Wait, what the hell?

Luca has parents?

Well adjusted, competent parents who actually love him? And not like Paw Patrol adults where they're so useless it's criminal, but his dad is actually giving legal perspectives on a lawsuit.

"I could have sworn you were an orphan," I blurted out to Luca just as his dad finished explaining the complications involved in this lawsuit.

"Me too," BIRD admitted.

"That's not the first time someone's said that," Anna Cardego said, and she set the papers in his hand on the table. "I might start taking it as a criticism of my parenting."

I gasped, put my hand over my mouth, and sat up straighter. Luca's mother had a certain presence about her, a sense of 'fuck with me at your peril' that made me very wary of upsetting the woman.

Also, I was just a little jealous of Anna. I remain strongly convinced that I will not age nearly as well as she has. The woman had grey hair and wrinkles, sure, but she wore it like a goddamn badge of honour. She still looked impressively fit, and rugged living on Earth had maintained a muscle tone I'll admit I just probably don't possess.

Also, dat ass. As someone who strives to cultivate and maintain a debonair derrière, I could and still can appreciate an accomplishment when I see it.

Lito Cardego chose as wisely as Indiana Jones did in The Last Crusade.

"No apology?" Anna Cardego asked. She looked back at me with a look that cats must wear when they have a mouse cornered.

I swallowed hard and held out my hands. "Most billionaires who have living parents are usually possessive assholes."

Anna laughed, and my nose was immediately relieved that it wasn't about to be broken. "Fair point. I've been to a few of these galas my son has to attend. Well, one gala. Most of one. Ninety minutes of one."

I laughed. "Okay, I need to hear that story."

"Not much to tell," Anna said with a shrug. "Some jackass at the party kicked a puppy hard enough to make it limp, and I had just seen John Wick for the first time. Surgeon said he had never heard of anyone shattering a champagne bottle against someone's leg before."

Just for the record, champagne bottles are quite a bit thicker than most wine bottles. Dealing with the pressure of carbonized wine and all that. So the idea of breaking one of those things against a fleshy leg should terrify you.

"Anyway, let's find you some of my hiking pants," Anna said. "Even if you're going to be flying that dropship Viviana left for us, it's best to be prepared. And I'll see if I have a pair of proper boots for you."

"What's wrong with my boots?" I asked.

"Notice how your ankles are sore, your feet hurt, and your toes feel like you've been kicking a brick wall all day?" Anna queried in response. I looked down at my feet, and the more I paid attention to them, the more I realized she was right.

"Wearing heels on a dirt trail will do that to you. More so if you spend a lot of time under pansy gravity like the Moon. You're on a real planet right now, darling, and you need to wear smarter shoes," Anna said, and her cocky drawl reminded me quite a lot of her son.

"Okay, I'll take it," I conceded. She lead me into a small, well organized room in the back, which looked halfway between a spare bedroom and an armoury. Well-oiled, thick leather shoes of various sizes sat in rows, along with pants and shirts that looked like they had seen a lot of use. Shirts with scuff marks and stitched up rips, pants with more patches than a nicotine addict having a bad week, and gloves that looked like you could wear them to safely fish things out of a running meat grinder.

"Luca's attacked you before," I said, looking at the thick stitching on one of the shirts.

"Yes, he has, but none of this is from him," Anna insisted. "I used to run a mercenary company, 'Peace of Mind'. I retired when it turned out Luca had a werewolf problem, and Lito was rich enough to buy this watershed and nature preserve off of BC Hydro."

"Peace of Mind?" I asked. "Do you know Lanval Adams?"

"I do," Anna said. "Solid head on his shoulders, knows that keeping an excellent reputation means you'll never be out of good paying work. I was happy to see him take over the company after the board bought out my shares. How is he?"

"He was the one hired to deliver Luca that notice," I said.

"They hired Lanval to be a process server? Sounds like someone with a lot more money than sense. That or they thought my son would try to hide behind his Corporation."

"Lanval was pretty shocked when Luca offered to sign for it," I said. "And I'm pretty sure the Cardego Corporation's income is based entirely on his abs."

Anna laughed. "His abs are currently insured for sixty-four billion dollars."

I giggled at that. Then I laughed harder when I realized she wasn't kidding.

