I let it slip
I was scared
And I said it
You looked at me
With such

Disgust

You yelled
And screamed

"Are you trying to make me feel guilty?"

No

"Your saying this is my fault?"

No

"When did I ever say I would give you away?"

I was scared

Scared that she would keep yelling

So i told her

"You told me that you would send me on a bus

You told me you would send me away to my dad"

The one who left me in the first place

The one who didn't want me

The one who gave me to you

"When did I say that?"
She yelled

"When I was 6"
I answered

"So because i said some
thing years ago
You want to make me feel quilty?"

No

"Is that what you want
Me to feel guilty?"

No

"I apologized didn't I?"

Yes

"Then tell me why you are crying!"

So I told her

"Its not the fact that you said it years ago and apologized, it's the fact that you had been thinking about it
You said it once
But I don't know how many other times you had been thinking about it
And you just didn't say anything
I dont know what your thinking
I dont know when you will get mad
I dont know what will happen when I come home

And I'm scared!"

And so

I let it slip

That I was terrified

Of what she thought

Of how close I could be to losing

The only person who would take care of me

The only person who accepted me into their home

The only person, who I ever thought loved me.