"Never mind birdbrain." Luca shrugged indifferently and gestured widely with his arms. "It's not like that motorized iPhone is secretly working with a cabal of vindictive billionaires to ruin me and claim Mars for themselves. Izzy's metal familiar is probably just pondering the nature of the universe while hiding in a tree."

Isabella's eyes were somewhat transfixed on his arms, and she only nodded along in agreement. Luca suspected he could have told her he was giving Mars to her and she wouldn't have noticed. His mother though, who had just stepped out onto the porch to join them after finding Isabella real clothes, shot him an amused frown.

"That was a curiously specific example you chose," Alcuard noted. He leaned forward in his chair and stroked his chin. "BIRD might have accused you of blatant foreshadowing."

"Catch me up here," Lito said. He set the stack of legal documents down with a swift swing of his wrist, and the sound it made was remarkably similar to the last time a hedge fund manager had been slapped during a pool party. "This robot of yours, BIRD, it's a roving memory backup device, isn't it?"

"Yes," Isabella said. "Newest model. Most of them are just propeller drones that hover about ten feet away from you."

"So BIRD has constant access to remote servers in order to back up information. And since I believe someone said you're a freighter captain, BIRD must work in space."

"Yep. Even worked on Mars," Isabella said proudly. "Best damn purchase I've made. Only cost a few hundred dollars."

At that, Luca frowned. If there was one thing he knew nearly as well as the uplifting effects of plastic surgery, it was business. And there was simply no way that a self-actualized artificial intelligence with a direct connection to remote servers could be that cheap.

"BIRD was a plant," Luca said.

"I didn't know you believed in reincarnation," Isabella said.

"What? No, like planting a bug."

"Why would you plant a bug? They aren't seeds."

"You're fucking with me, aren't you." Luca cringed and rubbed at his eyes.

"Language," Lito said idly, not really putting any feeling into his rebuke.

"Okay, so BIRD was sold to Isabella for a reason," Luca thought aloud. "And because BIRD worked on Mars, we can probably safely assume that it has some kind of quantum entangled networking device. Heck, it's entirely possible that BIRD is actually a hyper-intelligent AI running from somewhere else entirely, and just uses BIRD like a kid using a remote-controller car."

"Again, an oddly specific and narratively convenient bit of conjecture," Alcuard said. "Yet it sounds very probable, I cannot fault the logic. BIRD struck me as oddly unfocused and far too clever for the limited space its chassis would allow for a neural network."

"So birdbrain's brain isn't in its body," Lito said, and he smirked derisively. "That almost writes itself. But for the moment, I don't want anyone to do anything about this new problem. Until we have the breathing space to focus on BIRD, it can wait."

"Agreed," Anna said as she sat down next to Lito. "Tonight's going to be risky enough without any complications."

"What time is sunrise?" Luca asked.

"Six-fourteen," Lito answered, turning to Alcuard and Isabella. "He will be a werewolf from the rise of the full moon until the rise of the sun, which tonight means about seven hours. So until we can see the sun, the wolf will attack any person or animal it can see or hear."

"I take it you can't lock him up or cage him? I imagine you've tried it before," Alcuard asked.

Anna shook her head. "We have. Even when we managed to contain him, the poor boy nearly killed himself trying to get out. So far, our best option has been to keep him here, and keep him focused on Lito during his transformation."

"He hunts you?" Alcuard asked incredulously. "How dangerous is he?"

"Now that he's an adult," Lito began to say, before Isabella snorted in laughter. "Okay, now that he's fully grown, he transforms into a wolf about the size of a black bear. He can run a little faster than a horse."

"Can you contract werewolfism if he bites you?" Isabella asked.

"Put Wattpad away," Lito said. "If that wolf bites you, you'll probably contract a bad case of 'bleed out and die'. I've seen him actually catch a cougar, spent the rest of the morning collecting bits of that poor critter all the way down that hillside you walked up."

"I suppose normally it's a cougar's undergarments," Isabella said.

"Hey, that's my darling son you're talking about," Anna said, and she pointed a finger at Isabella. His mother's disapproving frown lasted another couple of seconds before she cracked a smile. "But yes, we've had to look around for missing swimsuits before."

"Mom," Luca groaned.

"Do you remember that lake party you threw on your yacht last year? The one for the centennial celebration of lunar colonies?" Anna asked with a frown. "The head of maintenance is a friend of mine. She spent all afternoon crying that the purification filters had been clogged up by a wad of thongs slightly larger than a beach ball."

Isabella coughed and Alcuard looked like he was trying to get his eyes to fall out of their sockets. Luca covered his face in his hands and groaned. "This is why I don't bring girls home to meet you guys."

