Hi, minna! I wasn't planning on posting a new chapter this soon until next week, but decided to make this a 5k special. Yay! Thank you guys so much. Since I'm gonna be so busy when I get back to school, I'd might as well post a chapter for the road. I plan on continuing posting new chapters in the new year. This chapter is dedicated to @Zakuroshi. Thanks for reading and the encouraging comment. You guys can leave comments to to let me know what y'all think. I hope you guys like it... And won't feel too uncomfortable (don't forget this book is rated T. You've been warned). Remember to stay awesome!

P.S. Let me know how the music works!

I walked all the way from the park by myself, with only the street lights guiding me back home. My feet were starting to cramp up from running and walking for so long. When I finally made it to my doorstep, I knew what I was going to get myself into.

I checked the doorknob, and with luck, it was unlocked. When I walked inside, the first thing I saw was mom sitting at the kitchen table, with her arms crossed and her brows furrowed.

"Where have you been, young lady?" She asked with a firm tone.

"Nowhere," I frankly put out, walking straight to my room. I gave her a look that said I didn't want to talk. I wasn't in the mood for another argument.

She pushed her seat back as she took up. "We're not through yet, Yuki!"

"Well I am!" I snapped back. "And it doesn't even matter anymore. Killua's gone." I raced up the steps, slammed the door behind me and fell into my bed, hugging my pillow against my face as I sobbed. I drained out my tears for hours until I fell asleep.

***

It has been three days since that night Killua left, and it wasn't just Killua. Gon and Alluka suddenly disappeared as well. Alluka hasn't shown up at school for the passed few days, and Lizz was missing her Nen teacher. Every time Lizz and I tried texting them, replies never came. We eventually gave up hope. Lizz must be devastated that Gon left so suddenly without a word, but she knew that I was feeling much more worse.

I managed to recover from my fit, my eyes no longer swollen. Mom and I have been quiet recently, but she understood that I wasn't seeing Killua anymore and how much that impacted me, so she decided to give me some space. Rin still acted normal around me, but haven't brought up any concerning questions yet about Killua. He's probably too afraid to trigger something with me, but honestly, I just didn't have the energy to blow up.

Every day, I go to school, work on my studies, then go back home, and repeat the same cycle, just as how my life was before I met Killua. Was this really happening? Am I just going to keep acting like Killua never existed? Did Killua and I really break up, after everything we've been through in the short amount of time we had together? Although there were trials, those days were the most extraordinary, fun, and most wonderful moments of my life. Killua made that happen, and now he was gone.

Even though I'm living every day normally now, it was still not the same. Something was missing in my life. There was an empty hole in my heart.

Every day I walked out of the house, wearing a mask of melancholy. All of my friends asked me what was the matter, but I always shrugged them off without a straight answer. How could I tell them about Killua and his connection to my father's death? How could they understand anything about how I feel?

"Hey, Yuki!" I was pulled back to my senses when I turned around to the call. Kaito was pacing down the hallway waving at me. "Hey, I called you like three times already."

"Oh, you did? I'm sorry," I monotonously apologized.

He handed me a sheet of paper. "You forgot to pick this up from the desk," he said.

"Oh yeah, the homework. Thanks," I said as I received my forgotten homework. It would've sucked to make up for it after the weekend.

Kaito didn't leave right away. He looked into my eyes curiously. "Hey, are you all right? You haven't been acting yourself lately."

"Really? How so?" I knew exactly why. I didn't really put much effort into hiding it, but I still asked just out of obligation.

"Well, you don't laugh or smile anymore. In fact, you've been really quiet and kept your head down. Did something happen?" I looked down, hesitant to answer. It was just that I didn't know how to answer him. "It's all right. It's none of my business. You don't have to tell me if you don't-"

"My boyfriend and I are taking some time off," I said. Why did I reply, and with an honest one too? I guess it was because Kaito was the only person I knew who had a break up recently, so he would be able to understand.

"Your boyfriend? Oh, right! That new upper classman, um... Killua, right?" I nodded. Just hearing his name pulled my heart strings. "His sister was also in our class. She's been absent this week. Did they move away or something?"

There were too many students around us. I didn't want to risk anyone to hear our conversation and start spreading rumors. I gestured Kaito to follow me somewhere else. We found a good spot at the western courtyard of the school, sitting on a bench that had a view of the soccer field. There were no clubs going on, so everybody left for home.

