Italics- thoughts/ flashbacks/ dreams

Bold- author talking

Underline- narrator talking, known as the main character

Normal- normal story

2016 words

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He left to do his thing and didn't want me to be sad so he didn't take me with.

I call bullshit. He probably wanted to have peace from my annoying self. I want peace from my annoying self. Maybe he wanted to read a book unbothered.

He doesn't read. While he reads to me but that's it.

He could also be doing his job and I'm crazy.

I turned to Pierce, "What do you wanna eat?" He turns his floofy snout to the kitchen behind us. "Show me."

He gets off the couch so I get off of it too. I follow him and he gets on the counter, it's so magical to see each time, and he opens one of the cabinets with his foot. He then puts his nose on the box of macaroni and cheese. I grab the box.

"Great idea." He smiles. Awwwwwww. I pet him before grabbing a pot and filling it with water. I put some salt in it and turn on the stove and put it on the stove. He appears on my left side, where the pot is and we both watch the water boil, both of us hanging over the pot.

All the big fat bubbles finally appear.

I turned to the old puppy, "excited?" He nods. I open the box and put in the noodles and turn off the stove and put the lid on. "Now what?"

He lifts his foot in the air so I pet him. He could have wanted something else but I have to pet an animal when they raise their paw. He seems happy, so good enough.

I miss Death. It's been 20 minutes but I miss him. This separation anxiety is annoying.

I don't know if I have it but everyone I know says I have it, and Death and he can read my brain or something. Can he read my thoughts?

"Since Death can read my mind or whatever, can he find out what I think? Like is there a catalog of everything I've ever thought and he can know them?" He shakes his head. "Can you know what I think?"

He whines a 'wroo'. So fucking cute. I pick him up like he's a little baby.

"You have such pretty fur. I'ma steal it."

He looks shocked and says 'wroooo' again. He puts his foot on my arm like he's pushing me away.

"I'm joking. I won't take your fur. I have enough of my own." I look at my hairy legs and arms, I gotta fix that.

He huffs and yaps without any actual noise. His attention then quickly turns to the door and his ears perk up.

I look but don't see anything. He then leaves my arms and goes next to the pot and looks at me. Well I guess it's time to add the cheese and drain the water.

I don't know where the strainer is. I'm bad at this, whatever it is. "Where is the strainer?"

He points his nose to a cabinet under the counter. I open it and find the strainer. How does he know where everything is but I don't? I'm the one that puts it there. My memory doesn't like me.

I put the strainer in the sink and grab the pot. How do I do this again? I must have forgotten everything I've learned since I was 5.

The door knob turns super slowly. It then creeks open super slowly. Athena must have forgotten how to be sneaky.

I turn around with my pot of watery hot noodles and see some dude in a ski mask.

That's not Athena.

He looks at me and I look at him.

This is so fuckin ridiculous and funny I can't be scared frozen. Of course I'm scared but my brain didn't stop functioning. I'm living that one meme from like 30 or so years ago.

It's not 3 am though, it's 3:38 pm. Sorta alike.

"Get out of my house so I can actually lock the door this time." I'm so surprised I forgot to lock the door. I'm so amazing.

Pierce is looking at the random ass person all madly and shit. Only when Death isn't around us when all the crazy shit happens. I could throw the pot of hot water at him to make him go away but I don't wanna waste my macaroni.

It's too expensive.

The knives are right behind me. If I can get a knife- he pulls a gun out of his waistband and holds it towards me.

My heart stops and the panic along with the PTSD begins.

"Give me al your momey."

Who does he think I am? Elon Musk? "If you're poor just say it."

The gun clicks.

Fuck. "I ain't got no money." I know I shouldn't talk. This is horrible. I'm so fucking scared.

I don't wanna die too, the last time was too close.

"Giv me your fuckin' money or I'll kill you."

I look around for Pierce but I don't see him. Don't let me be alone, please.

"Okay..." I put the poor pot down and put my hands in the air because that's what they do on SVU. I walk to the bedroom and hear the guy follow me. He better not look at my ass or I'll learn kung fu in half a second.

I don't own any money. I'm broker than broke. Stupid collage putting me in debt and setting me up for getting murdered.

How do I contact Death if this dude is watching my every move? I'm alone too, what am I gonna do? I'm gonna fucking die yet I'll be alone this time. I can't be alone.

There is no fucking way.

There's a thud. I look to my right and see the guy laying on the ground. My heart stops for the billionth time today.

If he tripped on air I would be so shocked. Well regardless of anything, I'ma be shocked.

Standing here and waiting won't do anything. I try to quietly walk to the door frame but of course that doesn't work.

This is nerve wracking. I look past the wall and see Agnes look from the floor to me. She has Death's scythe and it is huge for her too.

See, it's just not me. I'm not small, his shit is just dramatically big.

