A relaxing shower was what I needed after such a day. The jet of water along my back is almost like a massage; it beats on the back of my neck and I close my eyes. The steam invades the bathroom and envelops me in a warm, humid cloud. She is still in my thoughts.

Serena and I had never spent so much time together, alone. I wanted to tell her that I couldn't help her, since I felt so vulnerable in her presence, but I just couldn't. I could not refuse.

The vibes I felt were so misleading. One moment she was looking at me as if she couldn't help it and the next she was hiding behind a shy silence. If she's playing, she does it damn well. But she's not that kind of woman.

I saw the love between her and Claudio born and mature, becoming aware that together they could be better.
But now, all I can see is that they look tired. Tired of chasing each other, because their lives have taken different paths, leaving different teachings for both. Their thinking has changed, as an obvious consequence of an individual's growth.

On the other hand, unfortunately for me, even at thirty-five I have the same head as when I was ten years younger. I don't think I'm less mature, just different. It says a lot that I've never been in a real relationship.
Well, maybe I'm a little immature about that, if being afraid to commit makes me so. Maybe I haven't found the right one yet.

And while I'm talking about finding the right one, the display of my cell phone starts flashing. I'll take a look, even if I already know who it is. And yet no. This time the name is different and unexpected; it's Serena's.

I feel my heart in my throat, salivation at the lowest terms. What does my body want from me? Why does it lose control when it comes to her? Trying to recover from the surprise, I swallow hard and clear my throat. «Yep?»

«Daniele, I'm sorry if I bother you at this hour. I know I've already occupied most of your day, but it's important», she says in one breath.

«Don't worry, tell me.» I sit on the bed and realize that I'm completely naked. I pull off the sheet and cover myself. Like she can see me. I roll my eyes. What an idiot.

«I have some more information about that company and some names you might find useful. I'm too wrapped up in this to be able to sleep through it without letting you know first.»

I hear the agitation in her voice and the thought of hugging her to calm her down rushes through my mind. Once again, I roll my eyes.

«Ok», I sigh, «tomorrow come to the office to update me.»

«Tomorrow?»

Even through the cell phone I can intercept her disappointment. «Yes, tomorrow. Now go to bed and try to get some rest. It will be a tiring battle. Good night, Serena.» I close the call.

I might sound like an asshole, but the truth is I'm scared. A fucking fear of myself and of this uncontrollable desire, which I feel, to embrace her despite not having her twenty centimeters from my face. I thought the distance was enough, but I was wrong.
I collapse onto my back and take a deep breath. Again, I tell myself that everything I feel is wrong, that Claudio is my best friend and his wife is off-limits. I'll repeat it to myself ad nauseam, until I'm convinced. But for now, I want the thought of her in my arms to stay with me a little longer.

I close my eyes and try to relax, but my body fights it. I'm too full of adrenaline and her voice made me more excited. I put my running pants on and jump on the treadmill. The ever-increasing speed requires more attention and I can finally clear my mind of everything that has been nagging me. The only thing that matters now is to put my feet in front of each other and not fall.

I'm in the shower again and I'm definitely feeling more tired. Maybe I'll collapse as soon as my head hits the pillow and another day will start again tomorrow.

An hour of running, almost all at top speed, took away the energy I had in excess and also something more. I already feel my lids heavier. I put on my briefs and dive into my nice double bed. I never like to restrict my spaces. I've always worked to earn a salary appropriate to the expenses I wanted to do and not vice versa, as the vast majority of people do. This makes me an ambitious one, I know, but I don't regret it. Claudio has been praying for a promotion for years, while I have simply decided to be my own boss. In my law firm, I'm the only one with carte blanche. I could take two months off and no one would dare say anything to me. I'm truly the best in my industry. Presumption? I prefer to call it self-confidence. As Serena says: "It's all about skill. You're either skilled, or you're not."

And here my eyes widen again. Somebody just rang the bell. I sigh and get up to open it.
«What you doing here?»

«I see you're happy to see me.» Clara moves me and walks in as if nothing had happened.

«You can't show up at my house like that.» She looks at me and I feel uncomfortable. I'm naked, except for my underwear. Not that she hasn't seen me like this before, but I was always ready before.

«Since when did it become a problem?» she approaches and I feel hunted. I can't hide that she always has a certain effect on me, at least not dressed like that. But I don't want to use her. I step back and reach for some pants. «What are you doing?» she freezes, looking hurt.

«Clara, listen to me, I don't want to do it like this.» I hop while tucking my legs into my pants. I'm starting to sweat, trying to find the right way out of this situation. «I really like you, but we can't keep it up.»

«Screw you, Daniele!» she blurts out, bringing her face dangerously close to mine. «I knew it. I knew you would.» She points at me.

«Clara, please.»

«No! Please, a piece of shit! I asked you not to treat me like a delicate little flower. Why you wanna screw it up, huh? Why?»

I grab her shoulders «because I care about you and it may seem strange to you, but I'm worried.»

She looks at me as if her head is in another place and kisses me; then she lets her hands go down towards the closure of my trousers. «You don't have to worry about me.»

«Clara», I stop her hands, despite her input being successful. «Why don't you tell me the real reason you're here?»

