Ok so first, my dad says I have to go to my brothers football game. Now understand, I uh, hate football with a burning passion, and I will probably just draw the entire time, or read my book, not caring or understanding anything about the game itself.

Another thing is-- They are forcing me to go to my moms. My dad told me I'm going whether I like it or not, and my mom said I was going whether I liked it or not.

But I've already prepared for this. You see, over there, I have my own room, right? I just won't leave. I'll only leave to go to the bathroom, and anyone who comes in my room, I'll kick them out. My step-mom said to give my mom a second chance-

My mom has had too many chances. Josh too. They are both horrible people with no care or remorse for anyone but themselves.

They think they are always right 100% of the time,

You can't argue with them because they see themselves at the top, whether they are actually right or wrong. and 99.9% of the time, is when they are wrong.

They argue about the stupidest crap. Several times they argued about who turned the air conditioning up, who put bed sheets on my brothers bed, and who got the groceries that month.

Yeah, they also literally just buy like, food at the store that both they, and my brother like.

My mom is so oblivious to everything, I question how she passed grade 1. And I asked her how to fix my computer because apparently she knows as much about computers as I do, and you wanna know what she told me to do-- she told me to Google it.

And you wanna know the worst thing about her..? After she has an argument with someone, or after she gets mad or something upsets her, and everyone around her... She acts like everything's fine. She acts as if nothing ever happened.

She'll make empty threats towards me and my brother.. She doesn't want to deal with problems. She wont listen to anyone. She won't listen to me, she won't listen to my dad, she won't listen to a judge or jury, and she won't listen to my councilor. The one person thats job is to help me, and my family.

She only sees herself, and no one else. She doesn't give me recognition, while she praises  my younger brother for everything.

All I get is a, good job, or, whenever I have an event I'm participating in, I'll look at her, and she'll be on her phone. Every. Single. Time.. And if she's not on her phone the whole time, then she won't even be there.

And it's sad that I've never heard my mom say the words, 'I'm sorry.'. My councilor asked me this question two meetings ago, and in that moment, I realized she has never said the words I'm Sorry to me, ever, unless she was being sarcastic.

Going over there is like a punishment. They are forcing me to do something I don't want to do. I can't deal with either of them. Both my dad and my mom.. My dad is sufficiently better than her, but I just can't deal with them..

But I'm too scared to say anything because they'll be mad at me.. I can't show my true sexuality, I can't tell them my problems. I can't tell them what I want to do, and where I want to go, they'll just trap me here, make me stay, keep me in their line of sight for the rest of my life--

I am not fine.

I will never be okay while I'm here.