Josiah...Yosiah...where the hell do I even begin?

Our relationship as friends was so unexpected...my love for you was there before I even had time to react to it. You were the greatest hello I ever had, Josiah...Not because we karaoked All of Me together, but because just of you altogether. You were always right there for me...from Six Flags, to concert nights...I'll never forgot when I had to hold your hand for Dona Nobis, the warmth I felt, even when Jake was standing just a few feet away. I tried fighting my feelings away, and I tried making myself believe I loved you as a brother..but I failed...because I began to realize that I loved you before I knew it.

And now? Now you are my hardest goodbye...I didn't realize how hard this was going to be until It came to saying that one word. You have to leave for college..you have to go four hours away...and seeing you after this may be impossible. I don't know how you feel about me...I don't know if you know how I feel about you, even. But you just saying 'I love you' while we were playing that game earlier tonight with your family, even if it was because I basically opened your gate to win the damn game....I melted.

Your quiet 'So' followed by more silence as you drove me home, and we were at the intersection leading to my house...followed by another 'So...' And a measly 'You're having trouble with math?' Had my heart pounding, even if I read into it wrong. I know you like Brooke...I know I can't possibly be her, Josiah.

But all of me, loves all of you.....

You have always been the one...