I tried so hard to convince myself that I liked Josiah as a brother. I tried so hard too. Josiah and I met when he was trying to sing All of Me by John Legend, and it turned into a duet when I helped him sing it. I...can't say I didn't feel sparks; but Jake was there, so my attention was basically on him.

Southern Star, our chorus trip. Jake ended up breaking our little promise and joined another group during our two days at Six Flags. Josiah, he joined mine. We were, I suppose, inseparable. But I didn't think too much of it. He was there for me the entire time Jake pushed me away; but someone said Jake was jealous, and I quietly reminded him that I thought of Josiah as a brother. He didn't seem to care. We were going to dinner with friends, and I decided to invite Josiah. Why? Because. If Jake was going to ignore me, I wanted someone to talk to. Josiah was that person.

Then our chorus concerts....Our patriotic one; Josiah and I made eye contact a few times while our director was talking. I didn't feel bad, but I definitely knew Jake was getting a little jealous about it; but I didn't care at this point. He wouldn't even hold onto my keychain in his pocket since I had a dress on. My friend Chris held it instead.

Then our Spring Concerts...Josiah took me to Subway. But the day before, we walked to him, and he looked up and said hey. Chris was behind me and he was quietly freaking out like 'Ohmygod the way he just looked at her.' Fangirling and all. Gay best friends amiright? But yeah. Hah. I played his guitar for an hour, and he listened. He lost his capo though, but I called my mom and had her bring mine for him to use for the concert.

Then last night we talked. At 11:30. It was short, because he lost his charger and killed his phone, but it was nice.

The whole time, I was falling for Josiah, but I was too busy seeing Jake to realize it, I guess. When I sang a song I wrote for Youth Band, I begged Jake to come; he blew it off, saying he had 'tons' of homework. Josiah wasn't there, but he was so upset that he missed it. It warmed my heart; at least Josiah would've been there to support me.

So I guess that's that.