After I finished telling Kaito what happened to Killua, leaving out the important details of why, Kaito was heavily concerned. "You mean he just left without telling you?" He said in disbelief. "Man what a jerk!" He slammed his fists down on his lap.

"Yeah, I know. I can understand a little of why he left, but I don't know why would he." I slouched over and put my face in my hands in hopelessness. "I'm not even sure if he'll ever come back."

Kaito sighed. "Well, even though what he did was a pretty inconsiderate move, I don't think I would call it a break up."

I turned to him confused. "What do you mean?"

Kaito scratched the back of his head as he thought about it. "Well, he didn't really say he wanted to break up, did he?"

"No."

"Well, a lot of guys can think of the most insensitive ways to break up with their girlfriends. They send text messages, voice mails, even have their own friends to do it for them. Most methods are basically indirect. But us guys are pretty straight forward and speak what we mean, unlike for you and your girl codes."

"Just skip to the point," I interrupted with irritation.

"What I'm saying is, if a guy didn't say he broke up with you, then he didn't break up with you."

"Huh. Kind of like if a person didn't say no, then they didn't say no?" I asked, trying to follow what he was saying.

"Yeah... something like that. I don't know what caused you and Killua to fight, but if Killua's trying to distance himself from you without talking to you, it just means he needs his time to think and cool off."

"Oh, okay." Killua and I didn't exactly fight. In fact, I had no idea what that was the other night. However, I remember Killua telling me before how a guy needs his space sometimes to think things over, so maybe I should give him some time. Maybe I should spend some time thinking as well. "Sorry to have you worried about me, Kaito."

"Hey, don't worry about it," he said, placing his hand on my shoulder for comfort. "You're my friend, and I'll never stop caring about my friends." He then let go of my shoulder, leaving an warm feeling on the spot he once touched. I felt really weird about talking to the guy I used to like, seeking relationship advice about the guy I like now. It was still nice to talk to someone I could relate to, and their words of wisdom out of experience helping me out.

"Thanks, Kaito," I smiled, for what felt like the first time. "You know, for a guy, you sure know how to think like a girl."

Kaito's cheeks tinted pink from embarrassment. "Well, I... it takes experience of a relationship with one to know one."

"Right. It's too bad. I can't imagine why Umi would break up with you."

"Huh? Umi didn't break up with me. I broke up with her."

"Huh? Why?" I asked surprised. When I saw him a month ago after his break up, he looked so devastated that I thought it was her who broke his heart.

"It just wasn't the right timing," he replied honestly while rubbing the back of his neck. "My grades were low, I had practice for two different teams, I just couldn't balance it all out. Umi understood, but I still had to end until when things were working out all right."

"Awe, that's so sad," I said sympathetically. I never thought of a break up for that kind of reason before. I always thought all you needed to stay happy was to always have someone special with you.

"Some people just have their own dilemmas. It's never the other person's fault."

"Some people... have their own dilemmas..." I thought about that to myself. I got up and started walking away, waving him bye. "Thanks for the helpful advice you gave me. I'll remember it." He waved back with his sincere smile as he remained with the bench.

I was glad that I got to talk to Kaito, and that I wasn't chasing after him anymore. Because if I did, then he would have never given me that push I needed to motivate me to holding my relationship with Killua together.

***

It was late at night, probably around nine. I was at my work desk in my room, just finishing the last few problems of my math homework until my thoughts were interrupted by a tapping noise. I turned to my window. Even though it was dark outside, I could see a shadowy silhouette on the other side of the glass. Could it be?

I walked toward the window and unlocked it. When I pulled it up all the way, the person and I met face to face. "Killua!" I exclaimed. I was actually surprised that it was really him. He was holding on to the top of the window sill from outside, then he swiftly swung his way inside my room. Without a word, he paced to my desk and turned off my lamp, leaving the room to only rely on moonlight. He turned around and walked a few paces toward me with his head down.

I haven't seen this jerk in days and this was how he was going to act around me? "Where have you been?" I asked. "Do you have any idea how long you've been gone?" He was still silent, which boiled me mad. "Say something!"

He shoved his hand in his pocket, then pulled out a folded piece of paper, handing it to me. When I picked it up from his hand, there were dried blood stains on the edges. I found it very unsettling and insanitary. When I unraveled it, I squinted at the photo, then gasped. This was a printed image of my family eight years ago. There was my mom and dad smiling together, holding my short-haired self and toddler Rin in their arms.

