^^ SHANSHAN ^^

My eyes opened, only to see a pair of doe eyes wide open staring at me.

"You're awake," Jungkook spoke softly while still looking into my eyes. He was laid beside me under the blanket with his hands under his cheeks.

"What are you doing here?" I asked with my sleepy voice while rubbing my eyes.

"Ah," he moved to look at the ceiling. "Can I share your bedroom with you?"

"There are many guest rooms downstairs. Why choose here?" I frowned at him.

"I want to stay with you ." He mumbled and sighed. "Right now, all I want is to watch for you. I'm afraid that something will happen to you even when I know that we're staying under one house."

I put up a smile. "If-if you say so, I'll agree."

"Thank you."

"Jungkookah, thank you for worrying about me."

He smiled and reached out one of his hands and rubbed his thumb on my cheek. My cheeks tingled with every touch while I stared at him. He continued to do that while we locked our gaze on each other, his eyes filled with warmth and concern.

Before I could melt into his gaze, I cleared my throat and put my hand over my tummy. "I'm hungry."

That was when he stopped and lifted his head. "Ah y-yeah, you didn't wake up for lunch. Noona and hyung were here while you were in your deep sleep. We didn't want to interrupt your sleep, so we let you be."

"Really? Then..." I scratched my head and helped myself up. "How long was I sleeping?"

"You're asleep for more than ten hours. It's time for dinner already." He got out of the bed and went to the door. Moments later, he came back with two maids pushing a food trolley inside.

"I'll take it from here. Please take a rest. Goodnight."

I let out a grin. "Ah, he really wants to take care of me. How cute. And heartwarming."

"Princess Shanshan, I have Korean dishes cooked for your dinner tonight!" He took away all the covers, revealing all the food in front of me. 

"Woah- what?" I chuckled at him, not able to control the joy I felt for his simple action.

"Roger said you are not eating much these days, so hyung, Lily-noona, and I helped one another to cook something that could at least increase your appetite. We hope you'll like it." He smiled with pride and sat beside me.

"I will surely like it. By the way, where are they?"

Before speaking, he took a spoon and bowl of rice to feed me. "We are already done for dinner, and the two were in their rooms with their paper works."

"Oh, poor them. They had to bring their tasks with them while staying here with me," I sighed before opening my mouth to receive a spoonful of rice.

"And how about you? Aren't you busy?" I asked, my question making him pause but then he continued to feed me.

"I was banned from performing actually, and I made it an opportunity to come here."

"Huh?" I looked at him, but his eyes focused on the food, obviously avoiding my gaze.

"What happened?" Even if I did not know the reason, I could feel like I was to blame.

"Let's... talk about it later. I want you to finish all your food first," Jungkook said softly and looked at me with a hint of embarrassment. "Eat this eggroll. I put so much effort rolling it on the pan."

I scoffed at him. "Stop talking about efforts. That is so easy to cook!"

"Tsk. I learned it from Lily-noona just a while ago. And my cooking was perfect on the first try. Am I not amazing?"

"I'll have to admit it, you are amazing," I grinned at him before taking a bite. "You are golden maknae for a reason."

He tried to pull a smile. I was smiling at him too, but we both knew that deep inside, we were breaking.

A few minutes later, I was done with dinner and was put in my wheelchair. I wanted to take a walk outside, but winter was coming soon, and the air outside was getting colder, so I had to endure staying inside my cozy room.

"I can push you around the hallway if you feel exhausted inside your room. Or maybe you want to show me around your luxurious home," Jungkook spoke after coming out of the shower.

"I can show you around," I agreed.

^^ JUNGKOOK ^^

We began to wander from room to room. From Shanshan's late father's home office to her stepbrother's game rooms, she spoke with her memories in each room. Some were astonishing but mostly heartbreaking.

"In this music room, I couldn't perfect the notes while learning to play it with my violin, so Monalyn locked me here for a day until I played the song perfectly."

I stared blankly at the grand piano in the middle of the room. "Why does she only have sad memories in this mansion?"

