Me: Previously on Something Unexpected...

Darth Vader: There are only two archers competing now: Legolas and Merida.

Me: And they're in The Old Forest! Will they die? Oh! I hope they don't die!

GodismyDD: I'll just write them back to life if they die!

Rumpelstiltskin: But don't forget that all magic must come at a price, dearie.

Me: Go away Rumpel!

GodismyDD: *writes him away* In my world, there is no magic. In this world, I and simply an author. And being an author means I can write death, destruction, and many other terrible and sad and horrific things! And it also means I can bring life, rainbows, candy and unicorns!

Me: Wow... you sound like an evil overlord. Well, the first part did.

Darth Vader: You're like... Q from Star Trek.

GodismyDD: Am not! I DO NOT like Q ONE BIT! Especially his son.... ugh!

Me: Yeah... we're just... hmm...

Darth Vader: In our eyes you are overlords. You're like, the all-power beings that control everything that happens in our lives.

Me: Except even in this book it is God that does all of that.

GodismyDD: Wow, being an author is like magic, isn't it?

Me: Yeah! Except it's non-magical.

Darth Vader: *raises an eyebrow*

I: JUST GET ON WITH THE STORY ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We: Wow, I've never seen I like this.

I: Actually, what you mean to say was- oh, wait, you meant it as in... oh...

GodismyDD: On with the story!

*Legolas and Merida walk cautiously through The Old Forest. There was a creepy blue glow... everything had a blue tint. Everything was creepy and there were SO MANY TREES!

Merida: I think you got us even more lost than we were before.

Legolas: No, we're still going the right way.

Merida: But that tree wasn't there a second ago.

Legolas: The trees like to try and confuse those who enter this forest.

Merida: What are you saying? *she says mockingly* That the trees just move all by themselves?

Legolas: *nods* That's exactly what I am saying.

Merida: *raises an eyebrow* Okay... *stretches out the word* I think this forest has done something to mess with yer head. There is no way that a tree can... *a tree uproots itself and moves to a different area of the forest*

Legolas: *smirks* You were saying?

New Voice: You know, last time we were here Merry and I almost got eaten by a tree.

*Legolas and Merida turn to see Pippin, Merry, Sam and Frodo*

Frodo: I remember. Thank God for Tom Bombadil, or we would have never made it to Bree!

Sam: Yes, thank the Lord for Mr. Bombadil, indeed! I doubt we would have gotten past that one tree, much less escaping the Barrow Wights!

Merida: *whispers to Legolas* Who're they?

Legolas: *whispers back* Some friends. *turns to the four hobbits* Suilad, mellyn nin! What are you doing in The Old Forest?

Pippin: *shrugs* We were just written in here.

Frodo: But we will probably disappear any second now.

*The four hobbits disappear eight seconds later*

Merida: I know that was just yer friend writtin' them outa the story, but that is still a wee bit freaky!

Legolas: Agreed.

~Back at the Stands*

Me: *is doing a latch hook (when it's finished it will be a golden retriever puppy), texting a friend, watching Doctor Who, talking with Darth Vader and The Doctor- and Rose- is humming Misty Mountains Cold to herself and is watching the progress of Legolas and Merida- as well as listening to their conversation*

Darth Vader: Wow, talk about multi-tasking.

Doctor: Oh, which episode are you watching?

Me: The one with you (as Ten, of course), Rose, Sarah Jane Smith, K-9 and those creepy teachers that look like dinosaur bats.

Doctor: You mean the Krillitanes?

Me: *nods* Yeah, that's it! I'm really glad you were able to fix/remodel K-9. He's a good dog.

Doctor: *imitating K-9* Affirmative.

Me: *laughs*

~Back to Legolas and Merida~

*Several Wargs are leaping seemingly out of nowhere. Legolas and Merida shoot them down one by one until they stop coming. They stopped at a good time, too, for each had run out of arrows. They pulled several arrows out of the dead corpses of the wargs. Eight of the arrows were Legolas', and seven were Merida's. Soon after they made their way forward once again*

Merida: This forest gives me the creeps.

