I'm going out of order here but. ehhh whatever

This was. A vent thing (idk if it was??? Feel like it was) back in December, and i just had a huge mood drop so here I am

There is a vent below with some, sensitive topics, so please just. Read it, or don't. It helped me dump out all of the negative things I felt during the moment, so...yea

Last call, if you don't want to read the vent ahead, just skip it
Writing this vent out helped in a rather odd...way, it kinda helped , and it kinda goes with the art too
Idk mydudes I'm just gonna sleep

Mood drops are the absolute worst. Happening unexpectedly, you're left wondering why you're feeling so poorly in the middle of a interstellar dance room. You're left with the thoughts that have broken free from the tiny chamber you have crammed them into, and now they're spilling out everywhere; oozing onto the carpet, flying around with filthy, dust-covered wings, the dust sprinkling through out your brain, such as snowflakes would. The dust float to the very core, stinging, and leaving a harsh imprint on both your mind and heart. You try to flutter your eyelids, you try to look up at the ceiling to keep the waterfalls of tears from spilling out too; sometimes, it works. But most times, it doesn't.
All of the words and sentences that are now scattered freely amongst your mind begin to hurt. You begin to believe them; you know that you really are ugly. You believe that you really are untalented. You believe that you're nothing but a burden to a home that chains you with lies and bigotry, and drags you into the deepest depths of the hell that you are forced to call home.
You believe that it's all your fault.
You agreed to the little game. You agreed, even though the silent screaming and disgusting actions that made your legs numbed out and weary begged you to think otherwise. You agreed, the  So promised treats given, and all games, silent .
You believe that it's all your fault.
The thoughts have convinced you.
the thoughts consume you. They wrap their prickly, inky arms around you and pull you in, and you can't help but stay within that toxic embrace, because the brighter side seems too much of a risk to reach to. The icy porcelain of the bathtub harshly stings at my body, as I sit there, letting my eyes gaze upon the depths of my mind and my intergalactic thoughts that begin to flicker and poof away.

One arm has scars.

The other holds the bottle.

Shaking it a little, capsules that relieve the pain crash and scuttle against each other, letting hard clinks echo heavily through out your mind and asking you once more

'Are you sure about this?'

'This is your last chance.'

What a sad thing to find the smallest light of hope through. I cross my legs, and sit up, my hand trembling wildly as I set down the bottle. I let the salty dew run down my face, as I am lost once again; thoughts screaming inside of me as I reach over once again.
But I pause.
Do I really want to.

I dig my nails into my arm, letting words flow freely out of my mouth.

Words that would provoke a shock through my weakened body.

Sentences that would fill my eyes to the brim with tears.

I shut my eyes, clenching harder and continuing to try and get any emotion out of me, pushing all of the buttons and praying that one

Just one, would work.

But all I can feel is myself floating in the internal, galactic abyss. My body numb, and my soul wandering aimlessly, trying to find the track it was once set on.

Goodnight