ya know no one ever told me that it would take a long time to improve at art

i always assumed some people were just born artists

i just wasnt one of them but i liked drawing so just kept at it and slowly started improving

and now i watch videos and people will tell beginner artists "dont worry if your art looks bad at first, no one starts off great. it takes time to improve" and im like great i wish i knew that when i first started jfc im surprised i even kept at art for this long

especially in the beginning because one of my biggest influences and pretty much the whole reason i started drawing was my best friend and she always discouraged me and made fun my art like lol

now i get praise from people i dont know and ive made friends through my art im cryin

why am i so sappy its only midnight

okay its now 1 am and im so horny omg

boi i want fuckin agust d to choke me and leave imprints on my throat from his rings and use me and tie me up

i need jesus

but still

i wanna sit on someone's faCE

especially jimin i wanna sit on jimin's face and i also wanna give yoongi the succ and i want namjoon to fucking choke me someone help

next day:

ayyee i went to bed at 2:30 am are ya proud??

i also only have three melatonin tablets left and i take four a night so-

next day:

SDKSKDSKDSK I HAD A TRAUMATIZING NIGHT OKAY-

so i was gonna chill in my closet and doodle and i found my nail polish finally so i decided to paint them in my closet because i like sitting in my closet its super spacious and nice

and i pulled out my phone, went through some notifications but then i saw something move in my peripheral vision

it was a fucking spider

let me paint a picture for you

so im basically fucking cornered by this spider and im blind without glasses and i dont know what to fucking do

so we sat there for like an agonizing two minutes before the motherfucker starts moving again anD I FUCKING LEAPT AND SPRINTED OUTTA THERE

now by the door inside my closet my dad has two baseball bats so i snatched one and squashed the bih against a wall

and now im sort of calming down so i look at my phone and update my instagram story so everyone knows im traumatized

and i look back at the wall and think

"wait where did the corpse go"

thE SPIDER WAS STILL FUCKING ALIVE

so i was looking for it, waving this baseball bat around when i saw this brown spider that blended in with my carpet which was weird because i thought the spider was black but like okay i mightve been seeing things bUT I FUCKING HESITATED TO KILL IT AND THEN

BLACK SPIDER REAPPEARS

THERES TWO SPIDERS

I JUST PERCHED PATHETICALLY ON A STOOL WAITING FOR THEM TO APPEAR

I FUCKING MURDERED THAT BLACK SPIDER BUT THE OTHER ONE DISAPPEARED AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE IT IS

AND IT BLENDS IN WITH MY CARPET I CANT FUCKING SOMEONE HELP ME

I JUST WANTED TO PAINT MY NAILS

I SLEPT WITH THE BASEBALL BAT NEXT TO MY BED

I RECORDED IT ALL ON INSTAGRAM JUST-

i think i once said id never show my face on wattpad but fuck you heres my face reveal i was terrified

and i grabbed my glasses after i escaped the closet

"carpet spiner"

that last one tho you shouldve seen me creeping around at night tryna find those damn nail clippers i felt like james bond

iconic

truly a legend

a meme queen

you ever just see a woman so beautiful-

ya'll i love erin she's so great im fuckin cryin

sorry i dont have any actual art and all i have is shitty doodles for this chapter sdksdks