I thought of this last night whilst suffering from a stomach ache. I'm tired as hell and don't feel so good but at least I took a nap so I'm less tired than before. Enjoy!

*And now, Hotel OJ News!*

*A way too long intro with special effects and word art and more shit starts playing*

HOTEL OJ NEWS

Fan: *getting his cheeks powdered with make up by Salt and Pepper* 

Test Tube, from behind the camera: Fan, we're live!

Fan: Oh! Go- go away, I'm live- *waves his hand, signaling the girls to stop*

Salt and Pepper: *stop applying make up and walk away*

Fan: Hello viewers! I'm Fan, I am a fan, and I'm here TODAY, with Hotel OJ NEWS!!

Test Tube: WOOOooooooo! 

Fan: And in this news program, I will go down on MANY topics, and things going down here in Hotel OJ. SO LET'S BEGIN! *clears throat* Sh- Ugh where did I keep my papers? *rummages through desk drawers and eventually finds them* *pulls the papers out* Alright! Let's talk about Bow. No, I'm not talking about Bot, I'm talking about Ghost Bow. How is she doing? Is she still dead? Did she die (for the second time in her life) of boredom yet? We're now going over to Marshmallow, who is there to interview her.

*The screen splits so on the left you can see Fan and on the right you can see Marshmallow holding a mic with the logo of the news program*

Fan: Marshmallow, what's going on in Purgatory Mansion?

Marshmallow: I'm standing here in Purgatory Mansion, it's still as dusty as before. 

Fan: And how's Bow doing?

Marshmallow: I'm about to interview her right now, she's just grabbing a soda. 

Bow: *floats in* I'm here! Hello, hi! 

Marshmallow: Bow! How's it going?

Bow: Oh, y'know, it's going, cell service is still bad, Dough is still impersonating me, but at least you're here!

Dough: Does anyone wanna play Truth Or Dare?

Bow: STOP RHYMING! Weak-ass impersonator. 

Marshmallow: Aww, I missed you too. Do you ever miss being alive?

Bow: To be Frank with you, Marsh, and I still don't know who Frank is, I sometimes do. But hey at least we get more visitors now that people know of this place! There's this person named Bot and they once came here with this Goo guy. They looked like me but with long legs. They're such a vibe. So is the Goo guy. They call themselves the Cheer Factory!

Marshmallow: Well, that's nice! 

Dough: And I want rice.

Bow: *long sigh*

Dough: I also still wanna play Truth Or Dare.

Bow: ...BITCH-

*beep*

Marshmallow: Does any of you two want to say something to the viewers?

Bow, looking pissed off as fuck: Dough is a bitch.

Dough: ...I don't like her glare. *points at Bow*

Bow: Listen here you little-

*Fan comes on screen again*

Fan: *typing on his laptop* And then they ki- yeah they kissed.

Test Tube: Fan!

Fan: *perks up* Oh! Shi- Uh, *closes his laptop and yeets it somewhere* Wow! It seems like drama will go down there. Thanks Marshmallow. Now, canon, or not canon? That's what people have been wondering about Microphone and Lightbulb. 

*A picture of Mic and Lightbulb appears* 

Fan: So to answer that question, we have the master of investigating people in our studio! Say hello to Cabby!

*Cabby comes rolling in while Fan plays an applause SFX* 

Test Tube: Fan, couldn't you have invited the couple themselves?

Fan: No. There could be a chance they'll deny it. Now, Cabby, are you sure you know about them?

Cabby: Of course! It's all in my files.

Fan: Then spill the tea! Are they canon, or just friends?

Cabby: Oh, let me get my files for that. *rummages through her bottom drawer* I got it here somewhereeeee- aha! *pulls out a file about relationships between contestants* Let's seeeeee.............. According to my file, it's canon! 

Fan: REALLY? YES! 

Test Tube: No! You don't even know that! *walks up to Cabby* Listen here, you- you-

Cabby: I saw them kiss! 

Test Tube: *stops in her tracks* Oh. Well then. *walks back to behind the camera* 

Fan: And there you have it, people! Micbulb is canon! 

*Cabby rolls out of the studio* 

Fan: Okay! Now we're going over to SPORTS! 

