Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?
He will stop at nothing to avoid them.

What did the Tin Man say when he got ran over by a steamroller?
"Curses! Foil again!"

What do you call a number that can't keep still?
A roamin' numeral

Why do we tell actors to "break a leg"?
Because every play has a cast.

Clones are people two.

I have a fear of speed bumps.
But I'm slowly getting over it.

Whiteboards are remarkable.

I'm very good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why.