"Asides from Viviana," Lito said. "She has a good head on her shoulders. Don't fuck that up, because her jilted lover retribution might involve dropping your yacht on you. And, knowing my luck, I'd be nearby."

"Viviana's not-" Luca began to say, but Lito waved his hands.

"It's okay. It's complicated," Lito said placatingly, his voice gentle. "And you have that idiot board of directors to worry about. Anyway, Anna, if you'd get the spotter drones in the air, Luca can go walk Isabella to the drop-ship before he lowers himself into the cavern. I'll give Alcuard the rundown about how we keep the wolf from killing us."

"Right, Dad," Luca said, and he stood up. He pointed down another path from the side of the house, and turned to Isabella. "Coming?"

"Right behind you," Isabella said.

Luca started down the path, but a hand on his shoulder stopped him. He turned back to see both of his parents were right behind him, and both of them were smiling. "You don't get to leave without a proper goodbye, kid," his mother said to him, and she wrapped her arms around his chest and held him close. "We love you. And we'll see you when the sun rises."

"When the sun rises." Luca nodded, closed his eyes, and rested his chin on his mother's head. He felt his father wrap his arms around them both, and squeeze gently. "When the sun rises."

Luca's parents pulled themselves away a moment later and turned to their tasks, leaving Luca with Isabella. She was giving him a quizzical look, and her mouth was moving slowly without making a sound.

"What?" Luca asked.

"I am still so confused. You are weirdly well-adjusted for a disgustingly rich man who can identify a plastic surgeon by the boobs they make. You're supposed to be either a possessive prick or a tragic orphan."

"Well, if my choices in life are Wattpad billionaire or Batman, I'd pick the Wattpad billionaire. But only because I love my parents and Batman is an orphan," Luca said.

Luca lead Isabella down the familiar path to a clearing, and to the dropship.

Luca really wasn't that good with ships. Much like cars, phones, and wine, Luca could barely tell ships apart. A fighter looked an awful lot like a freighter, a destroyer and a dinghy were only distinguishable because one was bigger, and the only reason Luca could pick out his yachts in a crowd was because they had accommodate the size of things like the in-ship lake, the swimmable money vault, and the quidditch pitch.

About the only thing that gave Luca any clue about the quality of the small ship parked in the clearing was the fact that Isabella's mouth hung open, and she was drooling just a little. Asides from the direction her eyes were pointed, it was exactly the same expression she usually had on when she stared at his chest.

"That's a special-ops dropship," Isabella whispered. She wiped away the drool with her sleeve and started skipping as she ran towards the vessel in the clearing. "Oh, you slick, sleek, beautiful creature. You and I are going to have a lot of fun together."

"Now now, dinner and dancing first, darling," Luca said.

"So not directed at you," Isabella retorted without looking back. "Oh, you look like everything a girl needs."

"Okay, I'll go leave the two of you alone in a minute," Luca said. He stepped past her, and walked up and underneath the open belly of the ship. "But there's one thing I need to show you first. You see this cable?"

"Yeah, it's a rapid rappel line," Isabella said.

"Well, I'm adding something to it," Luca said, as he reached into his pocket. He pulled out his portal device, and pointed it at the end of the cable. With a whoosh and a fizzle, a black sphere appeared at the end of the line, dangling in the open air.

"A recent development with the portal device lets me tether it to an object. The other side of the portal will be a few feet above the water in the middle of the lake. If it looks like someone's going to get mauled by me while I'm transformed, use that to get them to safety. My dad's a decent swimmer, and I don't think Alcuard needs to breathe. If the wolf chases them in the water, well, the wolf isn't all that much better than dad is at swimming. You should have plenty of time to use the other line and pull them out."

Isabella nodded. "Sounds like you thought this through," she said.

"Yeah. There's also a mini gun and cluster rockets. Gonna trust your judgement, but keep in mind I'd rather not wake up than wake up with someone else's blood on my hands. Heck, I'd prefer missing a hand to that."

"It's not going to come to that," Isabella insisted.

There was a surprising confidence in her voice, an assurance that ran surprisingly deep, and helped calm Luca's nerves. He sighed, rubbed his hair, and nodded. "Thanks."

"But just in case, is there like a mating ritual for werewolves? Where you bite me in the neck and claim me as yours?" Isabella asked with a sassy smirk. "And you can get overly possessive every time you see me?"

"Wattpad's bad for your mental health. Go get flying," Luca said, as he turned away. "And help keep my family in good health."

"What about Alcuard?"

"What about him? He's already dead," Luca said. He laughed and held out his hands placatingly when he saw Isabella's expression. "Him too. It's been a long time since I've found friends like you guys."

Luca turned away and loped off into the night, unable to remember ever being happier in the hours before a full moon.