This is something that actually happened. We were having enrichment- which is random lessons- and we were doing poetry. We had to make 2 rhyming couplets, two lines where the last words rhyme, about chocolate. Really dumb. After we did it, the teacher wanted some of us to preform them. No one wanted to do it. Bring the stupid dumb ass that I am, I offered to do it 1st. Suddenly, an enormous crowd of volenteers followed me. The teacher was proud of me for going 1st because of everyone following me. Immediately after standing in front of the mic, my body froze up, only being able to shake. Everyone was staring at me. I had never had stage fright before, which really meant something. I had done so many dancing and singing performances for larger crowds of adults, but, I was never scared before. Maybe it's cause I couldn't see them from the lighting or maybe it was because they were adults. I'm not sure. Anyway, the teacher asked me to start. I was so cold that I wasn't even sweating from the fear. All eyes were on me. Several times this one girl I knew from primary called out "Go ****!" (The stars represent my name) before laughing with a cruel tone. As I begin to read, only a desperate whimper cane out. I was speaking, but making no noise. It was like that one line from 'the sound of silence'. "People talking without speaking. People hearing without listening. People writing songs that voices never share." I wrote the lines, I had practiced and felt happy. But, that changed in a second. The teacher noticed and read out the lines after I had finished. Once he was done, I sat down asap. As soon as I sat down, I covered and lowered my face so people didn't see me cry. I didn't cry during the presentation, but after. I was too scared to cry during it, I guess. Several people asked if I was ok, but I refused to answer cause I didn't want them to know I was crying. After every presentation, I clapped, but never dared to raise my head. Eventually, the lesson was over. As I waited, people kept reassuring me, saying how I was braver than most for actually going up. The front row was sent first; and I was on the second row. My friend who was on the front row, waited until my row was dismissed. He walked with me, telling me the same thing. Auditions for a play were going on and we both wanted to try out, so we both went there. That's when the day went from bad to good. I had fun while we waited as we practiced the lines. He did a random German accent and I did some stupid voice. After the auditions, he left before me and didn't wait, which I didn't mind. It was raining lightly, which made me happier. During the audition, we had to sing; cause it's a musical. I sung 'radioactive' by Imagine Dragons. It's the only not depressing or negative sing that I know the words to. I thought that I should have sung 'Crybaby' by Melanie Martinez. As I sung it, I remembered it had swearing, which is banned in our school. As soon as I got home, I went to my room and cried. I hated myself. I considered the possibility of my singing being bad. My entire life, I had loved singing, and if I was bad at it, my entire life was pointless. I wanted nothing more than to die. I might as well call this story "The drawings of a suicidal screwball." All I can think in life is that nothing matters. We're going to die and be forgotten, not meaning a thing to this world or its inhabitants. For anyone who actually reads this, I doubt anyone does, don't stab your hand with a sharpened pencil and repeatedly twist it. It hurts and causes scabs. Anyway, have a great day, unlike me, person who probably doesn't care about me or didn't even read up to here.