*Trophy comes on screen* 

Trophy: Seriously? I'm the only one who- Ugh, fine. Since I'm the only one who sports here, I'll just show my muscles. *tenses up his arm, showing his biceps* As you can see, I've been working out a LOT. Now, for the ones who wants to see some sport, watch me to 100 push-ups. *gets down on the ground and starts doing push-ups* One, two, three... *continues counting his push-ups*

Lightbulb: *walks in* Hey guys! I can do that too. Watch! *gets down too* *pushes herself up* Hhhnnnnnggghhggh oNE- *falls down and shatters* X-X

Trophy: *stops doing push-ups to look at Lightbulb* Psh, pathetic. *contimues doing push-ups* Twelve, thirteen-

*Fan comes on screen again*

Fan: Woo! Good job there Trophy! Also uhhh someone get rid of Lightbulb's body. 

Test Tube: On it! *runs off* 

Fan: And now for the weather, what will this week's weather be, MePad?

*MePad comes in screen, with a map and stuff on the background, yk weather man stuff*

MePad: Hello viewers! This week will be a nice and warm week with temperatures up to 80,6° Fahrenheit (27° Celsius) at day and 64,4° Fahrenheit (18° Celsius) at night. There will be some clouds here and there, but it won't rain, so it's perfect weather to go outside and relax with a nice cold beverage. ^^

*Fan comes back on screen*

Fan: Thank you, MePad. 

Test Tube: Lightbulb is recovered!

Fan: Oh! Nice and exactly on time! Because now it' time for... HOTEL RESIDENT INTERVIEWS! With Lightbulb!

*Lightbulb comes on screen* I'm here in Hotel OJ and I'm gonna interview some people! 

~

Lightbulb: I'm in the painting classroom with Painty and Painty is making a beautiful painting- Hey Painty, what are you paintin'.

Paintbrush, working on a W.I.P. of them and OJ marrying each other: I can't show you.

Lightbulb: Awww, why not?

Paintbrush: Because it's a work on progress and it's not done yet!

Lightbulb: Aw Painty, can't we have a little sneak peak? 

Paintbrush: No.

Lightbulb: Please?

Paintbrush: No.

Lightbulb: Please?

Paintbrush: No.

Lightbulb: Pleeeeaaaase?

Paintbrush: ...No.

Lightbulb: Well shucks. Oh well! Then I'll just interview other people for now. Talk to ya later Painty!

Paintbrush: Yeah, bye Lightbulb.

~

Lightbulb: I'm now here with a fine young lady and she's about to sing for us.

Microphone: W-wait, I am?

Lightbulb, whispering: It's for the news.

Microphone: Uhm, ok, fine. *smiles* *starts singing* 🎵Come on guys don't argue-🎵

*Loud Mii music starts playing out of nowhere*

OJ, offscreen: Turn that Mii music off, I'm trying to work!

Cheesy, who's playing the Mii music: That sounds like a You problem, not a Mii problem! *knee slap*

Microphone: *audibly sighs* 

Lightbulb: Love ya.

Microphone: I love you too.

~

Lightbulb: *approaches Pickle* And what game are you pla-

Pickle: *gets killed in the game* FUCK!

Lightbulb, backing up: Eeehhhhhh I think I'll let you play for now...

~

Lightbulb: As you can see, there's a lot of action going o- 

*Paintbrush comes running in, chasing Yin-Yang, who stole their OJbrush marriage W.I.P.**

Paintbrush: GET THE FUCK BACK HERE!

Lightbulb: Oh hi Painty!

Yang: No way loser! *trips and falls face first on the painting*

Yin: Uurrghhh... *sits up* Oh no, Yang, we destroyed their painting!

Paintbrush: Mother...fucking... *bristles go ablaze* BITCHES! 

Lightbulb: We'll here's some news for ya Fan! The hotel's gonna burn!

Paper: *comes in with a fire extinguisher and activates it on Paintbrush, covering them in foam* 

Nickel: *comes running in* What is going on?

Balloon: *also comes running in* *huff, huff* What the fuck? *huff, huff*

Lightbulb: Alright, I think we got all the action here covered. Back to you, Fa- *slips on the fire extinguisher foam and falls* Whoaaoh- *shatters* X-X

*Back to Fan*

Fan: *eating popcorn* Oh-! Holy! So Micbulb really is canon AND there was some drama! Well that's what I call good news! Wait, no, uh... Yeah, that!s what I call news to share! This was the news everyone. Stay tuned for more news on Hotel OJ News! 

*Music plays as credits roll in and the lights fade out*

Woo! There will definitely be more of this kinda stuff in here shhehehehe

Also sorry if it's bad, I don't know shit about News and also am tired as shit.