Next, we came inside a room full of books, the scent of paper immediately entering my nose, which I liked. We were inside a fancy library, all books displayed from wall to wall with a fireplace and some decorative displays, making it look like a mini-museum.

"I loved it here. Since my brothers aren't fond of reading, I spent my time here when I need to be in peace."

"You seem to only have the best memory inside this room. Have you read half of these books?" I asked, looking up at the high shelves of books.

"Not really. I only came here to cry, several times, actually."

I swallowed hard. "This mansion is not home for her. That's why she ran away. How much did she suffer? How long did she try to endure? Even now, she has to endure the pain of dying."

"JK. Will you tell me why you are banned from performing?"

I looked at her, her back facing me while I was holding on to the wheelchair's push handles. "Should I tell her?... I should be honest."

I cleared my throat. "First of all... the thing that happened at that bridge, I admit I became possessive, and jealousy took over me, pushing me to do that. I'm very sorry about it."

I waited for a response, but she sat still, looking forward.

"After you left, I started to slack off from work. I didn't have the interest to perform anymore. I got depressed. I tried to do anything just to forget the pain... until... Lily- noona found those letters..." I paused, trying to finish my story. "I got crazy after reading your message. I went into road rage and nearly ran on a pedestrian and almost bumped on a truck, but I was lucky that no accidents happened."

"You went into a road rage?" This time she turned her head to look at me.

I nodded.

I knew she wanted to scold me, but she also wanted me to continue. She then turned straight ahead and waited for me to continue.

"When I finally cooled down, police cars were after me. I was guilty of violent driving, and my label got angry at me. News spread fast on TV and affected my reputation because everyone was angry, and I had to be banned from performing with the members on the next award ceremonies... I realized that I really messed up."

"You messed up because of me."

"N-no. It was all my fault. Looking back at it, I handled things childishly, blinded by my selfishness. I was asking myself why we can't fall in love with each other when I was unaware that you... you didn't want me to get hurt if you would leave. I realized everything after I learned that you're sick."

I wanted to cry, but enough with that. We had shed many tears and suffered many things that my eyes couldn't let out tears anymore.

"But why Shanshan? Why can't you just let me love you and get hurt? Why won't you let me spend time with you until the last minute? I know that you care about my feelings, but-"

She began to move from her seat. She shakily held on the sides of the wheelchair and tried to stand.

"What are you doing?" I went to hold her steady as she looked at me.

"I want to see your face while we talk."

"Oh." I stared at her eyes. Just then, I knew what to do. I lifted her up and gently placed her on a table nearest to us.

"JK."

I laid my hands on her sides while she looked down on her lap and played with her sweater paws.

"I didn't want you to get hurt when I leave, JK."

"Speaking of that, you do have feelings for me too, but you're trying to hide it because you know you're dying," I spoke softly with a hurt expression in my eyes.

"I-it-it's not like that, I-"

"Admit it already, Shanshan. You have feelings for me too." I cut her off, trying to stop her from denying her own feelings.

"Ah..." she shot me a glare and crossed her arms. "What should I do with you?"

I moved closer to her, inhaling her warm breath. "Just let me love you, Shanshan."

She grew quiet. She released her hands and put them on my chest. "A few days ago, I dumped Mark. And mind you, you had a wrong impression of him. He's actually a nice guy."

"Really? So why did you dump him?" I asked, already in a daze with her beautiful eyes.

"Because I..." She shyly looked to the side, then back at me again. "I love you too, Jungkook."

My heartbeat stopped as she spoke those words while looking into my eyes. Right now, she was blushing.

"I said I love you," she repeated, looking up at me with desperation.

Happiness bloomed from my chest while I smiled at her. I pulled her to me and kissed her softly on the lips, making her eyes flutter.

"That's it. That is just what I wanted to hear," I whispered and kissed her again. This time, it was passionate and deep.

We hugged each other tightly, not wanting to let each other go as we sank into each other's warm embrace.

I promise to love you... until the end.

^^. . ^^

^^ Photo source: Unsplash https://unsplash.com/s/photos/korean-food ^^

^^ Photo by: Rafael M. on Unsplash https://unsplash.com/s/photos/fancy-library ^^