Me: *screaming TØP lyrics*

Mom: You're so loud Lincoln and Hive can hear you!

Me:😐 mom, no...

____

Gavin: Is bellamy in the house?

Me: No, he went to Narnia with josh dun.

Gavin: So he is.

Me: *screams* why does no one ever believe me?!?
____

Mom:* yells from down the hall* did you finish making grandma's coffee?

Me:um, I'm doing it right now! It's like 98% done!

Me: *to myself * shoot, it's only, like, 50% done...

Me: no, it's 50% dun and 50% joseph...*laughs way too hard*
____

Mom: how do you make the coffee hotter than I make it?? It's a keurig!

Me: I don't know.  It must just be because I stand next to it.

Mom: *sarcastically* haha, you're so funny.

Me:I'm hilarious, mom. Come to think of it, my ice cream doesn't melt as fast as everyone else's.  Must be because I'm too cool.

Mom: *rolls eyes*

(but seriously,  she thinks I microwave the cup or something. 😂😂😂)
____

Me: why did the chicken cross the road?

Gavin:ugh, why?

Me: to visit the ugly person.

Gavin: ...what.

Me: knock, knock.

Gavin: who's there?

Me: The chicken.

Gavin: 😐 no.
____
Mom: this laundry is pretty dirty...think we should put it on heavy duty wash.

me: Can you save, can you save my, can you save my heavy duty wash!?

mom: no.
____

me: LET'S PLAY AGENT'S OF S.H.I.E.L.D.!

Gavin: YAY!  I'll be Mack!

me: I'll be Lincoln!

Tanner:I'LL BE PIPPIN!

Everyone: um...😐
_____
these are things that actually happened!