I was dependent
I used every wish I had
Every shooting star
Every 11:11
Was spent thinking of you
Wishing for you to respond
So I could hear your voice
Just one more.

I was dependent
I missed your words of kindness
Our long night spending hours
Just waiting for one of us to fall asleep
I reread our texts
I went back through every conversation
From when we had first messaged
To when you confessed
And finally where you left

I was dependent
Every daisy I saw
Was plucked
Chanting the words
'Loves me... loves me not'
If fate had it that it didn't land in what I so desired
I would pick another and try again
I refused to believe that it was over.
But in the back of my mind there was a voice
Quietly uttering
'Its over... and you know it'
I turned away from that knowledgeable siren
Closed my eyes and shook my head
Not letting my self hear it again,
I somehow convinced myself
That you still
Loved me

I was dependant
when it happened,
I was frozen
I knew it was coming
I knew it was going to happen
I knew it would never have worked,
But yet it hurt
It hurt so very bad
And as it sunk in
The weight of those months
Waiting for you
Wanting for you
It had all sunk in.

But I became so dependent
on your every word
On each 'I need you'
I led myself on
And I know it
This dependency
Was unhealthy
And maybe
Just maybe

This time would be different