Italics- thoughts/ flashbacks/ dreams
Bold- author talking
Underline- narrator talking, known as the main character
Normal- normal story

2156 words

ꨄ❦ꨄ❦ꨄ➪

I told him we should watch My Little Pony but he didn’t want to, he wanted to watch some scary ass thing.

We’re watching My Little Pony, well I am. I don’t know what he is doing.

He made it show up on the TV since I only have cable, poor people behavior.

Quite funny since I’m laying on him. He’s half sitting and half laying on the couch and I’m laying on him, my arm hanging off and I’m petting Pierce who is curled up on the floor.

The left side of me has fallen asleep, such a tragedy, I also forgot half of the pony’s names but this is the episode where twilight’s brother and sister in law had the baby pony. A question comes into mind.

I turn to my manz, “have you ever had kids before? Are you a dad?”

He kisses my forehead and runs his hand through my hair, “what do you think?”

“Well probably you’ve been in a lot of relationships and you've been around for some time.” I always forget that. So weird. Old ass man and dog.

“I'm a father.”

“Why haven't you talked about them?” He shakes his head and looks sad now. "Awe it's ok, you don't have to say why."

We're watching MLP, one cannot be sad when watching MLP, it's literally colorful little ponies singing about friendship on crack head energy. Who would be sad during that?

So weird to think about that. I should stop asking questions. Am I gonna be a stepmom? I don't wanna be a mean old bitch. I'll be a good stepmom.

I feel like a child with a 40 year old man but he isn't even a person and I'm an adult. I'ma stop thinking about this before I give myself a brain aneurysm.

I remember last night and turn back to him. He's staring off into space and drags his hand up and down my back. "Do you remember last night and how the door kept super slowly closing like a creaky old ass zombie?"

He looks at me like he forgot where he is and nods.

"Do you know why it does that?"

"The building has settled."

"What's that?"

"The dirt underneath has shifted from weather or the foundation has lost water and changed."

"Is the building gonna collapse?"

"If it was, would you think I'd let you stay here?"

"Yes. You wanna see me get smooshed like a fly." I sit up because the pins and needles in my left side are going crazy. It feels like TV static.

Not that I know how it feels.

Pierce sits up and looks at me with his blind looking self before jumping on the couch next to me and curling into a ball, almost immediately falling asleep.

My cuddle buddy wraps his arms around me and pulls me against him. Now I'm sorta sitting or laying but sideways. He puts his hand on the side of my face and has me look up at him, his thumb rubbing my skin.

"I would never let you get crushed. All my hard work put into fixing your damaged hair would go to waste, such a shame."

So rude. "My hair wasn't that damaged."

He grabs the braid he did last night, takes off the rubber band and unbraids all 200 pounds of faded green, blue and purple hair. He then finger combs it with his stupidly sharp nails. "Not now, before yes."

"Nuh uh, I did a great job at taking care of my hair." I turn to him and he looks like a disappointed parent who just listened to his kid lie to his face. "I only didn't know how to do a few things but not everyone knows everything. I did enough."

"What were the 'few' things you didn't know how to do?"

I awkwardly smile like the guilty loser I am. "Just a few minor things like how to wash it… or brush it… or style it… not that important. How do you know so much anyways?"

"I have been with women and their hair? It would be ignorant of me to not know anything."

"Oh yea."

I suddenly become extremely aware of my surroundings. My brain decides to just now wake up.

He's so hot, oh my God. I got me a whole ass tall giant man with lotta muscle and dark hair and bright blue eyes and the most scrumptious features.

And I'm laying on top of him, I'm pressed against him. I can feel every dent and ridge, all the muscles. This is so nice.

What if I got rid of all my fatness and tried to be like him? But then where would the cushioning be? See, I'm doing the both of us a favor every time I eat cake or chips.

He looks like the people in movies that can pick up anyone and anything or destroy anything he wants and yet he is just running his nails through my hair with MLP in the background and is extremely clingy. Now I wanna know if he would be the hero or villain of the movie. I feel like he would be the confused guy just trying to do good but failing miserably because the movie needs a plot.

"Death?" He hums. "Would you sacrifice me to save the world or sacrifice the world to save me?"

Hopefully he picks the right one. The world is kinda important, it's 10 billion versus one person and there's all the animals and plants and artwork, don't forget the artwork. And Athena and all my other friends.

All 4 of them. Athena, Pierce, Death and my old boss. So many people.

"I know what you would say," he started, "I know what you want me to say. I say you are simply wrong my dear. I would sacrifice the world for you, raise hell and drown heaven. I would do anything for you."

Oh. "I don't know what to say."

"Then don't say anything."

I'm so confused and honored and slightly concerned. How does one react to this? Or this could be the one time I don't have to react, well for my brain at least. My heart is definitely reacting, I can feel it beating. My mind hates me and makes me not feel special so I'm not gonna think.

Who needs a brain? Not me, mines defective anyways.

I watch the TV for half a second before my thoughts wonder off again. I turn back to my manz and grin. He looks concerned but also sort of… 'I know you are gonna ask 5 gazillion more questions'. Well maybe not 5 gazillion.

"What if I cut my hair?"