«Shit!» she blurts out between her teeth, walking away from me.

«Clara!» I grab her by the arm, forcing her to look into my eyes. She seems to be on the verge of tears and my stomach locks up.

«I don't want it to end between us.»

The sincerity and pain I perceive in those words breaks my heart, so I hug her. «I'll always be there for you, okay? Sex or not. Great sex, by the way.» I smile, and she does the same.

«I'm sorry I popped in here unannounced.»

«Tell me what's going on.»

She still tries to smile. «Maybe one day. I'm not ready to do that now.» She's sincere, I know, and her eyes shine again.

«One day, then.» I stroke her cheek.

«One day.» She clears her throat and puts on that sly look of hers again. «Can I stay here, tonight? Just to sleep, I promise.» She brings her hand to her heart and smiles mischievously.

«Well. You already know where my room is.» I indicate the direction with a nod of the head and I prepare to sleep on the sofa.

She scowls. «Do you sleep here?»

«Clara.»

«What? Are you afraid of me now?»

«No, I'm not afraid of you.» It's a lie. Yes I'm afraid of her, but more of me. Clara has a body that any woman would envy and I haven't had much self-control lately. I already know how this is going to end and she seems to know it too. She shrugs, lets her dress fall down and walks away towards the bedroom.

Damn it! I hold on to the sofa and squeeze the fabric between my fists.

She turns back and grins mischievously. All my previous speeches go up in smoke when she also takes off her underwear and she remains completely naked. She covers herself with one arm, while she reaches out with the other and drops her bra on the floor as well.

She waits for me to join her. She knows I will.

And I don't disappoint her. I slowly approach, making the desire I see in her eyes grow, the same one that inhabits mine right now. Her pale skin, in contrast to her long black hair, gives her a special glow. The moon, with its rays that penetrate the huge window that overlooks my garden with the swimming pool, completes the whole. I touch her face with my fingers and I take possession of her lips, letting her get lost in my arms. The bed is just a few steps away from us and that's the direction we're heading, but once again, someone rings the bell.

I move away from her. «I'll unplug that damn thing sooner or later.»

«Don't go,» she keeps taking my lips between hers.

«I can't,» I try to free myself from her growing excitement, «I'll be quick.»

She sighs and falls back onto the bed. «It will be better for you.» With the usual mischievous look, she opens and closes her legs in a split second, making me gasp for breath. Temptress. I bite my bottom lip and point her with my finger, trying to find something to say, but I can't. She left me speechless. She laughs and I take the opportunity to go to the door.

I'm just in my underwear, again. I rummage around and the only thing I find is the sofa cover. I grab it and wrap it around my waist. It won't be the best, but at least it covers my nudity.

I open the door.

«Serena?» I freeze, as she does when she realizes I'm shirtless. She blushes slightly.

«I'm sorry. I tried to do as you told me, but I failed. This thing is killing me. I'm worried about my company.»

«Okay. I understand and I promise you that I will do everything to win, but you have to stay calm.»

«Yes, but I can... I can...»

I know what she would like, but now is not the right time. I can't let her in. Clara is naked in the bedroom.

«Does Claudio know you're here?» I hate bringing him up and seeing her expression when I do it. This makes me feel even worse.

«What has Claudio to do with it? It's my job that it's about.» She crosses her arms and looks at me annoyed.

«I just think he might start to get worried if he sees you leaving the house at this hour.» I curse myself for making it worse. I really look like an asshole.

«Claudio had to stay in the office since you worry so much about him.» she squeezes her arms.

«I... I don't... » I roll my eyes and sigh. Seems to be what I've been doing best lately. «I'm not worried about Claudio.»

«So what?» she comes over and looks into my eyes.

Maintaining his determined gaze is an arduous undertaking. I almost feel like a fool in front of her. She's so damn beautiful «Forget it.»

«Dany, is everything okay?» Clara decides that my time with Serena is over. She shows up at the entrance wearing one of my shirts, which on another occasion would have been the fuse that would ignite the passion between us.

«Oh!» Serena looks disoriented and sorry. «I didn't know...» she avoids eye contact with me and turns to leave.

«Serena...»

«Daniele?» Clara looks into my eyes «it's for her, isn't it?» My sorry look is the answer she is looking for. She goes to the bedroom to get dressed.

«Clara.»

My nightmare has come true and the worst thing is that neither of them is actually my woman. I know I must do something, but I can't move. I'm stuck between them and I don't have time to make a decision anymore.

Serena is about to open the car door, while Clara is ready to leave.

I turn to look at one, then the other.

I don't think Serena was hurt to see another woman in my house. She's my best friend's wife, not my girlfriend. Instead Clara was here for me, only for me, and not for her damned job.

Serena has gone away and Clara passes in front of me to cross the threshold that will take her away from me. I grab her arm and stop her from fleeing. «Let me go, Daniele!» She tries to break free.

«I can't,» I wrap my arms around her, «and I don't want to.» It's only a matter of seconds before she starts sobbing. «It will all be fine. Stay and we'll talk.» She hugs me with all the strength she possesses and I can't do anything but console her.