I look at the guy on the ground and back at her. "Uhhhh thanks I guess." My emotions stopped working. I don't know how to feel.

They'll probably work in 3 to 5 business years.

She raises her eyebrows like she's unamused, probably disappointed. Who wouldn't be? "So... why do you have the scythe?"

"Why not?"

"Wouldn't you get in trouble?"

"Fuck no, I'm the boss." She looks around the apartment like the government is watching us or something. "Don't tell him I say that."

"I won't. Now tell me what's happening cuz something gotta be happening cuz nothing feels right." Nothing never has but it's just more off right now.

Well, besides the intruder laying on the ground. This is a fever dream.

This really would be a really interesting autobiography. I'd name it potatoes.

"Nothing happen. I fix everything, eejit."

What's eejit? Do the paranormal have a whole language? Well of course they do. "I'm so confused."

"Of course you are. Now come wit me."

"Why?"

She raises her eyebrows yet again like she's disappointed in me. If she raises them anymore they're gonna recede into her hair.

"You man you love is pass out in field."

Oh no, not again, poor guy.

"Come on"- she holds out the scythe- "grab it."

Do I trust her? What if this is all a lie and she killed him somehow? Now I'ma die. Or she could turn me into a demon.

...I wouldn't mind that...

I grab the big fat silver part of the blade that is a lil cold. The gold part looks so pretty. I have to steal this from him.

If I can hide all the gloves then I can hide this, even though it's taller than him. It can fit in the wall.

The scenery changes, I look around. It's the big fat magic paper tree thing. I see my manz sitting against the tree. He looks like he hasn't slept in 40 years.

The scythe moves drops from the other end, I turn back around and Agnes is gone and the super duper tall furry is in the background.

I drag his scythe with me while walking over to him. He is looking at the ground. "What's wrong?" I sit next to him and wait to see what happens.

The scythe disappears. Fucker is probably alive.

"Is your scythe alive?"

"Are aroy broken? . . . Are you conscious? . . . Why aren't you answering me?"

The stupid big fat cloak is in the way. I pull the hood off of him, he's failing at being mysterious so he doesn't need the hood.

His hair is so floofy and pretty and the way it curls is so amazing. "You have really nice hair, you know." Just cuz he's passed out doesn't mean he can't respond, so rude.

"This is the 8th time since I've known you, that is a lot. You should go to the doctor." I grab his hand. "I would hug you but it's kinda hard since your chest is as wide as my arms, it's easier if we're standing or something cuz then I could hug your waist but you're dying so that won't work." . . .

" Come on, stop sitting here all depressed and shit with a tall furry mime and a cannibal tree and come home with me. I have missed you, sir."

He groans and his fingers twitch. All my gibberish worked, I'm amazing.

I ran my hand through his hair, completely messing it up, not that it was neat. I crawl in front of him and straddle his leg cuz my knees don't need to suffer. He slowly looks up to me. . . so sad and dazed looking. Awe.

I hold his miserable looking face with my hands. "You're okay."

"I'm sorry..."

"Don't apologize, you did nothing wrong." The way the tree shades his face is perfect, he's so beautiful.

He drags his hands down his face and sighs. "I'm so sorry."

I put my hand over his mouth. "Stop being so sad, be happy. And the craziest shit happened while you were gone."

He wraps his arms around me and leans against the tree and has me leaning on him. "What happened?"

I feel so smol. "Some guy broke in while me and Pierce were making macaroni and cheese and then Pierce disappeared and then the dude threatened to shoot me if I didn't give him my money so I went to the bedroom even though I have no money. Before I could think of anything the dude was on the ground and it was Agnes who knocked him out and she had your scythe and brought me here and then disappeared and your scythe disappeared before you woke up. Life is crazy."

He now looks shooketh, so shooketh that he doesn't respond.

"I don't know if the guy is still there or not. I should lock the doors more often, it was so crazy. I don't know where Pierce is either." Ha, I made him speechless. I gotta stop confusing the poor guy, he probably still needs time to get all his senses together from passing out. "Are you alright?" I drap my arms over his shoulders and play with the edges of his hair.

"I don't know."

I lift up his arms and can only reach his forearms to try and stretch him. "Yoga fixes everything." I don't know if stretching your arms is yoga but it is today.

He intertwined his hands with mine and stretched me instead. He lets go of my hands and interlocks his under me. I look back down and our noses are a millimeter apart. His breath is hot. So close.

"hi..."

He smiles. "Hi." Boops our noses.

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*Irina walks back on the stage* "It's been a hot minute. I see there aren't a lot of viewers, just about 1 or 2. I appreciate you guys, but I think I figured out what I did wrong."

*She stays quiet to build suspense in the quiet auditorium*

"The beginning is very boring. It is horrible and not accurate, I'm so sorry for being a sociopathic liar but I will rewrite the story once I finish this, which is soon...

"Maybe.

"Or should I make 2nd story? Have a little series?"