"Trim it?"

"No, like go all bald and get rid of my eyebrows and every hair on my body." Be like a bald barbie.

"You love your hair."

I do, it's about the only thing I love about myself besides my eyes and small waist. "I need a change. I wanna scare people the next time they see me."

That's if I go outside where the people are. People are scary.

He kisses my forehead and tightens his arms around me, it's like I'm wearing a corset. "It will be such a tragedy if you get rid of you hair. Pierce would be so sad."

He looks at Pierce so I do too. Pierce gives him a dirty look before going back to sleep.

I love Pierce, he's such a mood.

"I think you would be more sad than him."

"You can do whatever you want with your hair, it does not affect me."

"You are the biggest, fattest, liar I have ever met." I use my weak ass arms to hold myself up so I can be taller than him. I love being taller than him, I should have been 6'9. I put my finger on his nose and try not to laugh cuz this is so ridiculous, "you would be so super sad you big liar."

He sits up so now I'm straddling him. He then grabs my finger with his fucking teeth, I squeal so loud I actually scare myself and pull my hand back. "You're crazy!"

He grins with his stupidly shiny, sharp teeth. "Don't put your fingers where they don't belong."

"You do it alllllll the timeeeeeee."

"I'm special."

"You are," I say sorta condescending but not too much because I don't wanna be mean. Or however way to say it. Oh I'm so dumb.

"What does that mean?"

"That you are very special."

He raises an eyebrow like the rock but he looks stupid as fuck doing it. I put his shirt over his face. "I told you to stop doing that; you look like a dying roach!" My man is a dying roach. Oh my gawd.

He starts laughing and fixes his shirt. "You're choice of words is arbitrary. How would you know what a dying roach looks like?"

"I just know these things."

He sighs and runs his hands through his hair which has gotten longer since I met him.

"I'ma make you bald too."

"I always wanted to be bald, thank you for confirming my decision."

I gasp, "you can't go bald. What if your parents dropped you as a kid and your skull is uneven. You could be an ugly bald person."

He looks at me like I'm crazy and delusional and everything else. "This isn't the body I was born it. I don't have any indents, wouldn't you have felt any by now if there was any?"

"Oh yea. Well you can't go bald anyways."

"Why not?"

"Cuz you could be ugly." My manz has to be beautiful.

"You could be ugly bald."

"We will both be ugly together."

"How fun."

"That's what I'm saying." Now he's getting it. What's better than being ugly? Being ugly with someone else.  "I actually do wanna do something."

"Like?"

"I'm not telling you. I'ma gatekeep like you do."

He looks at me goofy, "I don't gatekeep."

“Yes you do. You never tell me anything, well you do but I’m sure there’s a bunch more you aren’t telling me.”

His beautiful smile fades away and he looks at the wall behind me instead of at me.“There is.”

Damn I ruined everything. Why do I have to talk? Well I'm already here so why not find out? “Then why don’t you tell me?”

“I don’t know how." His inner eyebrows are slanted and he is now looking down. Awe, poor guy.

I poke his ear, "it's okay." Only child behavior. "You know, you're really pretty when you look sad. Like seeing the moon at night with an orange tint or seeing the Eiffel Tower at night. You shouldn't be sad, you should be happy but you're just so pretty." I don't want him to be sad, compliments make everyone happy.

He smiles just a smidge, "what am I ever going to do with you?"

"Help me find a job."

He looks at me for a fraction of time, "alright."

"Actually?" I'm com-fiber-bobbled-dudled. He nods. "So am I gonna go door to door like in the old times? Actually no, they might think I'm a serial killer and call the police on me."

He runs his hand against my back and kisses my forehead, "no one will think you're a serial killer."

"How do you know?"

"I can read minds."  He does the horrendous smolder face.

I fucking die from cringe and start laughing so much I almost fall off the couch. Who would have guest I would almost fall off the couch?

"Stop that! You look like a fucking bafoon," I squeal cuz I'm a pig. He grins, that horrible expression finally disappears. "Do you actually know how to read minds?"

He shakes his head like it's obvious, "of course not. No one can do that."

"Not even God?"

"Nope, no one can."

"What if you're lying and everyone can read my mind and I'm in a simulation?"

"That is up to you to believe."

"Well what do you say?"

He looks around the apartment and out the window before turning back to me, "This is all real."

"What about the rest of everything?"

"It is all real."

It could be real to us cuz we're in a simulation, it could be real because that is all we know. Why do I care so much? Life isn't gonna change if I figure it out.

"What do you think is the best way to find a job?"

"Research."

"I've been doing that."

"20 minutes doesn't count."

If only it did. I just need a job that makes me super rich in like a month. He takes an arm off of me and holds his hand next to us, my computer appears in it. He opens it and a random website appears.

He hands it to me, "start looking."

ꨄ❦ꨄ❦ꨄ➪

I wanted to write a scene of "present" them here but idk what to write :)

Maybe I'll think of something but it won't be here cuz I'm a lazy bum and don't want to go back to this to change it.

Here's the reference picture for one of the poses I tried describing for them.  ⬇️

Was it a fail or no?

Lol the guy has hairy arms