Hello, minna. As you can tell by the title already, this might be a heartbreaker.

First of all, thank you to everyone for reading my fan fiction. It was an ambitious project, but we finished it. Congratulations to everyone who have made it to the very end! Although there were still ideas of side stories I wanted to write and the ending did not end how I originally intended, I am still content that it left on a good note. Now that the story is finished... I am leaving Wattpad.

Okay, I know I said I'm "leaving" Wattpad, but that statement was slightly exaggerated just to be more dramatic. I'm just gonna take a long, extensive break, rarely show up, and not write any new stories.

I've been thinking a lot about it for a long time, and although I've talked about starting new projects or continuing unfinished ones... I don't think I have it in me anymore.

When I started writing My Assassin Boy, I was a junior in high school with time on her hands and a head full of fantasies and imagination. I simply entertained the idea of what it would be like if Killua had a normal girlfriend with no fighting background and posted the first couple of chapters for fun. I never would've imagined the wonderful feedback I received. Honestly, if it weren't for you guys, I probably would have stopped at around 14 chapters. But it was just so much fun writing this story and seeing how everyone was enjoying it. I didn't just see readers of my book, but fellow weebs gushing over an anime we all love.

At some point, I lost my drive to keep going. I had my fun and considered dropping the fanfic to start the next new idea, but I could no longer do that. I had a much larger audience than I anticipated, far too many to disappoint. I've been on that other end where I would read an incredible fan fiction only to find out that the author disappeared and left it unfinished for the past three years. I understood that feeling of desertion and non closure, and so I pushed through to make sure everyone got the happy ending they deserved.

Of course, my life got busier with school and part time jobs, finding it harder to have the time and energy to write. Sometimes I questioned myself if it was still worth it. Why spend my time writing on a teenage fanfic when I could write short stories for my school or start my manuscripts for the future? It's because I have an audience right here, right now. If I abandon them now, what kind of author would I be in the future? I convinced myself that if I don't finish this story, I'm never going to finish anything.

And then life hit me hard. In my first semester of nursing school, I failed a class and was held back. I saw everyone else around me achieving their goals and moving forward in life while I remained behind. I felt pathetic and alone. One day, I tried to seek professional council, but I was too afraid to walk through that door, too afraid to admit defeat, so I simply sat outside, crying by myself. There were many better approaches I could've chosen, and I had the support system to confide to. I have never felt so stressed in my life. Never have I cried so much in my life.

Eventually, I pulled myself together and somehow made it through by just the skin of my teeth. I'm still fighting and am blessed by God that I can still pursue my dream. Well... one of them.

Since then, I learned to prioritize my time, so the gaps between chapter updates grew increasingly wider. It always breaks my heart seeing you guys wonder when the next chapter will be uploaded, or that I don't fulfill my promise on uploading on my own deadline, but I had to be a nurse first before a writer. No matter how many times I apologize, it wouldn't change a thing. I feared that the promises I make and break, the more faith in me I lose from my readers. It was tough, fighting the writer in me so that I wouldn't get distracted and lose focus from my studies.

After not fulfilling my New Years resolution of finishing MAB twice in a row, I made the hard decision to end the story early. And now that the story is over, there will not be a sequel or any new content from me. Not any time soon. After five years, I need to take a break for two reasons.

The first one is because, obviously, I have a life. I need to focus more on my education, and with the circumstances of the world, I also need to help my family in any way I can as well. I've recently applied for a summer job, so hopefully that will go well before I return to my tutoring job at my campus.

The second reason is... I can't write anymore. Not in the sense that I can't because of responsibilities preventing me to make time for it. What I mean is that it has been a long time since I've written something original. I also don't feel like I've been improving on my creative writing when it comes to submitting pieces to my school's magazine, WHICH I ALSO WORK FOR. I'm not sure if it's because the members don't like it or they don't want to be bias, but they are English majors so their judgement is probably more valid than mine. What's the whole point of mentioning this? I'm saying that I think I lost my muster and need some time to reconnect with my old self as a writer.

The author who started this fanfic and wrote it for fun died. The author who's writing this now is just someone who was simply struggling and rushing to get her story told and finished to satisfy the mass.

Don't feel bad, though. Yes, you all have motivated me to keep writing, but I didn't continue this book only to please my readers. Maybe deep down, I didn't realize it, but, I was also doing it for myself, for it was this fanfic that kept me as a writer. Throughout college, this was the only thing that I've written that has made success. The only thing that I can cling on to still call myself a writer. And now that it's over... there's nothing left.

So yeah, this author is all tired, so I'm going to rest now. I won't be updating anything new, but I'll still check in on Wattpad from time to time to answer any questions. If you guys are interested, I'll post a chapter on what the whole writing experience was like, such as what inspired the story, what ideas never made it into the final version, my own personal thoughts about characters and plot elements, etc.

If I do gain the strength to write another fan fiction or continue an unfinished one, I would finish the whole thing first before posting one finished chapter at a time so that I wouldn't have inconsistent gaps again. So don't expect anything new for a long time.

That's all I have to say. I hope you are all doing well and are in good health. I cannot express enough how amazing you guys are. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to share my story, and thank you for reading. You guys are truly awesome.

Trouble out.