i went to the cheesecake factory with my friend molly and we went to look at cheesecakes and she said "im cold" and i gave her my flannel and if that aint the gayest thing then-

also we took this pic

icons

next next day:

so i drew this lil comic

sorry i felt i had to share this experience with you and this was literally the best format i could think of

bitch i just remembered we have canned chicken-less noodle soup in the pantry skEET SKEET SKEET

wow that soup was fucking great i love that soup its got tofu in it mMM good shiT

what a good meal

next day:

dad: emerson, you can ask us for stuff you know. 

me: lol okay i need a violin since i havent had one since summer began :)

dad: okay. i'll get it for you. whatever you want

like a day later:

dad: can you come to the groccery store with me?

me, not showered and having some issuES with the same stuff that sent me to the hospital that one time (im good dont worry but still): uhhh no?

dad: really? i bought you a violin emerson

me, internally: haha its almost as if you bought that violin because i had just told you that depression is taking over my fucking life and considering your ex wife who you were with for over 10 years has depression, you should know very well that irrational guilt is a prominent symptom so i suggest not guilt tripping me and giving me more of a reason to want to leap off a fucking cliff :)

by the way yES i told him the other day

i was gonna tell my mom but lol guess not

he found out about my F in biology and was like "why are you failing biology?"

and so i told him i lack motivation because lack of motivation is one of my major symptoms but i was just tryna drop hints ya feel?

so that didnt work and he just guilted me and made me feel even worse so i was just like fuck it and told him "yo man the main reason im failing biology is because my mental health is quickly deteriorating"

i didnt tell him "im depressed" bc that scared me too much so i just listed off my symptoms and i think he gets it

he told me something along the lines of "motivation comes from within" even though my depressed ass is too deprESSED to pull motivation from within so idk man

like i wish i could just magically pull motivation and will to live out of nowhere but im too busy laying in bed crying and craving death lmao

this chapter took a really dark turn yeezus

sorry lol

also idk if i told ya'll this but chloe and i broke up

twas for the best

im a fuckload less stressed now

idk being in a relationship stresses me out man

its weird not feeling guilty like im cheating for playin mystic messenger tho lol

im really into mystic messenger now-

ive already spent like five bucks on hourglasses help me

yoosung is so great guys can we-

i went the yoosung route and i love him so much skdfkdfjksd aahh

next day:

i had a dream last night that my mom and i walked our dog maggie and our old dog (that we no longer have) lexie

and i woke up like "wtf miss me with that boring ass dream"

then i realized i dreamt it because thats my brain trying to compensate for the fact that i havent seen my mom in weeks and i miss my dog a lot

like wow

thats pretty pathetic brain im glad thiS is the dream you give me instead of something like fuN

after school n stuff:

mY MOM SHOWED UP AT MY DAD'S HOUSE AKFKDHFSK I MISSED HER SO MUCH GUYS-

im staying at her house for the week and ya bitch is moving on thursday to a new house

next day:

i neglected to realize "moving on thursday" is tomorrOW ITS WEDNESDAY IM MOVING TOMORROW LMAO

me: ok we need to clean our room because the movers are literally coming tomorrow

me @ me: okay but... how about we slack off

me:

update: i started cleaning my room and-

three days later oofity:

wow moving was fun totally didnt cry in class like 8 times out of stress hahA

also?? i found an unused $50 amazon gift card while cleaning so?? win?? lol clean your rooms there are some treasures to behold

i found this red white and blue metal brief case thing and thought "oh isnt this the thing i filled with rocks and dirt back in massachusetts" and there was wholeass tiME CAPSULE IN THIS BITCH SKDKSDK

there were some stuffed toys, some books, and some composition notebooks from my childhood like thank you past emerson for this treasure i love it so much-

i filled up like 10 trashbags full of garbage from cleaning my room uwu

the movers called my mom over bc they found my pint of partially eaten ben and jerry's ice cream and i just prAYED when my mom told me this that they didnt smell the whiskey coming off it nor care about the shot glass that was alSO IN MY NIGHTSTAND

o yeah here's art

thanks i hate it