My hands trembled as I held this. "W-where did you get this?" I asked with a shaky voice.

Killua's eyes remained hidden underneath his bangs. "It was eight years ago, while I was still in my assassin training. An assassin doesn't start accepting jobs until they turn ten, but my brother Illumi decided that I should tag along with him during his job for once. Since I was almost turning ten, he thought I should get a good experience on what the field should look like.

We were standing at the top of the Marble Complex building at ten o'clock at night.

'They should be done with their meeting by now,' Illumi said.

'Aniki, are you sure I should be here?' I asked casually. "I'm not even ten yet."

'Don't worry, Kil. You'll just be watching. As long as you're with me, you'll be fine.'

At that moment, he took a step off the edge of the building, and I followed him. As we fell, he counted the number of floors we passed by, until finally, he hooked his hand on one of the windows, then swiftly kicked through the glass. As we entered, two men, along with four bodyguards in black suites were baffled. Illumi immediately killed the first two men who seemed the most important. The men in black started shooting at us with their guns, but we easily dodged their bullets. It wasn't long until everyone in the room was dead, or so we thought.

I heard whispering in the closet. 'Aniki, I think there's someone there,' I pointed.

Illumi casually walked to the closet. When he was standing right next to it, he jabbed his arm right the wooden door, then flung a man out of it. The man fell in the middle of the floor, his cell phone cracking in half.

'Oh, it appears I missed one.' Illumi said, looking down at the man like he was nothing. The man looked back at him with fear in his eyes, sweating nervously. At first I thought my brother was going to finish him off, but instead he turned around and started walking away. 'You can take this one, Kil.'"

I was holding the photo close to my chest as Killua told me his story. His hands were trembling balls of fists. "I did... something terrible... and I didn't even care..." Finally, I got a good look at his face when he lifted his eyes up, overflowing with tears. "I was the one who killed your father." [Press Play] At that moment, it all came crashing down on me now. The boy I fell in love with was the one who took my father away. The man of my family who made me happy. How could this have happened? How could life be so cruel?

Killua dropped down to his hands and knees, his head bowing. "I did it... With my own hands. Never in my life... have I ever felt such remorse... And such regret of killing somebody," Killua cried like I've never seen a boy cry before. Tears were dripping on my carpet floor. "The very first person I killed was the last person I would ever want to take away from you. Yuki... from the bottom of my heart, I am so sorry." His face rested on his arm as he wept some more.

I stood there and watched, trying to wrap my head around on how I should be feeling right now. I should be mad, right? Killua killed my father, so I should hate him for that. Not only that, but he broke his promise and left me, leaving me in my own sorrow alone. So why do I feel like throwing my arms over him and crying myself? Was it because I was sad about my father being dead, now clearly knowing how he died, or was it sympathy? Sympathy to the person who regretted his sin.

It wasn't Killua's fault. He didn't know what he was doing was wrong. His family were evil, and the ones who raised him that way. Killua and Alluka... they were only victims of circumstances. If they were more exposed to kinder people back then, maybe things could've been different. If only they weren't born in the Zoldyck family, then maybe they could've lived normal lives. Wait, am I really okay with that? Killua and Alluka being normal? I love Killua just the way he is. I didn't care about all the bad things he had done in the past, or that he came from a family of assassins. When I fell in love with him, I fell in love with everything about him, and I accepted everything about him, whether I knew about it or not.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry..." Killua continued to sob. I bent down and cupped his face, lifting his gaze toward me.

"When my dad died, it left me with the saddest memory of my life." A few tears escaped from the corners of my eyes. "That's all it is now, a memory. You're here now, but when you left..." My throat began to throb, but I forced myself to keep speaking. "I-it broke my heart. It hurt me more than any pain I could remember." Killua's glossy eyes widened as water slowly dripped. I, on the other hand, couldn't hold back all of it. "You leaving me was the worst thing that has ever happened to me. I forgive you, Killua. Just please, don't leave me ever again!"

Killua bit his lip. He lunged at me, wrapping his arms around my neck, holding me tight. I moved my arms up to his back, embracing him as I cried deeply into his shoulder. "I love you," he uttered, as he shed more warm tears on my shirt. "I love you, Yuki."

"I love you too," I muffled in his shoulder.

It felt like it has been an hour, but we both finally managed to calm down. We sat next to each other on the floor against my bed, facing the window. Our tired eyes stared off beyond the opening, watching the full moon. We've been quiet for so long, it began to feel unsettling.