Legolas: At least it's not as creepy as mothers that turn into bears.

Merida: That only happened once in my world, and because I had no sense whatsoever. I'm never messing with witches again! Not only because of what happened, but because my family and I are now Christians. You know what the Bible says: Suffer not a witch to live.

Legolas: It is a good thing Galadriel is no witch, then. Some think she is.

Merida: I heard about that. Some even think the elves possess magic.

Legolas: The Elves of Middle-Earth never have and never will use magic.

Rumpelstiltskin: Which is probably a good idea, dearie. All magic comes with a price. *disappears*

*Legolas and Merida, slightly creeped out by Rumpel's appearance, hurry forward. They stop when they are ambushed by orcs. Legolas manages to shoot five of them, and Merida shoots the same amount. Then they continue forward and finally reach the edge of the forest. They are about to exit the haunting/dreadful place when six HUGE bears blocked their path! Legolas fired three arrows and each one hit its target: the bears' head. Merida also fired three at the same time. Two hit their targets and one missed. She fired a fourth, which hit its target*

Legolas: That was much easier than I had expected.

Merida: *nods* Aye.

*The two rush out of the forest and are startled when there is loud applause. They look forward to see that they were where they had started!*

Daffy Duck: And here they are! Neither of them died!

Bugs Bunny: And they seem completely unharmed, too.

Daffy Duck: And the winner is...

Bugs Bunny: Legolas of Mirkwood!

*The crowd applauds and everyone that personally knows Legolas (well, the crazy insane ones) cheer as loud as they can*

Merida: *in disbelief* What!?

Daffy Duck: That's right, folks! Legolas Greenleaf exits the forest with a total of eight wargs, five orcs, and three bears!

Bugs Bunny: While Merida exits the forest with seven wargs, five orcs, and three bears!

Daffy Duck: Giving Legolas sixteen points in all!

Bugs Bunny: And giving Merida fifteen points in all!

Merida: Well, this is the first time I've ever lost in an archery competition. *bows to Legolas* You are a worthy component, Prince Legolas.

Legolas: As are you, Miss Merida. Never before have I met anyone else with such skill: next to Katniss and Susan.

Merida: Yeah, they're pretty good too.

Legolas: Until next time.

Merida: Until next time.

~Later~

*Many have left the stands and are, well, all over the place, really. The Prancing Pony was too small to fit everyone, so The Doctor stole another T.A.R.D.I.S and had this one disguised as a Middle-Earth Inn. This one was called The Infinite Inn. Nice ring, eh? Anyways, this was the only inn you could find in- get this- Fangorn Forest. But it was growing more and more popular, as you didn't need a reservation or worry about there not being enough room. And the owner of the building...*

Darth Vader: Who is the owner of the building? I do not believe you have told me.

Me: No, I haven't. Wanna know who it is?

Darth Vader: Sure.

I: WHO IS IT????!!!! TELL ME!!! TEEEEEEELLLLLLL MMMMMMEEEEEEEE NNNNNOOOOOWWWWW!!!!

Me: She has been very crazy lately.

Darth Vader: And this surprises you?

Me: Eh.

*And the owner of the building was none other than a friendly Silence, whom everyone called Who. For what reasons, no one ever knows, as no one can ever remember who the Innkeeper even is!*

Darth Vader: Hmm, I wonder why.

Me: Yeah, totally! *sarcastic*

Darth Vader: No, I'm serious, who?

Me: Oh, right. Only I can remember when I've seen a Silence. Well, the Me me, not the GodismyDD me.

GodismyDD: Yeah... wait a minute, who was I just writing about?

Me: Who.

GodismyDD: Yeah, who? I was writing about who?

Me: Yes, you were.

GodismyDD: What?

Me: No, who.

GodismyDD: I asked first! Now stop playing games, Me!

Me: I'm not. Who is who you were writing about!

GodismyDD: I don't know who the who I was writing about was!

Me: *face palm* Forget it.

GodismyDD: I already have forgotten it. Ugh! You're being so weird!

*Anyways, what- or who- was I talking about? Uh...*