Anna laid out some clothes on the bed, and set a pair of boots nearby. "Thought you'd prefer the thigh-high ones. If you have them for more than a couple of days, remember to rinse them off if you get a lot of salt on them. I've had these for over twenty years. Otherwise, get dressed, briefing is in ten minutes."

I nodded to Anna before she shut the door and gave me some privacy. Oddly enough, even BIRD had flown off without saying anything, and I was left to myself for the first time since I had crash-landed on Mars all of...

Wait, it had only been about a day so far. Wow.

I sighed and picked up the shirt, and nearly dropped it because I wasn't expecting it to be so heavy. It was soft and cottony, but the material was thicker than some drapes, and felt durable enough that I'd need a hacksaw to cut through it. The pants were similar, and almost felt like I'd be wearing armour if I put them on.

It took me a while to realize that I was putting on armour, because I was going into battle. I whistled, and wondered what the hell Luca could become that his parents too it so seriously.

I pulled myself out of my flight suit, and started putting on the clothes. The shirt really did feel like it had the heft of a suit of armour, and was nicely loose in the shoulders. The pants fit nicely, and didn't completely blot out my assets. But those boots...

Did I ever mention I'm a sucker for thigh-high boots? Yeah, I didn't know either until I put them on for the first time, but dang. Thick leather boots should not be as comfortable as those were, they ruined me for pretty much everything in my wardrobe.

I tied back my hair, put on the gloves, and for the first time in my life, didn't bother to look myself over. I didn't need to.

The armour fit, and I already knew everything I needed about it. There was no reason to do anything other than carry on with my night.

Kinda wonder if this is how guys feel about getting dressed most of the time. If it is, they are totally on to something, because this indifference feels great.

I left the room, walked down the stairs, and opened the door just as I heard Luca say, "Someone we know is working with the people behind this lawsuit."

I nearly gasped, and froze in place. Tears welled in my eyes, and it felt like someone punched me in the stomach when he father nodded in agreement. "Worse. Someone who heard Alcuard use his full name today," Lito replied. "And I don't think that's a long list."

"Oh no," I said, and my trembling hands gripped the back of a nearby chair. "You suspect me, don't you?"

The three men at the table exchanged a long, grim glance. The silence that passed between them was ominous, and as menacing as the dark night that lurked just beyond the porch. Lito's expression was dark and murderous, Luca looked as if his eyes had already transformed into that werewolf, and Alcuard might already be grieving for me.

At least I thought their expressions were grim and terrible, until I saw all three of them crack up and explode into a fit of giggles.

I wasn't sure if I should be relieved or offended at this point.

Luca's head was dropped, and he pounded the table with the palm of his hand. "Okay, Izzy, that was hilarious. Oh, I needed that laugh."

"Now I understand the two of them, but why are you laughing, old wolf?" I asked Lito. I pointed a finger at him as I sat down at the table, and dared him to keep laughing with the harshest glare I had. At which point he laughed even harder.

Lito took a deep breath and managed to steady himself long enough to answer. "You'd be comically inept to have stepped through the portal after you shivved him in the back. Nah, like your vampire crush in this love triangle, you're way beyond suspicion. I'd even suspect Viviana before you right now."

Lito's smile faded, and he turned back to Luca. "Any reason you might have to suspect Vivi?"

"No. If she wanted to stab me in the back, she'd have been a lot more effective," Luca said placatingly. "It's possible someone on Living the Dream might have been bought off. Being able to retire early is always an effective incentive to turn on your employer."

"Living the Dream?" I asked. "Is that what you called your yacht?"

"Yeah. Big ship thrusting boldly into the dark. What else would I call it?"

"Compensating?"

"Do you really think my arrogance is so shallow?" Luca asked, and the confidence in that satisfaction was so solid you could have built a skyscraper on it.

I sighed, defeated. "No. Beneath your arrogance there is nothing but conceit and satisfaction."

"And a werewolf," Lito said. "So if we can't think of anyone who might have done the deed, we should move on. Your mother is almost ready, son."

"There is another possibility, and it appears to be the missing member of our merry band," Alcuard said, and he pointed to me. Or more precisely, my shoulder. "Where is BIRD?"