: Lightbulb, I know your relationship with the english language is strictly casual, but you- I- *deep inhale* ALLOW ME TO TELL YOU WHAT'S NOT FINE.

~

 Microphone: I can't take you seriously wearing that.

Lightbulb: Aw, you take me seriously at all?

Microphone: Fair point.

~

Lightbulb: Why do you not believe that ghosts are real?

Microphone: Never seen one.

Lightbulb: Okay, I mean, there's a lot of things that you can't see that are real.

Microphone: What can't I see?

Lightbulb: You can't see gravity. That's real.

Microphone: Yeah, I can drop an apple.

Lightbulb: Fuck.

~

Microphone: Why are you drinking?

Lightbulb: I drink when I'm depressed.

Microphone: But you're always drinking?

Lightbulb: *smug grin*

Tbh this quote describes Lightbulb in late II perfectly

~

Lightbulb: *About to do something incredibly stupid*

Microphone: I know I can't stop you, but I won't let you go by yourself.

~

 Lightbulb: Do you care if I take the skin off this Furby?

Lightbulb: I want to make him a god. Once he is free of his sinful flesh, he can begin a path towards enlightenment. He will take care of us.

Lightbulb: I also want to softhack his circuits.

Microphone: I literally could not care less but never say anything as frightening as that ever again.

~

 Lightbulb: Microphone and I are so close we even share a toothbrush.

Microphone: We what?

~

 Lightbulb, at Starbucks: Can I get a venti vanilla latte with um, seven espresso shots.

Microphone, in line behind them: Jesus Christ, just do cocaine.

~

 Lightbulb: *makes Microphone a cup of tea but puts salt in it*

Microphone: *sips tea*

Lightbulb:

Microphone: *finishes tea*

Lightbulb: Didn't it taste bad?

Microphone: Yeah, but I didn't want to hurt your feelings so I drank it all.

Lightbulb, tearing up: Oh, okay.

I can imagine her doing that on April Fools and then this happening  

~

Lightbulb: I failed my safety training course today.

Microphone: Why, what happened?

Lightbulb: Well one of the questions was "In case of a fire, what steps would you take?"

Microphone: And?

Lightbulb: Well apparently "FUCKING LARGE ONES" isn't an acceptable answer. 

~

Microphone: I'm going to hell.

Lightbulb: Probably.

Microphone: I'll pick you up?

Lightbulb: *nodding* Carpool. 

~

Okay that's it for now! Stay tuned for more chapters when I actually regain inspiration!