"So where have you been for the past three days?" I asked.

"I went back to my house to sneak in and grab that picture. Because I also had to take Alluka with me but couldn't leave her all by herself in the blimp, I asked Gon to watch over her while I was gone."

"You traveled all the way back to your house?" I asked surprised. I never thought Killua would ever go back to the place he dreaded which drove him away.

"Yeah. It's in another country, which was why the trip took so long, and why we couldn't receive any of your calls or messages."

"B-but didn't you have to meet your family once you got there?!"

"Thank goodness I didn't. I snuck in and out of there without a single notice. I'm not looking forward to a warm family reunion yet."

"I see..." Remembering the way how he reacted to seeing Kalluto and Illumi, they didn't seem that close. I looked down at the photo I still held in my hands. It looked so familiar. Maybe we have a similar copy in our photo albums. "I'm surprised you kept this for so long."

"It came from your dad's jacket. I kept it as a momentum of my first kill. How sick am I?" He placed his hand on his forehead in disgust at himself.

"Killua..." I had no idea how I was supposed to cheer him up from that. He was beating himself up with his own guilt.

"I thought it would be right if I returned that to you." He looked down at the photo. "I was wondering why your mom looked so familiar. Hmph, and you look really cute with short hair."

"Shut up," I blushed as I shoved his shoulder with mine. "I didn't like my short hair one bit when I was little. It really showed how chubby I was back then."

Killua's hand then intertwined with mine. "You're not chubby now, so I bet you would look beautiful either way with short hair now." When he said that, I smiled and leaned forward to peck him on the lips. I was a little surprised. It became a natural habit of mine to give him a small kiss every time he gave me a compliment.

When I pulled back, he gave me another peck, and I kissed him back. Eventually, we began making out, our lips connected together, moving in sink. We haven't been together in so long, I missed him. I missed his touch, and I missed his scent.

Killua cupped his hand on my cheek, and I smoothly moved my hands to the back of his neck. We both finally broke apart to catch our breaths. Killua was blushing furiously, and I was feeling hot. Killua smirked as he wrapped his hands below my back, then hauled me up to my bed. I yelped in delight when dropped me. He crawled over me, his hands still on my back, now rubbing underneath my shirt. It sent chills to my spine with his rough hands touching my bare skin. "Yuki," he whispered as he kissed the edges of my mouth, down to my jaw, then down to my neck. I played with his hair as he planted soft kisses on my neck.

Somehow, I found myself pulling his white T-shirt off. His pants were on the floor, leaving him only in his light blue boxers. I didn't even realized that my own pants were gone, leaving me with my panties and shirt on. I didn't think about it when I became distracted by his bold six pack. I traced my hands up and down his abs, feeling his firm muscles. He tensed from my smooth strokes. He leaned down to kiss me more, our lips moving passionately. He pulled away, heaving heavily, his breaths brushing against my face. I was heaving hard too as I gazed into his allured eyes. Suddenly, his eyes became  troubled and sad. He looked away, then sat at the edge of my bed.

"What's wrong?" I asked concerned as I propped myself up. It was getting so good. Why did he stop?

"I'm sorry," he said. "It's not you. I really want to keep going, but not right now. I can't." He then hid his face in his hands.

"Oh..." I then realized what could've happened if we kept on going. Killua made it the right call to stop. "Oh my gosh..." I hid my face in my knees ashamed. How could I be so stupid and weak to let such desires take control over me?

"It was my fault. I shouldn't have kissed you back." When I looked up to take a peak, he was looking back at me, leaning his head on one knee. The moonlight made his skin glow, and his silver hair shine. My, did he look gorgeous.

I straightened my knees and shook my head. "No, I shouldn't have kept on kissing you." Walking by my knees, I moved my way toward him and draped my arms around his neck, hugging him on his bare back. Killua acceptedly held on to one of my arms.

"I promise," he started. "To never ever leave you again. Whenever you need me, I'll be there." I smiled and rested my head on his back shoulder, for this brought great comfort to me.

"Then, do you mind... staying here with me, just for tonight?" I asked. Even though we didn't go all the way, thankfully, I still wanted to feel his presence. I wanted to fall asleep with him close to me.

"Okay," he replied. We both laid back down on the bed, sharing one pillow. Killua pulled the covers over us. We stared at each other's eyes.

"Good night," I said, then closed my eyes.

"Sweet dreams," he whispered, then I was able to sleep happily again.

To be continued...